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That's true for everyone...? Everyone was a child once...? Why is it an added benefit if it applies to everyone?
It is unsullied by the pressures of parenthood. While it is true that everyone was once a child, often they forget that fact and especially when dealing with their own children. Many of the childfree are still very much children at heart because we have never had to "grow up and be responsible parents" ergo, our child-like thoughts and emotions are much closer to the surface than many other people's are.
I read the parenting thread and do sometimes comment. I do not have children. I am however 18 years older than my now 3 1/2 year old brother. I was in college when we got him, he was foster and now adopted, and I was home for the summer, my mother worked, so I was the one home everyday with him, I got up with him, fed him,changed him,played with him. My step dad is gone 5 days a week, so in a lot of ways I am basically like another parent. I do everything with my brother that a parent would do.
I just wanted to make the point that you can't assume that just because someone has siblings but not their own children that they do not understand what it means to be a parent. You don't have to give birth to a child to be a parent, or sometimes even be a parent to know about kids, and to be able to comment or give ideas. I love my brother as much as my mom and step-dad, and am just as involved with his life everyday.
I too had the answers to all parenting quandaries before I had children. It was amazing... my future children would NEVER act badly. No child of mine would cry past 8:00 at night, I simply would not allow it. I would not allow tantrums. I would not be one of those slacker moms who let their toddler watch tv, and I certainly knew enough about nutrition to know that kids should NOT ingest sugar or red food dye!
Yeah, then I grew up a bit and had kids. Real live breathing kids who emerged from my loins and drank my milk... and it's not the same as having a dog or watching your little brother as a child/teenager or being a kid once. Really. It takes becoming a parent to realize the difference, but once you are a parent, it's ludicrous to think that someone might think that babysitting someone else's kid is the same as raising your own.
Perfectley put, thats exactly how I was before I had children too! I thought my children will never throw temper tantrums, I didn't realise it came naturally when they hit the terrible two's.
Every time I see a parent trying to deal with a temper tantrum I think to myself, my little ones do that too.
Last edited by atlmburns; 09-18-2008 at 06:21 AM..
"Many of the childfree are still very much children at heart because we have never had to "grow up and be responsible parents" ergo, our child-like thoughts and emotions are much closer to the surface than many other people's are."
Good heavens, please do speak for yourself only!
Everyone *has to grow up." It comes with the territory of getting older, whether or not you marry, have kids, go to college, work, join the military, whatever.
I didn't like being a child, and have no desire to rerun it as a parent. I think I was a very grim child, and a somewhat playful adult, but play *as an adult,* not like some overgrown three-year-old.
I do think that this rush of fantatical unconditional love that *some* people describe for their kids is only a concept/suggestion to me. I do think many people, especially women, might well feel this. I think it's possible that I would have felt it, just as it's possible that I wouldn't have. Obviously, people must have children for other reasons, as they clearly state that they were taken by surprise by the fierce emotions.
I believe some people feel that way. I am willing to trust that I might (MIGHT) have missed out by missing that potential experience.
And the Republic will survive. You always miss one experience when having another. You can always assume that the missed experience would have been perfect for its type. etc.
I have absolutely no problem with people who aren't parents posting in the parenting forum. What I do have a problem with is the select few posters who come here occasionally with the specific intent of insulting parents and children for no apparent reason. These are the people who use words like "breeder" and "spawn". I'm sure some of you who have been on the parenting forum awhile know of some of the posters I'm referring to.
Oh yeah...Miss Child-free anti-breeder and anti-spawning hangs around...not much lately thank goodness.
I guess there are some people here who are yet to have children and are looking to see what it will be like for them sooner or later. I think I've read someone who was pregnant (a teen) and was contemplating adoption and/or abortion. They can benefit from reading and posting here to see the real deal.
There is NOT ONE person on here who was a parent since birth. We were all without children, yet we had them and LEARNED AS WE WENT ALONG.
So what that everyone posting here isn't a parent. Doesn't bother me a bit.
Unless you have fostered or taken in relatives' kids, as I have. Or cared for your siblings, as I have. Or taken in your relatives kids, as I have.
An 18 year old with a 2 year old sibling has learned things that most first-time parents don't know yet.
The problem with non-experienced people posting on here is that they do not know what they don't know.
Since they have not learned as they went along, they are literally fantasizing as they go along, then post the drivel on here, and occasionally insult real parents in the process.
I wish they would just shut up and respectfully read the posts and not share their views with us. That would be the honorable thing to do.
I read the parenting thread and do sometimes comment. I do not have children. I am however 18 years older than my now 3 1/2 year old brother. I was in college when we got him, he was foster and now adopted, and I was home for the summer, my mother worked, so I was the one home everyday with him, I got up with him, fed him,changed him,played with him. My step dad is gone 5 days a week, so in a lot of ways I am basically like another parent. I do everything with my brother that a parent would do.
I just wanted to make the point that you can't assume that just because someone has siblings but not their own children that they do not understand what it means to be a parent. You don't have to give birth to a child to be a parent, or sometimes even be a parent to know about kids, and to be able to comment or give ideas. I love my brother as much as my mom and step-dad, and am just as involved with his life everyday.
Thanks for your comments! I've been there, too.
A parent is a role that we assume, regardless of the situation.
I challege the childless posters on here to walk the talk and get involved in fostering kids.
Unless you have fostered or taken in relatives' kids, as I have. Or cared for your siblings, as I have. Or taken in your relatives kids, as I have.
An 18 year old with a 2 year old sibling has learned things that most first-time parents don't know yet.
The problem with non-experienced people posting on here is that they do not know what they don't know.
Since they have not learned as they went along, they are literally fantasizing as they go along, then post the drivel on here, and occasionally insult real parents in the process.
I wish they would just shut up and respectfully read the posts and not share their views with us. That would be the honorable thing to do.
Are you serious??? These threads are not exclusive to anybody. Everyone who has an opinion can participate. The honorable thing to do is respect EVERYONE's opinion.
REAL parents??? LOL, What exactly qualifies as a REAL parent? To have children? I know people who should NEVER have had children, and I know people who never had children who would make EXCELLENT parents.
Who are you to judge?
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I'm sure some of you who have been on the parenting forum awhile know of some of the posters I'm referring to. 
