dads [what would you do if your son told you he was gay] (support, parents)

[LEVOW]

I know if you havent been through this, you can eazily say, "id support him no matter what", but i think when it happens, its something really hard to come to grips with. My ex bro in law is gay, he must be 40/41, he came out when he was 18, and my punkass ex father in law has never accepted it, they have a horrible relationship cuz of this, their was numerous times, i had to seperate them because they were both ready to kill each other. I have a lil cousin, he hasnt come out yet, but everybody in the family suspects he is, which is fine, hes 23 and has never had a girlfriend, we accept it, but i dont think my uncle ever will. My uncle is a typical mexican macho man, used to play high school sports, built his own house, had alot of girls before he got married etc etc etc.., i think my cousin will remain in the closet and unhappy until my uncle either passes away or he moves out of el paso, this is sad! What do yall think, what would you do?

[Moth]

What do yall think, what would you do?

I would tell him to wear a rubber. Other than that, what the hell could I do about it?

[denverian]

This seems to be at least somewhat common in the Hispanic community - gay sons afraid to let their father's know. We have a friend who, at age 50, was terrified of his father finding out, so he stayed single and closeted until his father recently died. Now he's almost too old to come out, not understanding dating or relationships and being set in his ways, so he's still single. Kind of sad, really.

I think Hispanic familes tend to be closer so the fear of losing that bond is greater. I'm white, and I came out to my family years ago, really not caring what they thought. I'm not close to my family and if they disowned me, it would make no difference in my life.

[pitt_transplant]

I always thought it a bit perverted that a parent would care what an adult child does sexually behind closed doors. I could see it having its place back in the 80's when AIDS was though to be "gay cancer"
But now..come on...Some of my gay friends are more strait laced and better homes & gardens that the strait ones.

It disgusts me too that parents act like children are pets that should be only as they accept. Like the parent is exactly what the kids wants? I dont think so! And the kid didnt even get that choice. They just have to deal with you.

I would just worry to death that some stupid redneck would hurt them. I would try to get them to live in an area where they were safer and more accepted. Other than that....who cares.

[the one]

this topic was discussed a while ago.

this is what i said

"what would i say?
"lovely, now what do you plan on doing about it?"

then i dont think i would stop asking questions. give'em the 3rd degree. probe to be sure they truly felt of the homosexual persuasion. i wouldnt question them in order to dissuade them, but rather to have them solidify their beliefs.

they will unfortunately have to defend themselves from the world so i would try to strengthen them as much as possible.

i would still have the same expecations.

i dont think there are things straight people do that the gays cant.

i would not treat my children differently if they told me they like boys, girls or both. i would just make sure they had that confidence to face the world, but that begins from birth so i wouldnt be too worried.

i would never do anything to undermine them. especially not turn them out into the street.

that would defintely hurt them and possiblly set a bad example.

i would rather

bring them in closer to me
question them
make sure they new what lay ahead
work thru it

being a parent means loving with out CONDITION

lets all try that."

so thats what i would do.
deal with it. what else can i do?

why would i push my child away because fo something they have no control over.
seems like a waste to turn them out after so many years of investing in them. but thats just me.

[TNKY]

I wouldn't be happy about it, that's for sure. However, I would not dismiss my son over it either. I don't agree with homosexuality, but never will I in any way attack someone who is gay.

[Lucario]

I've been through it. It is very hard to deal with.

I told him I was not happy but that I would accept it and love him unconditionally. I also told him to get ready to put up with the problems he will face from homophobia.

His mother took it (and continues to take it) a lot harder than I do.

[LEVOW]

Originally Posted by Sunil's Dad

I've been through it. It is very hard to deal with.

I told him I was not happy but that I would accept it and love him unconditionally. I also told him to get ready to put up with the problems he will face from homophobia.

His mother took it (and continues to take it) a lot harder than I do.

wow sunils dad, i alwyas thought a dad would take it harder, well hang in there, im sure your son appreciates you being there for him!

[Lucario]

Originally Posted by LEVOW

wow sunils dad, i alwyas thought a dad would take it harder, well hang in there, im sure your son appreciates you being there for him!

Well. I had gone through it once before with my older brother.......so I was kinda ready for it by then.