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I did say maybe I was missing something there did I not ? i agree teachers and parents should want open communication . sorry you took my post the way wrong way it was intended . I was merely posing a ? to this person .
I didn't mean to come off so harsh. I just get frustated that so many parents here on CD seem to be looking to fight (not you specifically). I've been teaching for over 5 years and I've had only one conflict with a parent. When I explained the situation to her and my reasoning, she was fine. I've had a few other misunderstanding, but those were because the child lied to keep himself out of trouble. Like I said, my mission is to work with the parent(s).
To the OP, holding back a child is a serious thing. My opinion is don't hold the child back unless she basically learned nothing all year (which doesn't seem to be the case). Good luck and keep us posted.
I am sorry and maybe I am missing something here . Did you say you dont like parents confronting you about issues in the classroom ? if you did then I would have a problem with you and your principal . As long as my child was in your class and I needed to talk to you about something and you shut me out then I would rip my kid out of your class room as soon as I could . I dont think that your attitude is very good for a teacher to have concerning parents .
Ummmmm, not once did I ever say I didn't like a parent confronting issues in the classroom. Not once did I saw that I would shut a parent out. And...my attitude is great concerning parents.
Here's part of your quote: "The teacher then said that it was my daughter's responsibility to take the homework out the folder, and not hers! So my mom ripped into her."
Yep......it's your daughter's responsibility. Your mother didn't like that your daughter wasn't following the same expectations as all of the other children (I'm sure it is a class expectation, I even gather that from your post), and she "ripped" into her. That is uncalled for, unprofessional, and disrespectful. Therefore, if a parent was like that to me, they would not be allowed in my classroom. If I was like that to a parent.....a parent would try to have my job.
I don't quite understand what you do not understand.
I agree with the teacher. I have the same policy. I even send the notes home to parents at the beginning of the year. I also send notes home that at the beginning of the year I will assist them with this.....but it is their responsibility.
So, every morning, my children are to put their homework in the homework box. All of the kids are doing it. I even mention "good morning, make sure you take all of your homework, lunch money, and notes out of your folder before you do your morning work" each morning. On Friday I mention how it's the last day to turn in homework. I have children that do not do it, and it's March. This is a class expectation....we are not here as babysitters. And if a parent "ripped" into me for her daughter not following the practiced and tried routine and expectation that all of the OTHER children are following.......then that would be the last time that parent would be allowed in my classroom, and my principal would support that.
That makes sense, if you remind the children to take their homework and they still don't do it...then okay. Like I said, I'm not there...so I don't know the full story. But, I know if I repeatedly tell the whole class everyday to make sure to put their homework in the folder, and little Johnny still doesn't seem to get the concept; I would tell that child's parent. There might be some other problems at play. That's what my mom was upset about; the fact that the teacher let it go on for so long without making her aware of the situation.
I do believe no matter where you are while in the service, you have final say on your daughter's education and this does sound rather peculiar to me that they would make her repeat a grade with the information you have provided. Schedule a conference call with the teacher and your Mom if you can so there will be no misunderstanding as to what is going on. From what you say, your daughter's grades look good to me so I don't know what the issue could be. Someone has something mixed up it seems so you do need to call this teacher.
Good luck and thank you for serving our country!
Thank you, but I would have to concur that that is very, very untrue. Before I deployed, I had this whole mindset of what kind of parent I was going to be while deployed...how often I was going to talk to my kids, email, web cam, etc. It did not work out anyway that I figured. While my kids were with their dad for the first year, I received 5 pictures from their him (my 2nd month of deployment October 2007). I'm still waiting on a video dvd of them that he made for both of their birthdays sep/oct 2007. I didn't get another picture until April 2008; from my mom when she had them for Easter. I didn't even recognize them. I also found out that their hair was permed against my wishes also, but I didn't care because I was just happy to see what they looked like in present time. I think I showed that picture to everyone I knew and even the people that I didn't. After not having control for so long, you eventually just get lost within yourself. Long story short. I lost my say as soon as I left for Iraq.
I'd have to wander why she got those grades if she is behind. I'd be more worried about if she is indeed behind regardless of the grades.Something is wrong if she mnakes those grades and is behind on the reading level.I'd ask if there is a way of your communicating with the teacher thru the internet to discuss her observations.i won't leave it to my mother if I could help it;changing schools may just be a way of running fro a problem that could exist.
I did give my email address to her main teacher; and she's emailed me a few times. That's my main concern too. Her grades do not reflect bad performance. I also forgot to mention that it's just her reading teacher making the suggestion for her to be left back. She goes to an extra reading class at the school also...a form of tutoring. I had even asked the teacher if she could let me know where to purchase the book that the kids in the higher reading level use, so that she can start working on some of those stories on her own. I'm sure that some of it is my mom, and maybe she didn't give me any real info until she thought it was necessary. So I'm not trying to put the blame on anyone; I'm just trying to figure out the best solution for my daughter at this point.
Last edited by prtybrneyes; 03-21-2009 at 04:24 PM..
Ummmmm, not once did I ever say I didn't like a parent confronting issues in the classroom. Not once did I saw that I would shut a parent out. And...my attitude is great concerning parents.
Here's part of your quote: "The teacher then said that it was my daughter's responsibility to take the homework out the folder, and not hers! So my mom ripped into her."
Yep......it's your daughter's responsibility. Your mother didn't like that your daughter wasn't following the same expectations as all of the other children (I'm sure it is a class expectation, I even gather that from your post), and she "ripped" into her. That is uncalled for, unprofessional, and disrespectful. Therefore, if a parent was like that to me, they would not be allowed in my classroom. If I was like that to a parent.....a parent would try to have my job.
I don't quite understand what you do not understand.
I don't know if you're posting this to phonelady or to me. You added her comment to you, and my post together. So I don't know which one of us you are directing this to. As I put in my example in an earlier post. If a child in class continually does not turn in their homework into the folder; you are just going to say that the child doesn't want to and mark their homework as missing. I would think that any good teacher would bring it to the parents attention. Heck, maybe the child is going death or blind; they don't see or hear anything about the homework. I know I'm overly exaggerating. I know that if my daughter heard the teacher give a reminder about the homework; she would have turned the homework in. She does her homework every night. My mom ripped into the teacher because she grew concerned when she saw a week plus worth of homework in my daughter's folder. She grew angry because she thought the teacher should of at least alerted her that to the fact that my daughter's homework was not being turned in. She asked the teacher when was she going to bring it to her attention, or was she just going to keep marking it as not turned in. As I said, I'm not there. But, I'm sure something like this would make any parent upset. When my girls were in Germany with me; I made sure I checked their folder every day to see if there were any notes from the teacher and if there was any extra homework (something the girls forgot to tell me about). I've gotten notes from teachers before. So I think it was more of a common courtesy call. I think that we forget that sometimes, they are kids. Sometimes they forget. Adults forget all the time. I don't want anyone to give my daughter a pass, but I do want her to be treated fairly. She's just a first grader, and just a little girl. She's shy at times, and very sensitive. In these days, I thought teachers are trained to take all of that into account?
I don't know if you're posting this to phonelady or to me. You added her comment to you, and my post together. So I don't know which one of us you are directing this to. As I put in my example in an earlier post. If a child in class continually does not turn in their homework into the folder; you are just going to say that the child doesn't want to and mark their homework as missing. I would think that any good teacher would bring it to the parents attention. Heck, maybe the child is going death or blind; they don't see or hear anything about the homework. I know I'm overly exaggerating. I know that if my daughter heard the teacher give a reminder about the homework; she would have turned the homework in. She does her homework every night. My mom ripped into the teacher because she grew concerned when she saw a week plus worth of homework in my daughter's folder. She grew angry because she thought the teacher should of at least alerted her that to the fact that my daughter's homework was not being turned in. She asked the teacher when was she going to bring it to her attention, or was she just going to keep marking it as not turned in. As I said, I'm not there. But, I'm sure something like this would make any parent upset. When my girls were in Germany with me; I made sure I checked their folder every day to see if there were any notes from the teacher and if there was any extra homework (something the girls forgot to tell me about). I've gotten notes from teachers before. So I think it was more of a common courtesy call. I think that we forget that sometimes, they are kids. Sometimes they forget. Adults forget all the time. I don't want anyone to give my daughter a pass, but I do want her to be treated fairly. She's just a first grader, and just a little girl. She's shy at times, and very sensitive. In these days, I thought teachers are trained to take all of that into account?
I think I missed the whole homework thing. I believe that the issue was your mother yelling at the teacher. At least yelling is how I imagine that the teacher was "ripped a new one". Regardless of the issue, no parent (or guardian) should be screaming at the teacher. Like Mrs. Bewitched said, if a teacher were to go up to a parent and start yelling, the teacher would probably be fired. Why do some people think that it is okay to yell or even hit a teacher ?(you didn't say it, but someone in another thread did)
You're right that usually teachers will send a note or a phone call if they are not receiving the homework. I'm not exactly sure what the whole situation is. Just know that I wish you the best of luck and that your child has a productive school year. I really hope everything gets worked out.
I think I missed the whole homework thing. I believe that the issue was your mother yelling at the teacher. At least yelling is how I imagine that the teacher was "ripped a new one". Regardless of the issue, no parent (or guardian) should be screaming at the teacher. Like Mrs. Bewitched said, if a teacher were to go up to a parent and start yelling, the teacher would probably be fired. Why do some people think that it is okay to yell or even hit a teacher ?(you didn't say it, but someone in another thread did)
You're right that usually teachers will send a note or a phone call if they are not receiving the homework. I'm not exactly sure what the whole situation is. Just know that I wish you the best of luck and that your child has a productive school year. I really hope everything gets worked out.
Thank you, I'll keep everyone up to date with situation. I think I caused the misunderstanding. No screaming match, at least I hope not. With my mom, you never know. I think she just strongly voiced her dislike for the way the teacher handled the homework thing.
I won't be on here for a day or two. I'm flying back to the states tomorrow morning; PCSing. I'll check for any replies before I shut down the internet. I'll be back on whenever I get settled and find some decent internet. Thank you for all the replies and suggestions!
Best of luck - I'm sure your girls will be thrilled to see you!
Last edited by maciesmom; 03-21-2009 at 05:32 PM..
Reason: additional thought
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