Son keeps pulling down other kids pants

[Isleofpalms85]

So?


Do whatever you feel is within your means to appropriately discipline your son before the situation gets any worse.
You should be in control of setting values and setting boundaries on what sorts of behaviors are appropriate and which are not, end of story.


Moderator cut: deleted

[BOS2IAD]

Originally Posted by oregonwoodsmoke

Quite often ( almost always) reasoning with kids and explaining why and setting firm boundaries is what works the best.


But sometimes if what the parent expects doesn't align with what the kids feels he has a right to do, a quick swat on the butt works wonders. Depending upon how willful a child is, a soft cuff is instant negative enforcement and works better than taking away a toy which is something in the future and not as firmly linked to the misbehavior. Get a negative reaction and get it over with and then get on with your life works for some kids or for maybe a different kid under different circumstances.


You can tell a kid over and over to not touch the hot stove and some kids won't stop until they get burned. Then they stop. Sometimes a swat is the equivalent of touching the hot stove.


I agree with the others about looking into why he is doing the pantsing, just in case.


OP, I want to point out that it is a common behavior for boys. It is so common that there is a word to describe the behavior. I don't think the problem is the pantsing. I think the problem is that he won't stop after it has been explained to him that it is not OK.

Per the bolded --- There are kids who get burned (literally or figuratively) but still repeat the same behavior. I have a brother like that. He often befriends shady people and gets burned, only to do it over and over again.

On to what others have said --- I have a grandson who liked Captain Underpants when he was around the age of the OP's son. Yet he never went around pulling down anyone's pants.

Another concern others expressed is that perhaps an adult had abused the boy. The OP and her spouse need to give this plenty of thought. Do they ever recall an adult expressing an extreme amount of interest in their son? Did their son ever have times when he was alone with anyone like that?

If they think their son may have been abused, I suggest calling Child Help or looking at their website. www.childhelp.org. Or call their hotline 1-800-4-A CHILD. A counselor can give good advice as to how to proceed.

[butterflygirlmomof2]

I don't think this has been mentioned, but is it possible he picked this up from his electronic devices? From your other posts, OP, you mention he seems very bright for his age. It's amazing what kinds of things children can find with unsupervised access to devices. Do you have parental controls set up or at least make sure he doesn't have free reign?

For the record, both of my boys loved Captain Underpants but not once did they engage in any disrespectful behavior.

[Kluch]

Wowza, the number of posts in this thread encouraging further punishment is a bit astonishing to me (though I guess I'm not entirely surprised).

We currently have a 6yo boy so I can partially relate. If you've tried punishment and it's not working then you need to dig deeper. Behavior modification is not the way, though many parents are only concerned with behavior modification (and then wonder why their kids go off the deep end as the years progress).

I would try and dig into the root issue. Ask him why he likes to do it? What is causing his interest in doing it? Does he want attention? Is there something else at the root of this acting out?

I wouldn't hesitate to involve a counselor. Some things come out best with a third party involved. Don't be ashamed to visit a counselor either. I think it's perfectly acceptable to use the help of one to find the root issue of this situation. There may be something else going on with your son that you're not aware of.

[Kluch]

Originally Posted by DKM

My son's friend in kindergarten did that too. Until his dad found out and spanked him. Is it that hard? A few years later and the kid is well adjusted and well behaved...

...for now.


For some children physical discipline isn't helpful but can be harmful. We tried spanking initially with one of our sons and he didn't respond well to it (in a healthy manner). We changed our discipline techniques and adjusted to taking away his privileges and felt it was a much better fit. He still "felt the pain" but we weren't physically inflicting pain on him. Oh, and this is coming from someone who grew up in a home where all my siblings and I were spanked. I used to promote spanking wholeheartedly, then once I had kids I started changing my mind after doing some reading.