I think kids just being tied to their electronics 24/7 is sad (babysitters, meal)
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80's baby here. We had some video game things but not til later in my childhood and we didn't have anything handheld like gameboy that we could take places.
Nowadays it's freakin crazy how much time kids spend on their electronics. My stepson plays from the moment he gets up until the moment he goes to bed (if he even goes to bed @ all). THis is not a reflection of bad parenting, but just want to caveat that neither me nor my husband raised him (he lives with his mom and is visiting us for a month, he's 12).
That said, it is constant. ALL THE TIME. And my husband will try & get him to do other things but he has no interest. When my parents would have their friends over, they would expect us to hang out with & make conversation with the friends or play a board game or something with them. Nowadays it seems like children just hibernate in their rooms with their games now.
It's such a sad way to grow up.
I don't necessarily know if it would have made a difference if we raised him, but I would never allow my child to play on electronics all day. You need to have friends and play outside.
No, your not old fashioned and even if you are, I agree with you.
I mean he has friends, but mostly they just game together either in the same room on separate devices or in their own houses. He is not with us full time so maybe he does other things, IDK, but from what he tells me, mostly he just games and my husband couldn't get him to do anything else here other than that. We did leave the house 1 day but it was to go to an arcade (like Dave & Busters type thing) ... so more gaming lol.
Beach, bike riding, going to the park, going for a walk, playing in backyard with the dog, throwing a ball around ... nope, none of that.
70's baby here - not all kids are like that. One kid doesn't speak for an entire generation. It is true that the young generation is much more into screens. But that is how it goes.
Although screen time is much more widespread among kids than I would like it to be...plenty of families limit screen time (as much as possible, given that school was remote due to Covid).
For your stepson, even if he does not have an interest in the non-screen activities you offer, I'd have him do them anyway. "We're going to the beach (or museum, or whatever) today, and your phone is going in my bag." That's it. And you all go.
He will huff and puff about it but will still benefit from those outings, even if he's sulking the whole time.
I've found that if you "force" kids to be bored at times, about 30-45 minutes later they figure out their own games or entertainment. You just have to get over that hump.
Heck, I recall in the 90s my parents taking preteen me on mountain hikes and though I complained, those places and hiking are some of my most-loved!!
Although screen time is much more widespread among kids than I would like it to be...plenty of families limit screen time (as much as possible, given that school was remote due to Covid).
For your stepson, even if he does not have an interest in the non-screen activities you offer, I'd have him do them anyway. "We're going to the beach (or museum, or whatever) today, and your phone is going in my bag." That's it. And you all go.
He will huff and puff about it but will still benefit from those outings, even if he's sulking the whole time.
I've found that if you "force" kids to be bored at times, about 30-45 minutes later they figure out their own games or entertainment. You just have to get over that hump.
Heck, I recall in the 90s my parents taking preteen me on mountain hikes and though I complained, those places and hiking are some of my most-loved!!
I agree but my husband feels like, he only gets to see him a small part of the year that he wants him to have fun and not be dragged to do things he will be unhappy about. Gaming makes it easy on me with working @ home all day but I just feel like it's not good for the kids.
I know my stepson is not the only kid like this but I also realize not every kid is either. But way more so now than when I was a kid ... and yeah part of it is b/c we didn't have all these gadgets but still ... I see a lot of kids like this now. I see kids @ restaurants with their families just sitting on the tablet or the switch. Have a conversation with your family!!! Is it so hard?
Well, the restaurant thing I understand...the adults likely want to enjoy one meal without kids arguing/banging on stuff/ruining it for all the other customers.
But, at home, there's usually no need for that. At home, yeah, no screens at the table.
Could you take him to the library and have him pick out books for himself to read at home? Or, whatever activities his dad is into...a sport, or collecting, or whatever, is there a way for them to do that together, even part of the time?
I guess it's hard when, stepsons "default setting" is screen time. I don't know how to do a hard reset without totally upsetting him. But I imagine it's better to do it sooner than later so he knows Dad's home is run differently.
At our house when things start approaching too much computer time, the kids have to go cold turkey, they sure don't like it but too bad. I keep the house stocked with cheap stuff to do. Sewing stuff, board games, books, balls for outside, gardening supplies, etc.
If they still whine after that, I threaten them with house chores. That usually gets them to find something to do pretty quickly.
Very sad and very scary (for the world). Devices are used as babysitters before kids can even talk or walk -- so their parents can stare at their smart phones uninterrupted, of course!
Last edited by otterhere; 08-05-2021 at 03:42 PM..
Well, the restaurant thing I understand...the adults likely want to enjoy one meal without kids arguing/banging on stuff/ruining it for all the other customers.
But, at home, there's usually no need for that. At home, yeah, no screens at the table.
Could you take him to the library and have him pick out books for himself to read at home? Or, whatever activities his dad is into...a sport, or collecting, or whatever, is there a way for them to do that together, even part of the time?
I guess it's hard when, stepsons "default setting" is screen time. I don't know how to do a hard reset without totally upsetting him. But I imagine it's better to do it sooner than later so he knows Dad's home is run differently.
At our house when things start approaching too much computer time, the kids have to go cold turkey, they sure don't like it but too bad. I keep the house stocked with cheap stuff to do. Sewing stuff, board games, books, balls for outside, gardening supplies, etc.
If they still whine after that, I threaten them with house chores. That usually gets them to find something to do pretty quickly.
I am home all day working but i have time away from my desk & i offer to take him to the park, play board game, go to the pool for an hr or 2 … cant get him to budge. Im just embarrassed for these kids when they get older. There are adults who will try & talk to my stepkiddo, our friends or strangers or whoever & he just always has his head down @ the screen. If an adult does this, it’s rude. Kids gotta know it’s not the right thing to do. You can’t consume yr life with that stuff.
He doesnt even watch tv, which I think is a bit better … I just see these kids having a rude awakening one day when they have to function in the real world
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