Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
lion..sorry i will be tough on you,but this is me and i like to talk my mind..
YES,LION YOUR SON HAS A PROBLEM A HUGE ONE!!you finally realized it!!please come out of teh dark,educate yourself,get informed...
only from reading your lines i can tell you,what your son has and i am seldom wrong..believe me,seldom...your son has a very STRONG VIDEO GAME ADDICTION..has it ever occured to you????get informed about addiction!!!!so many american parents are so clueless...your son is very addicted,he prefers his virtual life then the real life..you must act IMMEDIATELLY!!!!!!all the details,waht you gave hier,make me think to a strong video game addiction...he was ok,he was fine,then over the years is getting worse and worse..all the sign for an addiction..of course you should act FIANLLY..what did you do so many years..so long time...is is noormal for you that he plays for hours his game?????????????are you kidding me???CAN YOU REALLY NOT SEE THE PROBLEM????????YOU ARE THE PARENT!!!you must act..stop this addiction imediatelly...set boundaries,is not ok to play for hours games!!!NOT OK!!!
take action...read,get informed..DO NOT LIVE IN THE DARK!!!
do not run with him to a pshyhologue...i do not believe in american or german pshyhologues!!!be a parent,not a sissy,restricte his video game no matter what!!!...your house,your rules...you just sit there and look,how he destroy himself and do nothing????read a lot about video games addiction...usa i such a great country,offers so many ways to learn,get informed,free library..is soooo sad ,that so many people choose to live in the dark...when you give a child a computer or let him play video games,ACT LIKE A PARENT,control it...YOUR FAULT he plays for hours,your fault!!in my eyes you are absolutely to blame for not getting informed and educated...some parents i would really fire,they are a danger to their kids...they just allow their kids to ruin their life and healthy...read articles about addiction and effects on children..YOU WILL SEE YOUR CHILD IN IT AND YOUR SITUATION!!!!!!!!!!!...please stop live in the dark!!
such a good boy and you just ruin it,by not supervising porperly and not acting right...very sad...ACT BEFORE IS TOO LATE!!READ READ READ..GET INFORMED GET INFORMED..i repeat it tousand of time for american parents like you...search the net and library...smarten up..unacceptable that you exposed teh child this way!!HOURS VIDEOGAMES!!!us parents are great in such achievement!!
Last edited by Buburuza13; 04-09-2010 at 11:28 PM..
People like your son also seem to have a somewhat irrational view of the world. By that I mean they're basically afraid to venture out of their homes after 9PM.
Tell him to buck up. Otherwise he'll be living in your basement when he's 40.
Please don't make assumptions. I can agree with you over the issue of feeling safe outside the home, but I know he won't be living here when he's 40. He won't have that option. But in all seriousness, despite my son's social challenges, I know he will do well enough to leave the house and live on his own. The next challenge will be to drag him out of his own home.
While he does play an absurd amount of video games, it has not gotten in the way of his grades, which is most important to me. I did set restrictions on him and his brothers when they were younger, but he's 19 now. He's a mature, young adult. I'm not going to force him to cut back on something he enjoys. If he develops any sort of attitude or disrespect towards me, I would reconsider. But I raised him to be respectful and he has not disappointed me in that department. Can he be punk every now and then? Of course. He's a teenager. But most of the time he's mature and courteous.
Now, I will agree that video games and computers have certainly contributed to his "hermitness" (made up word), but I don't things would be much different without those forms of entertainment. He'd probably just read a lot more books or do something else creative that would keep him busy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buburuza13
lion..sorry i will be tough on you,but this is me and i like to talk my mind..
YES,LION YOUR SON HAS A PROBLEM A HUGE ONE!!you finally realized it!!please come out of teh dark,educate yourself,get informed...
only from reading your lines i can tell you,what your son has and i am seldom wrong..believe me,seldom...your son has a very STRONG VIDEO GAME ADDICTION..has it ever occured to you????get informed about addiction!!!!so many american parents are so clueless...your son is very addicted,he prefers his virtual life then the real life..you must act IMMEDIATELLY!!!!!!all the details,waht you gave hier,make me think to a strong video game addiction...he was ok,he was fine,then over the years is getting worse and worse..all the sign for an addiction..of course you should act FIANLLY..what did you do so many years..so long time...is is noormal for you that he plays for hours his game?????????????are you kidding me???CAN YOU REALLY NOT SEE THE PROBLEM????????YOU ARE THE PARENT!!!you must act..stop this addiction imediatelly...set boundaries,is not ok to play for hours games!!!NOT OK!!!
take action...read,get informed..DO NOT LIVE IN THE DARK!!!
do not run with him to a pshyhologue...i do not believe in american or german pshyhologues!!!be a parent,not a sissy,restricte his video game no matter what!!!...your house,your rules...you just sit there and look,how he destroy himself and do nothing????read a lot about video games addiction...usa i such a great country,offers so many ways to learn,get informed,free library..is soooo sad ,that so many people choose to live in the dark...when you give a child a computer or let him play video games,ACT LIKE A PARENT,control it...YOUR FAULT he plays for hours,your fault!!in my eyes you are absolutely to blame for not getting informed and educated...some parents i would really fire,they are a danger to their kids...they just allow their kids to ruin their life and healthy...read articles about addiction and effects on children..YOU WILL SEE YOUR CHILD IN IT AND YOUR SITUATION!!!!!!!!!!!...please stop live in the dark!!
such a good boy and you just ruin it,by not supervising porperly and not acting right...very sad...ACT BEFORE IS TOO LATE!!READ READ READ..GET INFORMED GET INFORMED..i repeat it tousand of time for american parents like you...search the net and library...smarten up..unacceptable that you exposed teh child this way!!HOURS VIDEOGAMES!!!us parents are great in such achievement!!
HONESTLY as someone who just turned 20. From personal experience 19/20 is a weird age. You lose touch with almost everyone from highschool and your good friends move away for school. Thats probably what happened. Its the exact same thing that happened to me, I went to university a stones throw from my house while all my really close highschool friends moved to like 100 miles away. So i was alone for a good part of the year and than in the summers we would only hang out occasionally. Luckily some of my closest childhood friends went to a different highschool in a neighboring town and didnt leave so i still get to hang out with them all the time. But yea, i feel bad for the kid. Nothing you can do. Give it time. He'll make friends at work or school soon enough.
Just my opinion, but if he has enough time to play video games for hours on end he has enough time for a job. After I graduated high school my parents did not allow such things. I was either studying, helping them about the house/yard, or working. "Entertainment" was an earned priviledge, not a right. At age 19 I was too tired at the end of the day to watch tv without falling asleep in 15 min.
Just my opinion, but if he has enough time to play video games for hours on end he has enough time for a job. After I graduated high school my parents did not allow such things. I was either studying, helping them about the house/yard, or working. "Entertainment" was an earned priviledge, not a right. At age 19 I was too tired at the end of the day to watch tv without falling asleep in 15 min.
Her son has a job and he attends college. Her point is that he choses to play video games over socializing when he's not at school or work.
lion..sorry i will be tough on you,but this is me and i like to talk my mind..
YES,LION YOUR SON HAS A PROBLEM A HUGE ONE!!you finally realized it!!please come out of teh dark,educate yourself,get informed...
only from reading your lines i can tell you,what your son has and i am seldom wrong..believe me,seldom...your son has a very STRONG VIDEO GAME ADDICTION..has it ever occured to you????get informed about addiction!!!!so many american parents are so clueless...your son is very addicted,he prefers his virtual life then the real life..you must act IMMEDIATELLY!!!!!!all the details,waht you gave hier,make me think to a strong video game addiction...he was ok,he was fine,then over the years is getting worse and worse..all the sign for an addiction..of course you should act FIANLLY..what did you do so many years..so long time...is is noormal for you that he plays for hours his game?????????????are you kidding me???CAN YOU REALLY NOT SEE THE PROBLEM????????YOU ARE THE PARENT!!!you must act..stop this addiction imediatelly...set boundaries,is not ok to play for hours games!!!NOT OK!!!
take action...read,get informed..DO NOT LIVE IN THE DARK!!!
do not run with him to a pshyhologue...i do not believe in american or german pshyhologues!!!be a parent,not a sissy,restricte his video game no matter what!!!...your house,your rules...you just sit there and look,how he destroy himself and do nothing????read a lot about video games addiction...usa i such a great country,offers so many ways to learn,get informed,free library..is soooo sad ,that so many people choose to live in the dark...when you give a child a computer or let him play video games,ACT LIKE A PARENT,control it...YOUR FAULT he plays for hours,your fault!!in my eyes you are absolutely to blame for not getting informed and educated...some parents i would really fire,they are a danger to their kids...they just allow their kids to ruin their life and healthy...read articles about addiction and effects on children..YOU WILL SEE YOUR CHILD IN IT AND YOUR SITUATION!!!!!!!!!!!...please stop live in the dark!!
such a good boy and you just ruin it,by not supervising porperly and not acting right...very sad...ACT BEFORE IS TOO LATE!!READ READ READ..GET INFORMED GET INFORMED..i repeat it tousand of time for american parents like you...search the net and library...smarten up..unacceptable that you exposed teh child this way!!HOURS VIDEOGAMES!!!us parents are great in such achievement!!
I've found some interesting information about introverts and extroverts.
That was interesting information. I remember that one of my grad school professors said that introverts get their energy from being alone and extroverts receive theirs from being with others. A little simple but it seems likely. And apparently introverts are outnumbered 3 to 1 society so it would appear that there would be more pressure around them to be gregarious and social.
We took a class years ago about teenagers when our kids were that age. One of the lecturers stated that most teenagers are ineffective in preventing depression because they don't realize how closely it's related to how much time they spend with people and how much time they spend alone. Each person has a different need in regard to "time balance," as he put it. Many people find they spend too much time with others to the point of social saturation and end up feeling drained....but they either don't have the ability to determine when they've had enough or they don't feel comfortable letting those around them know that they prefer less socializing.
Lions, your son sounds as if he's able to figure out much of what makes him happy in that regard. That takes a degree of emotional maturity for a 19 year old.
My son is 19 years old and is currently attending community college, so he's still living at home full time. He has good grades and has always been a good kid. Very intelligent, I might add. He works full time during the summer and part time during the winter. So really, I should have nothing to complain about. But there are some things about him that I find very concerning. Most of it involves social life/friends, his overall view towards people, and his lifestyle.
Throughout high school and even earlier he never had a very active social life. He rarely hangs out with anyone. He could easily go a few months without hanging out with any of his friends (the few that he has). He was involved in a couple activities during high school which kept him busy, but now he doesn't do anything. Should I be concerned about his lack of a social life? He doesn't have the greatest social skills in the world, but he is polite and can hold a conversation. But he can come off as very awkward at times. And sometimes he does get a bit nervous at large social gatherings. I can see how uncomfortable he is. Usually he gets over it, but I know he's grateful when we leave (whether it's a wedding or party).
Another thing that I'm worried about is his overall view towards people. I wouldn't say he's misanthropic, however, everytime he comes home from work, all he can talk about is how much he can't stand dealing with the customers. He basically wants to lock himself in his bedroom for the rest of the night. On days when he's not at work or school, all he does is stay in his room, playing on his computer/video games for hours, watching tons of tv and movies, or reading books. Of course I don't object to him reading books, but it takes a lot of effort to drag him out of his room. It's like his own little bubble that he never wants to leave. Heck, the only time we see him is when he comes down to grab a bite to eat or to shower. He has a car, but usually only uses it for work or school. In a nutshell, he rarely goes out! And I'm not just taking about hanging out with friends...he can goes days without leaving the house.
I'm sure you all will think I'm crazy for complaining about a son that rarely causes any trouble. I'm not looking for something to complain out. I'm genuinely concerned about his introverted/shy personality and lifestyle. I just don't want him to regret his teen/young adult life. What should I do? Is there anything I can do?
I'm the same age as your son and I can relate exactly to your post. I like being alone most of the time and reflecting on my thoughts. I'm in the Army NG and go to school full time so if I feel the need to socialize or talk to people I do.
I've always just had one or two good friends that I can relate to and depend on. I don't roll with a bunch of people to feel popular or important, thats not me.
If your really concerned that he is not socialzing with others then suggest that you and him join an extracurricular activity (karate, soccer, swimming, etc).
Well I hope I helped some. Your son is fine. People like him and I are just to cool for school.
Just my opinion, but if he has enough time to play video games for hours on end he has enough time for a job. After I graduated high school my parents did not allow such things. I was either studying, helping them about the house/yard, or working. "Entertainment" was an earned priviledge, not a right. At age 19 I was too tired at the end of the day to watch tv without falling asleep in 15 min.
He works at a seasonal resort. I guess he could work during the off season, but quite frankly, I'd rather him focus on his school work. He banks enough money to "live off of" during the off season.
During the summer he often works full days, usually around 9 hours. He comes home, takes a shower, eats dinner, and collapses in his bed pretty much. Whenever he's home, he does do chores, i.e taking care of the dog, loading/unloading the dishwasher, collecting firewood, etc.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
But in all seriousness, despite my son's social challenges, I know he will do well enough to leave the house and live on his own. The next challenge will be to drag him out of his own home. 
