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A lot of parents worry when their kids start school that they will be bullied. What can parents do to help their kids not become easy targets for bullies?
A lot of parents worry when their kids start school that they will be bullied. What can parents do to help their kids not become easy targets for bullies?
A lot of parents worry when their kids start school that they will be bullied. What can parents do to help their kids not become easy targets for bullies?
Put your child in an activity that they excel in, outside of school if necessary.
Build confidence. Help build a thicker skin.
Make sure your child is dressed appropriately, not too far out of the norm, always clean and neat.
Cultivate friendships outside of school.
Get to know your child’s classmates’ parents.
Volunteer at the school or in the classroom.
Come eat lunch with your child now and then.
(Be at school occasionally to observe).
Keep your child off of social media for as long as possible.
Listen to your child when they tell you things that upset them. Spend time with your child.
Don’t be afraid to go to the teacher or administrators if something seems off to you.
Both of my kids have been bullied, but not consistently and not in the same way.
A lot of parents worry when their kids start school that they will be bullied. What can parents do to help their kids not become easy targets for bullies?
It's a complex answer because there's many levels of bullying.
Of course, my parents were 1st generation and gave me absolutely ZERO guidance on this topic. So, I was on my own.
Most of the bullying I experienced was short term. Somebody would say something mean to me or kick my chair, but it wouldn't continue. Sometimes you just have to let that go.
For those kids who face constant bullying, tougher...
I would tell those kids who face a constant tormenter to fight back, with profanity and if necessary, a punch, but in a 'rough school' that could make things much worse. But in a suburban type school, most kids won't bother somebody they know could potentially really take a swing at them. Even if they can pummel your kid. The idea is to prey on fear...
One thing I will say is that those in academically advanced classes face less bullying. I was always in those classes and I do think it would have been somewhat worse for me if that was not the case.
One day, I told my kid as he was leaving for middle school in outgrown pants, "You can't go to school wearing those. Kids will tease you for it." He laughed. "Oh Mom, people don't bully kids who have friends!"
That's the solution. The kid needs to be surrounded by friends - then kid won't be a target. Hence all the advice on helping kids to make friends. Be friends with the parents of other kids in the class. Encourage playdates early on, and later on, encourage the good kids to hang out at your house, by providing a space for them, fill it with snacks, gaming system, etc. Big backyard to play football in. Encourage participation in a school activity that leads to inclusion, be it sports, band, whatever. Do everything you can to help your child to have friends at school, and they won't be a victim of bullying.
One day, I told my kid as he was leaving for middle school in outgrown pants, "You can't go to school wearing those. Kids will tease you for it." He laughed. "Oh Mom, people don't bully kids who have friends!"
That's the solution. The kid needs to be surrounded by friends - then kid won't be a target. Hence all the advice on helping kids to make friends. Be friends with the parents of other kids in the class. Encourage playdates early on, and later on, encourage the good kids to hang out at your house, by providing a space for them, fill it with snacks, gaming system, etc. Big backyard to play football in. Encourage participation in a school activity that leads to inclusion, be it sports, band, whatever. Do everything you can to help your child to have friends at school, and they won't be a victim of bullying.
It is somewhat true though it depends on what you consider bullying.
Kids will still get teased and will get mean and nasty comments from other students even if they have a group of respected friends.
In high school, my friends got a fair amount of respect, but I still got some grief. And girls will say all kinds of mean stuff to other girls who even are somewhat popular.
JHS is rough. If your kid tells you different, either he's keeping it on the DL... or is the bully...
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