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Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
end quote
One does not have to be religious or aspire to any particular religion, to learn from the wisdoms put forth in this book.
__________
When they child reaches the age where spanking ceases, then the discipline has to be to restrict that Childs liberties until that child learns the responsibility of having liberties.
No. The "rod" in this verse is the shepherd's guiding hook. The same "rod" used in "thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me" in the 23rd Psalm.
"Spare the rod, lose the lamb" is a more accurate translation. In other words, if you ignore your children and don't guide them, they will be adrift.
Nothing to do with beating sheep or children with sticks.
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 15 days ago)
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Here's the deal on corporal punishment.
It works in schools. Schools don't have all that much of a vested interest in the child feeling welcome, and secure and growing into a connected, secure adult. They want the kids to quit misbehaving in the classroom. Sit in your chair, and don't cause extra work for the teacher.
So with that mindset, paddling a child black and blue on the buttocks is a good idea, and it works. Having children fearful of the teacher, and the principals, that they will be hurt, creates compliant behavior. Awful as that is.
It's no way to raise a child, though. Parents need to be more thoughtful than just causing bruising as a way to short-term stop irritating behaviors.
No hitting. Spanking is hitting. Limits on un/acceptable behavior & boundaries can be established other ways. No always means no, not maybe. The root word for “discipline” is “disciple”, which originated from the Latin word “discipulus”, which means “student”. That means you are supposed to be teaching them, not hitting them.
Do your research and you will see that hitting a child is not an appropriate method of discipline. From a Harvard study: “Preschool and school age children — and even adults — [who have been] spanked are more likely to develop anxiety and depression disorders or have more difficulties engaging positively in schools and skills of regulation, which we know are necessary to be successful in educational settings."
Do your research and you will see that hitting a child is not an appropriate method of discipline. From a Harvard study: “Preschool and school age children — and even adults — [who have been] spanked are more likely to develop anxiety and depression disorders or have more difficulties engaging positively in schools and skills of regulation, which we know are necessary to be successful in educational settings."
There is all sorts of research on whether spanking is good or bad and it depends on the type of spanking one is talking about. I abhor anyone who beats a child but do not think a slap on the butt is going to damage a child.
I guess my opinion comes with age and seeing what has transpired in society since parents have been scolded and shamed if they spanked their child. I have seen a society where spanking was acceptable as a form of punishment to one where now we have children who have no respect for authority be it their parents or the law. Personally I want kids to be kids but know there are limits and consequences for their actions.
Controlled spanking by parents on kids too young to understand a verbal explanation is fine. What's wrong is when it's carried too far. A quick spanking reinforces what the parent told them.
Sounds like people are beginning to understand that an actual spanking is ok. The wrong part is if a parent is out of control and goes too far and, as some have said, actually beats a kid or strikes out and hits them. I include slapping a kid in going too far. I've never heard of spanking in school but that would definitely be wrong. If you can't control yourself, then just don't spank--try to do your best by talking to them or using some other form of punishment to show them that doing something wrong has negative consequences.
Do your research and you will see that hitting a child is not an appropriate method of discipline. From a Harvard study: “Preschool and school age children — and even adults — [who have been] spanked are more likely to develop anxiety and depression disorders or have more difficulties engaging positively in schools and skills of regulation, which we know are necessary to be successful in educational settings."
I edited to my earlier comment to condense it. This is what I had originally:
Childcare advice/studies go in and out of style.
When my kids were young, there were all sort of studies about yelling/screaming was as bad as physical abuse.
Well, these social scientists went to Italy to apply their theory of yelling/screaming = abuse. Why Italy? It's because Italian mothers frequently scream/yell at their kids. The scientists found these Italian children were not traumatized by what scientists labeled as abusive behavior. These Italian children experienced frequent screaming/yelling without any negative side effects. In fact, it reinforced their belief that their mothers loved them.
I wish the study was still available online. Instead, now the searches generated discussions the abusive affect of the silent treatment.
What situations did your Harvard study assume? Okay, what if spanking is done without anger, for clearly expressed reason which sets boundaries? It's a little bit of a different issue from an out of control, angry parents who spanking without explanation. Context is everything.
-It seems that both sides of the issue have been very clear in stating their opinion. The OP has received some good advice as regards the pro's and con's of spanking.
I don't want to see the thread break into fights, go downhill, resulting in infractions. (Which it's nearing...)
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