Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have a 15 year old teen son who I have raised as a single mother from the beginning.
I got a call from the school saying he was harassing a girl, cussing at her, telling her she was fat and ugly etc etc. Apparently he has been being mean to her for awhile. So I pick him up and tell him he was in trouble and asked him why he did that and he just went on saying girls are stupid and dumb and he has no respect for them.
I told him that was horrible he thought like that and told him he needs to have respect for girls and treat them right and he just shrugged his shoulders and said "whatever". He is of course grounded but I don't know where this came from. I want what is best for him but don't know where to go from here.
I feel like this is something you should have picked up on a while ago...this isn't new. While boys sometimes do go through a "woman hating" phase at this age, it shouldn't be a surprise he is doing this. I think a therapist would help you both. But I wonder if there is a way for you to spend more time with him
Sit him down and have a talk with him. Most teen boys go through a chauvinistic/misogynistic phase. Being a hormone-addled adolescent doesn't help.
Perhaps you can ask him if he is straight or gay. When he answers tell him that if you want to get along with 50% of the world population you need to understand and appreciate their differences. Next ask him if he hates you. Tell him you are a woman and you felt pain when boys would insult you and that your family does not do that to other people. Try to turn it around on him. What if he went to school and girls called him a wuss and pencil neck and gay or any other number of hurtful insults to boys. Try to tell him it is okay to be angry but not to be personal with your insults.
Family therapy.
Something like this just does not come out of the blue (unless drugs are involved?)... it has been fostered for a while.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Worriedmommy2
I have a 15 year old teen son who I have raised as a single mother from the beginning.
I got a call from the school saying he was harassing a girl, cussing at her, telling her she was fat and ugly etc etc. Apparently he has been being mean to her for awhile. So I pick him up and tell him he was in trouble and asked him why he did that and he just went on saying girls are stupid and dumb and he has no respect for them.
I told him that was horrible he thought like that and told him he needs to have respect for girls and treat them right and he just shrugged his shoulders and said "whatever". He is of course grounded but I don't know where this came from. I want what is best for him but don't know where to go from here.
I sure do feel for you..but as a single mom..I embedded the "Right and Wrong" of things..however, unfortunately "PEER PRESSURE" takes over..and kids get influenced by their views..and may often reflect THEIR views..Not yours. You need to stick to your guns,, be consistent and allow them to LEARN that such viewpoints aren't acceptable..and unless their experience was a personal one..check into that...I do suggest Counselling for sure..and also maybe find out just who he hangs out with..I'm sure the school and teachers could help you out with that information...Facebook comments by those or their siblings just may give an insight
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vacanegro
Sit him down and have a talk with him. Most teen boys go through a chauvinistic/misogynistic phase. Being a hormone-addled adolescent doesn't help.
Perhaps you can ask him if he is straight or gay. When he answers tell him that if you want to get along with 50% of the world population you need to understand and appreciate their differences. Next ask him if he hates you. Tell him you are a woman and you felt pain when boys would insult you and that your family does not do that to other people. Try to turn it around on him. What if he went to school and girls called him a wuss and pencil neck and gay or any other number of hurtful insults to boys. Try to tell him it is okay to be angry but not to be personal with your insults.
@15..He is going thru a whole new world, between hormonal, peer pressure amongst a very long list. Keep in touch with teachers and school..as a mother..you have every right to obtain such information...I recall back in the day having a coffee cup with my name on it!! Boys can be challenging !!
OP..I sure wish you luck..because this process will go on for many years..BUT being consistent is what's important ..Lay the Law down..make him account for whatever..IF makes mistake..make sure he learns from it..Not condemn him for it!! IF anyone doesn't learn..THEY are doomed to repeat it!!
After 30+ years..I am constantly seeing my persistence paid off..They have a conscience..and KNOW when they screwed up ..and They also realize they cannot always blame the other for their problem....SO YES..Be Consistent..but OP you road is just starting..use whatever venue you can to learn about you child's interactions, and seek help from wherever is available!!
I have a 15 year old teen son who I have raised as a single mother from the beginning.
I got a call from the school saying he was harassing a girl, cussing at her, telling her she was fat and ugly etc etc. Apparently he has been being mean to her for awhile. So I pick him up and tell him he was in trouble and asked him why he did that and he just went on saying girls are stupid and dumb and he has no respect for them.
I told him that was horrible he thought like that and told him he needs to have respect for girls and treat them right and he just shrugged his shoulders and said "whatever". He is of course grounded but I don't know where this came from. I want what is best for him but don't know where to go from here.
"Well, boy, that attitude pretty much guarantees that you'll get really good at choking your chicken. So since you hate women, I'm assuming you're gay, right? Congratulations on coming out. It takes guts though not as much guts as it once did. So when are you going to tell your friends?
"Oh, and when are you moving out? Because if you have no respect for me after all I've done to try and give you a decent life by myself, then you can go to hell. I'm a woman. And you will treat me with respect or you can go live in an alley."
"Well, boy, that attitude pretty much guarantees that you'll get really good at choking your chicken. So since you hate women, I'm assuming you're gay, right? Congratulations on coming out. It takes guts though not as much guts as it once did. So when are you going to tell your friends?
"Oh, and when are you moving out? Because if you have no respect for me after all I've done to try and give you a decent life by myself, then you can go to hell. I'm a woman. And you will treat me with respect or you can go live in an alley."
Yeach because making fun of him amd then threatening him will really get u far..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
