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Location: New Albany, Indiana (Greater Louisville)
11,974 posts, read 25,499,887 times
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Overall how would you rate those people how raised you when you were a child? What was done well and done poorly?
Myself...
The Good
- Intellectual stimulation was frequent. Always read to, they would get books if I was interested in a topic.
- I was taught to treat adults / older people in general with respect
- I was taught not to waste things and to be thankful, whether food or clothing, etc
The Bad
- No one ever stood up for me, often they sided with those were bullying me.
- Lack on constructive criticism during a decision but then I would get criticized later after the fact
I might add details later, don't want to hijack thread.
It was excellent. I survived and had a lot of fun in the process. They provided all of the material needs and sent me to good schools and took me to church. I would say 95% of it was way better than most in the world experience.
Overall how would you rate those people how raised you when you were a child? What was done well and done poorly?
Myself...
The Good
- Intellectual stimulation was frequent. Always read to, they would get books if I was interested in a topic.
- I was taught to treat adults / older people in general with respect
- I was taught not to waste things and to be thankful, whether food or clothing, etc
The Bad
- No one ever stood up for me, often they sided with those were bullying me.
- Lack on constructive criticism during a decision but then I would get criticized later after the fact
I might add details later, don't want to hijack thread.
Overall, I'd give my parents a grade of between A- and A. They truly couldn't have done much better.
The Good
Set money aside for the education of both their children and never once blinked at paying for college tuition. Of course, this was long ago, when tuition at a public university was a bargain.
Set marvelous examples for their children in terms of a work ethic, their own education, and honest and ethical behavior.
Even though they had a very different childhood than mine, they did an excellent job of understanding and empathizing with me.
The Bad
There really isn't much that was bad, but I want to give some balance, so I will try.
Probably could have spent more actual time with their kids, but were preoccupied with work and gaining promotions, so time with us was limited. This wasn't entirely bad though. Because of it, I learned to be very self-reliant by the time I was thirteen.
Did a lot of gossiping. I can't identify any particular harm from this. However, the message they sent was that it was ok to snipe at others behind their back.
Probably spent too much time worrying about things like politics that they couldn't really change or affect much.
Pros: they paid for education. Basic material needs met. They behaved as adults, didn't involve children in adult drama. They really did want the best for their children, and thought they were providing it. In general, more money was spent on education and music lessons than did neighboring families.
Cons: lots of hitting, screaming, deliberate social isolation of children, refusal to recognize significant mental health issues in selves and children, refusal to protect younger sibs from severely disturbed behavior of older sibs. Overall, an extremely miserable childhood. In today's world, the children would have been removed. But for that era (50s through 70s), it was not that unusual, unfortunately.
I've tried very hard to provide better for my own children. When you ask someone what they want for their own children, you can tell what was lacking in their own childhood.
Parenting in my mothers home was a solid D not because of abuse, but rather I was a pawn to control and hurt my father. The step father was not mean but he did not care for children that were not his. Step side of the home were huge issues, i have not talked them over 35 years.
Several years later, i moved into my father's house which I gave B-. Conversation, caring were seen and no step siblings helped ALOT.
Got fed well dressed well.. but helping with homework and guidance for the future were never there..
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