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Fall behind in team sports? If the idea is for the child to have fun, what does it matter? Sure, there are super competitive private teams, and sure, your kid might not ever qualify for THAT...but there's always the city teams, that most kids can sign up with through school...and if your child decides he likes team sports, he learns all the good things about team building and working together, that he would've learned on an elite team, right?
Is your son an only child? Seems like, to me, only children take a little longer to 'adjust' to team sports, cause the idea of sharing and coordinating with other people is kind of foreign to them. And...that's assuming he's even going to be athletic. Who knows, he might be musically inclined instead, or want to build robots on robot teams.
If you seriously are OK with him NOT necessarily liking it, I would make it very clear to him that it's OK with YOU, if it's not his thing, and doesn't want to do it. He might be saying he likes it because he doesn't want to dissapoint his dad.
Agreed... the thread title includes "anxiety in children" but it seems to be more about your worries that he may miss out at something (that you don't know if he wants) in the future.
ETA I do understand where you are coming from. There is a lot of pressure to put your kids in Suzuki lessons at 3yo, pay for that pricey ballet camp, spend weekends coding, etc. It does seem that the pendulum is swinging the other way after years of parents pushing kids to have college applications that are 20 pages long when in truth they could be better off in many cases skipping college and going in a different direction. I have 3 kids myself and absolutely see my neighbors spending all of the $$$ on different things, and it does tap into my insecurities. But so far neither I nor my children have any regrets for not going that route.
I guess as a parent I just want to make sure he's having fun and doing things he enjoys. Finding that out of a 6 year old can be tough as well. Especially with a child that has interests, but anxiety in larger groups.
Like I stated, I live in a very big sports community so a lot of his friends are these kids that have parents that push them and have them in advanced instruction at a young age. I don't want to be like that. I just don't want him to become very into this in a few years and feel he's behind, that's all. As a parent, I want to make sure I'm doing everything I can to make sure he's happy. I will have to try him in multiple things to see what he truly enjoys. I appreciate all of the input.
There's nothing you can do about what other parents do. Not everyone wants to hire trainers or be traveling for games all the time and I get that. Some people hire tutors for learning or do extra work with their kids that others dont. I would just focus on what you and your child like to do and what you think is best.
LOL, this is not a phenomenon limited to just sports. You won't believe the hoops parents go through for their musical/theater kids, or the ones in chess club, etc. You will find this "pressure" everywhere and it's up to you to decide whether you'll play the game.
My kids started out in rec soccer at age 5, but by the time they graduated high school, had each done a total of 3 different team sports over the years. Just because you have your kid in sport X doesn't mean he'll want to continue that for the next 10-15 years. Don't get me wrong, they enjoyed each sport while they played, but we never had that "you're in it for a scholarship" mentality.
I'd focus on 2 skills I see sorely lacking in young kids today: excellent swimming skills and knowing how to ride a bicycle safely. These will serve you well over a lifetime, not just during a couple of seasons.
Agreed. I'm not worried about sports "scholarships or pro". I just don't want him to feel left out because he's facing kids that have had private instruction since age 5. I see this in my little league (i live in a very big sports area). A lot of the kids in my little league go on to get private middle school/high school scholarships for sports.
I think the solution is focus more on the "rec leagues" as others have stated. And let him choose/develop on his own within sports. If he chooses to do so. otherwise continue to find things he may be truly interested in. He likes sports, he's just a little shy in the group activities area.
Fall behind in team sports? If the idea is for the child to have fun, what does it matter? Sure, there are super competitive private teams, and sure, your kid might not ever qualify for THAT...but there's always the city teams, that most kids can sign up with through school...and if your child decides he likes team sports, he learns all the good things about team building and working together, that he would've learned on an elite team, right?
Is your son an only child? Seems like, to me, only children take a little longer to 'adjust' to team sports, cause the idea of sharing and coordinating with other people is kind of foreign to them. And...that's assuming he's even going to be athletic. Who knows, he might be musically inclined instead, or want to build robots on robot teams.
If you seriously are OK with him NOT necessarily liking it, I would make it very clear to him that it's OK with YOU, if it's not his thing, and doesn't want to do it. He might be saying he likes it because he doesn't want to dissapoint his dad.
I laughed out loud when I read the sentences in bold. You either do not have children or they did not struggle with team sports. My son was on the local Little League and school soccer teams. Most of the kids in the school did both of these sports. He struggle both with playing and with the social aspect. He did not have fun. This were not travel teams. The worst part was hearing the discussions among the boys and parents about the travel leagues that my son was not selected. Your comments about learning "all the good things about team building and working together..." leads me to believe you never actually had these experiences.
My daughter started playing AAU basketball in 5th grade. It was not a friendly environment. It was very cutthroat. She struggled in the early years and sat the bench a lot. She stuck it out and years later was a started in both high school and college. She persevered because she had a high level of athletic ability. But even though I have no experience with musicals, I understand the competitive atmosphere is very similar.
And please, do not ever mention college scholarships in a discussion about a six year old, or an 8, 10, 0r 12 year old. The chance for a scholarship is so slim, that it is not worth thinking about, especially in sports other than football and basketball.
I laughed out loud when I read the sentences in bold. You either do not have children or they did not struggle with team sports. My son was on the local Little League and school soccer teams. Most of the kids in the school did both of these sports. He struggle both with playing and with the social aspect. He did not have fun. This were not travel teams. The worst part was hearing the discussions among the boys and parents about the travel leagues that my son was not selected. Your comments about learning "all the good things about team building and working together..." leads me to believe you never actually had these experiences.
My daughter started playing AAU basketball in 5th grade. It was not a friendly environment. It was very cutthroat. She struggled in the early years and sat the bench a lot. She stuck it out and years later was a started in both high school and college. She persevered because she had a high level of athletic ability. But even though I have no experience with musicals, I understand the competitive atmosphere is very similar.
And please, do not ever mention college scholarships in a discussion about a six year old, or an 8, 10, 0r 12 year old. The chance for a scholarship is so slim, that it is not worth thinking about, especially in sports other than football and basketball.
Seems like, even though you bolded it, you missed the part where I said "If the idea is for your child to have fun, what does it matter?" Sounds like your kids didn't have fun.
I had 2 boys. One started out with Tball, and then baseball and soccer, and he did it because it was fun. Of course, it helped that he was half way decent at it.
My youngest was DECIDEDLY not athletic, but he WAS musically inclined, so he took piano lessons for several years.
Seems like, even though you bolded it, you missed the part where I said "If the idea is for your child to have fun, what does it matter?" Sounds like your kids didn't have fun.
I had 2 boys. One started out with Tball, and then baseball and soccer, and he did it because it was fun. Of course, it helped that he was half way decent at it.
My youngest was DECIDEDLY not athletic, but he WAS musically inclined, so he took piano lessons for several years.
So yeah, I do know a little about the subject.
No, I didn't miss it. My point was that some kids are natural athletes at an early age. Most kids are not natural athletes and need to be pushed a little. At an early age, the natural athletes were having fun, the others not so much. It is no different than learning to read. My 7-year old granddaughter loves to read, it comes easy to her. If a child hates to read, are we wrong to push them to learn to read?
The problem we have today is the choice between organized sports and video games. When I was growing up in the 1960s/70s, we played sports in the street, in backyards, and on the playground. This is when kids could get involved at an older age and catch up. Today there are no neighborhood games. The reason is the majority of kids are at some organized activity. For the majority of kids today, if they don't get involved in sports by age 8, they likely never will.
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