Is it time for American parents to stop farming out their children to be raised by strangers at minimum wage? (support, girls)
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There are a lot of people out there who try to take advantage of others for free childcare - their own aging parents (grandparents of the child) or try to drop them off at neighbor's doorsteps before they go off to work every day. And some of these are parents who have high-flying careers making good enough money to pay for childcare. I am very careful about this and only allow kids over to my home for pre-planned playdates with my kids. If it starts to smell like more of a babysitting arrangement, I cancel the playdates.
Although this didn't happen in the library where I worked, an article in one of the newspapers was about how there were parents who would dump their kids at the local library during the summer. The library branch managers were really frustrated to see this happen. To me, the idea of doing that to your child is horrifying. We can give kids the "don't talk to strangers" talk but when they're young, they tend to not get it. A stranger could convince a child to leave the library with him/her. No one working at the library is going to pay attention to things like that. It's not their job to be babysitters.
Then, one summer, it was discovered that in one suburban area, there were parents who dumped their kids at the local playground in the summer. The kids were expected to entertain themselves. Again, that's horrifying.
I'm not saying that anyone posting here is doing such things. Just pointing out that things like this do happen.
What age were the kids at the library and the playground? It makes a huge difference. I was a suburban, free-range kid in the ‘70s. All of us were. We took off on our bikes on summer mornings, toting a sack lunch with our bathing suits on under our clothes, and our parents didn’t see us until dinner time. Nobody would have accused them of abandoning us, and we were more than capable of entertaining ourselves. We ran around in packs, and it was all good. Swimming, exploring the creek, climbing trees, collecting wild blackberries, riding our bikes, buying candy from the Stop and Go, playing kickball, etc. It was a great way to grow up. I could not have imagined a better childhood for myself, and I endeavored to provide my own now grown children a similar lifestyle.
Last edited by abbottkd71; 08-04-2020 at 03:00 PM..
When is the last time you heard a young person say the words “Please” and “Thank You?” When is the last time you heard a child say “You’re Welcome?”
Many Daycare facilities I’ve seen serve low quality food meant to fill the belly.
All this "back in my day" fist shaking only sounds like it comes from someone who hasn't spent any length of time around "young people" or in a school facility in decades. Your generalizations are just not accurate, or you're extrapolating two or three negative interactions into the downfall of the human race as we know it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ReadyForWhatsNext
That's in part, because everybody is too busy with their own self-involvement.
I think this has much more to do with what you're trying to get at than the two-income family dynamic.
There are a million more distractions in the world today, for parents and children, and those have degraded the quality of interaction between adults and kids even when parents are at home.
What age were the kids at the library and the playground? It makes a huge difference. I was a suburban, free-range kid in the ‘70s. All of us were. We took off on our bikes in the morning, toting a sack lunch with our bathing suits on under our clothes, and our parents didn’t see us until dinner time. Nobody would have accused them of abandoning us, and we were more than capable of entertaining ourselves. We ran around in packs, and it was all good. Swimming, exploring the creek, climbing trees, collecting the wild blackberries, riding our bikes, buying candy from the Stop and Go, playing kickball, etc. Great way to grow up!
I can relate. My sister and I were 7 and 9 when my mother went back to work. We had great Summers! One Summer, we were 10 and 12, we took the bus into Baltimore City three days a week to take sewing lessons (developed a lifelong love affair with sewing). We went to the local pool, went to the park, rode bikes, we entertained ourselves all day--we turned out okay!
No one is forced to stay home or give up a career. Life is full of choices. And I choose to avoid being antagonistic so I hope we can have a friendly discourse. What say you?
If I put my sons up against some of their friends--they all turned out the same. I was the stay at home mother for 18 years. Many of their friends went to daycare and after school care. They all turned out to be good adults.
Things happen in life to change courses. Who is to say one parent has to give up their career? And who says every parent that stays home does a good job raising their kids?
This argument has been going around for decades. Let it go...
What age were the kids at the library and the playground? It makes a huge difference. I was a suburban, free-range kid in the ‘70s. All of us were. We took off on our bikes in on summer mornings, toting a sack lunch with our bathing suits on under our clothes, and our parents didn’t see us until dinner time. Nobody would have accused them of abandoning us, and we were more than capable of entertaining ourselves. We ran around in packs, and it was all good. Swimming, exploring the creek, climbing trees, collecting wild blackberries, riding our bikes, buying candy from the Stop and Go, playing kickball, etc. It was a great way to grow up. I could not have imagined a better childhood for myself, and I endeavored to provide my own now grown children a similar lifestyle.
that's nice but times have changed, and with the pandemic and recent upheaval in our society, it may not be that safe anymore. A woman was murdered in our neighborhood just the other day and that's pretty new around here, doesn't ordinarily happen. Six months ago, I would have agreed with your post.
Although this didn't happen in the library where I worked, an article in one of the newspapers was about how there were parents who would dump their kids at the local library during the summer. The library branch managers were really frustrated to see this happen. To me, the idea of doing that to your child is horrifying. We can give kids the "don't talk to strangers" talk but when they're young, they tend to not get it. A stranger could convince a child to leave the library with him/her. No one working at the library is going to pay attention to things like that. It's not their job to be babysitters.
Then, one summer, it was discovered that in one suburban area, there were parents who dumped their kids at the local playground in the summer. The kids were expected to entertain themselves. Again, that's horrifying.
I'm not saying that anyone posting here is doing such things. Just pointing out that things like this do happen.
It's happening all over the country.
One of our daughter was librarian for years. School buses would unload kids at her library. Kids from first grade on up. Some would be there every night until 9 pm closing. About once a month or so, they would have to call the police to pick up children as they were unable to contact parents at closing.
They eventually were able to get the school buses to stop dropping off kids, but many made their way over anyway. Parents preferred it to the after school programs as those cost money and expected you to pick up the kids at 5:30.
that's nice but times have changed, and with the pandemic and recent upheaval in our society, it may not be that safe anymore. A woman was murdered in our neighborhood just the other day and that's pretty new around here, doesn't ordinarily happen. Six months ago, I would have agreed with your post.
I’m sorry to know that your area is suffering from upheaval. I hope things improve. So far, we haven’t seen anything concerning in our neighborhood or the surrounding community. I would still feel fine about letting children have freedom to explore without close supervision. The park down the street from my house is getting heavy use this summer. Lots of kids doing what kids do when given room to run.
What age were the kids at the library and the playground? It makes a huge difference. I was a suburban, free-range kid in the ‘70s. All of us were. We took off on our bikes on summer mornings, toting a sack lunch with our bathing suits on under our clothes, and our parents didn’t see us until dinner time. Nobody would have accused them of abandoning us, and we were more than capable of entertaining ourselves. We ran around in packs, and it was all good. Swimming, exploring the creek, climbing trees, collecting wild blackberries, riding our bikes, buying candy from the Stop and Go, playing kickball, etc. It was a great way to grow up. I could not have imagined a better childhood for myself, and I endeavored to provide my own now grown children a similar lifestyle.
The kids being left at the libraries all day were elementary school aged.
When I was growing up, we, too, were "free range" kids. That was back in the late 50s through the 60s. Times were much, much different then. Nearly every neighborhood house had a SAHM in it. The neighbors knew the other neighbors' kids. Thus, when a mother saw a kid behaving badly, she would get on the phone and call the kid's mother. Us kids were expected to be in earshot so that our mothers could call out for them to come home. If we wanted to go to the library, we were required to tell a parent since the library wasn't that close to the house.
Even back then, it was not acceptable to dump your kid at the local library and tell them to stay there all day. Nor was it acceptable to dump a kid at a playground and tell them to stay there all day.
Times are different now. During the day, it's more common than not to have no one at home. Many times I would see kids walking past our house and would have no idea as to who they were.
I’m sorry to know that your area is suffering from upheaval. I hope things improve. So far, we haven’t seen anything concerning in our neighborhood or the surrounding community. I would still feel fine about letting children have freedom to explore without close supervision. The park down the street from my house is getting heavy use this summer. Lots of kids doing what kids do when given room to run.
You would be surprised to hear this but where I live there was a case where the parents of two kids were allowing them to be free range and the neighbors called the cops. CPS was sent in to talk to the parents and the parents were told to better supervise their kids. The parents ignored all that and continued to let their kids roam (IIRC, the older kid was 10 and the younger one was 5). Again, the parents got into trouble. They lived in the city in an area with single family homes.
I hope you have educated your kids when it comes to adult predators. When I was growing up, all we got told was to not talk to strangers.
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