Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-01-2009, 05:22 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,492 posts, read 3,224,915 times
Reputation: 1723

Advertisements

Yes. I would tell the mom.

Kids having a bit of a boozeup is one thing and the thing as a teen is 'dont get caught'

20 kids having a party in a suburban house with no adult supervision and alcohol is just asking for trouble. What happens next time when it gets crashed by 100 un invited kids.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-01-2009, 06:21 PM
 
5,747 posts, read 12,025,159 times
Reputation: 4511
I wouldn't tell her parents, but I would express concern to the young lady about her choices and the risks of hosting parties that involve underage drinking.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-01-2009, 06:33 PM
 
Location: Houston, Texas
1,668 posts, read 4,694,003 times
Reputation: 3037
I feel bad that you're in this position. How about sending an anonymous note to her Mom?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-01-2009, 06:54 PM
 
6,034 posts, read 10,658,774 times
Reputation: 3989
Not your business. Leave it be or you may find your house is the one getting egged, BB-gunned, vandalized, et cetera.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-01-2009, 07:00 PM
 
496 posts, read 1,691,001 times
Reputation: 315
Forget all of that "mind your own business" nonsense and step up to the plate and tell her mom. She may not like you for it but who cares. She's your neighbor and still a child so it is your business. Go for it and rat the sneaky little brat out!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-01-2009, 07:07 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
24,012 posts, read 28,379,095 times
Reputation: 41122
I would say it depends on how well you know the family and what you are 100% sure happened. Did you actually see what you absolutely know was a keg of beer and teens drinking? If I knew the family well, I might just say that you don't know all the circumstances but you thought parent to parent, they might want to be aware. That you would certainly want to know - you aren't making any judgements on the daughter but just concerned about any liability they might have if this were to continue in the future. But again, it would depend on a lot.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-01-2009, 07:08 PM
 
5,644 posts, read 13,193,083 times
Reputation: 14170
Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
I wouldn't tell her parents, but I would express concern to the young lady about her choices and the risks of hosting parties that involve underage drinking.
Why do some folks here have reservations about an "adult to adult" conversation letting another parent know what is going on yet have no trouble telling that same adult to go ahead and "parent" another child

Of course you should tell the mother what is up, as one other poster noted, what is your motivation NOT TO TELL?

Personally, I would want to know and would not have the slightest reservation letting a neighbor parent know the same information.

I thought we were well past the age of "harmless" drinking parties for teens.

teens drink, teens drive, teens die.....happens every day and I for one would not want to have to live with myself if something happened to a teen at the next keg party this teen has if the mother remains unaware....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-01-2009, 07:20 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
24,012 posts, read 28,379,095 times
Reputation: 41122
I think some of the hesitancy people feel is because you can't assume the parents are against this behavior unfortunately. I have high school kids and I know for a fact that some parents host these parties while they are home and help the kids avoid the police. I can't imagine why but it's true. Also, if you don't know the family, there certainly could be repercussions from both the teens and the parents. Sad but true.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-01-2009, 08:53 PM
 
47,525 posts, read 69,521,481 times
Reputation: 22472
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
I think some of the hesitancy people feel is because you can't assume the parents are against this behavior unfortunately. I have high school kids and I know for a fact that some parents host these parties while they are home and help the kids avoid the police. I can't imagine why but it's true. Also, if you don't know the family, there certainly could be repercussions from both the teens and the parents. Sad but true.

But I think that's all the more reason to tell the parents. If they're for this behavior, if they allow their kids to have alcoholic parties when they're away, they aren't going to care but if they don't want their house used in such a way they'll appreciate being informed.

It's their house, they have a right to know what goes on.

In this way Hillary's "It takes a Villlage to raise a kid" actually makes sense. It's easy to ignore wrong but problems can escalate when everyone pretends they know nothing, saw nothing, heard nothing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-01-2009, 08:54 PM
 
9,091 posts, read 19,164,915 times
Reputation: 6967
you can't live in fear of repercussions though

some kids were acting like jerks on the house diagonal from us on the shared lawn portion

i had my young neices and nephews over

i popped over the fence and asked them to please quiet down as i had little kids here - they gave me the teenage dirty looks .............. i'm pretty sure they shot my window with a BB gun right before they moved out

i'd still do the same exact thing

you can't let your neighborhood go to crap because you don't want to be an adult

it's all in the tact - no judgement, no anger, no nerves ....... just black and white and point out the potential liability

i don't know many people who would rather lose their homes paying for the liability from an accident in their home (say a kid got off balance and cracked their head on the countertop - let alone drinking and driving) just so they can shelter their kid from their neighbors or provide booze to them
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:02 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top