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I know this is a parenting forum and all but maybe one of your kids went through this or maybe one of you went through it when you were a young adult etc...
I had this friend lets call him Brandon and we were friends up until the first of April. Our friendship had been slowly declining before then and we had been fighting a lot. I am more laid back and goofy and he is more strict and serious. We all used to hang out in this group of 4, me him and two other guys lets call them Dillon and Michael. When we would hang out, I'd be my usual self. Loud, goofy, rambunctious and an over all a fun person to be around, Michael and I are exactly alike, always coming up with some sort of shenanigans(innocent fun shenanigans) and Dillon was like us but more tame, you could say Brandon was the black sheep of the bunch.
Like I said, I could be my usual self, and Brandon would be pissed at me for it. He would get moody and pissy and usually leave and go home early. Or if I was having a "crisis" at home which happened often, he would get pissed and moody about that too. We've all each been police explorers at sometime or another, me and Michael are the only current explorers of the group, so its in our nature to help people and solve family fights. Of course, a lot of us will be dealing with helping people everyday for our job. Which leads me to believe Brandon will not make a good cop.
Well all that lead to fights and what not and us not talking for a week in March. and finally he apologized to me for what had gone on and how he had been treating me etc.
Fast forward to April 1st. He had gone home around 11 and it was about 1am and I was still with the rest of the group plus one other guy. We found some "danger tape", like caution tape but red and said danger...well hes been in 4 accidents, so we went and wrapped his car up in it.
Next morning he wakes up to his mom saying shes gonna call the cops etc and she ended up calling the cops and he didn't name names and he called up my supervisor and told her what I did.
Well this ended up getting me into a lot of trouble. I can't do any events between now and July 6th, meaning I miss all the big events and I don't get to do them next year because I age out of explorers in December, basically this whole year is ruined for me. I made a mistake, I should have used better judgment and not done what I did but I mean you never expect to do that and then the person turn around and basically ruin you.
Then he and his mom start making threats about how they could keep me from becoming an officer. They could "ruin my career" and "ruin my life" and how they SHOULD do so. Even my supervisor agreed, cops play pranks on each other and told him to get over it.
Well its now May and 2 weeks back he texted me, wanting to make things better between us and become friends again, while I am just fine never speaking to him again. He wanted me to forgive him and for me to "talk with god and find it within me to forgive him".....I am NOT religious at all and flat out told him I don't believe in forgiving people when they do bad and hurtful things, (yet hes the type of person who would forgive someone for brutally murdering his own mother, I asked him that specifically). I said I don't believe in it and not to push the religion stuff on me. I told him I will probably never forgive him and that I will never trust him but we can hang out again but we will never be where we once were. I am not a fool to trust him again.
Just the other night, I accidentally embarrassed Michael at a huge explorer dinner with a funny yet awkward photo of him taken during our training. He was pretty angry at me, basically told me we were not friends and that he didn't want to talk to him. He was hanging out with my brother the next night and Brandon was with as well. They were over at my house and Michael told my mom that he didn't mean to hurt me with the things he said and that he was just embarrassed and that he wasn't all that angry about it after all and after a night of awkwardness my mom finally pulled me and Michael into the garage, and I broke down crying, apologized and he gave me a huge hug and it was all good.
Now Brandon is pissed about all this. I "hurt" Michael and he forgave me and I am a stone cold 20 year old who doesn't know how to forgive. To me it happens with friends, you guys take pictures together and sometimes you have pictures with your friends doing embarrassing things and that they get shown and its never malicious or vindictive or spiteful but threatening to ruin someone's life is, threatening to ruin the one job they are good at is down right horrible, something I don't deem forgivable.
He's back at it again. The drama starting text messages, the treating me like crap, the for lack of a better term "sh|tstarting" that's exactly what it is. He's going around starting crap, trying to get others pissed off at me and being a vile bottom feeding urchin..
I want to nip this in the bud. I want this to stop. I want him to sthu to MY friends, I don't want a word good or bad about me to be uttered from his mouth as long as he lives. I want to be left alone until he can be civil and act like an adult and behave like one.
My brother is still friends with him, so therefore he comes over to our house. We ALL get together and play airsoft on a mutual friends property. So we need to work this out to a civil point.
Wait...you guys are in your late teens, early 20's? Realize that you have graduated from middle/high school and this is real life, not the Law Enforcement Explorers version of the Gilmore Girls.
Whatever...just realize that there will always be some people you can't get along with and call it a day. You really have two choices:
1. Do what most guys would do, settle your disagreement with a good old fashioned fist fight. You will be surprised how quickly things work themselves out after some punches.
2. Just talk to him and tell him you guys don't see eye-to-eye, but that shouldn't preclude you from being civil with each other. You have your reasons, he has his, let's just move on.
I seriously think you need to move past the drama and maybe take some time away from each other and just make a conscious effort to not be together. Some time apart will numb the issues and either help you move past it or realize that you really aren't good friends and therefore not worth each others time and aggravation.
***
However, after re-reading it and looking at your name, I'm thinking your a girl. In that case all of this is happening because Brandon wants to sleep with you and doesn't understand why you don't love him the way he loves you.
I know this is a parenting forum and all but maybe one of your kids went through this or maybe one of you went through it when you were a young adult etc...
I had this friend lets call him Brandon and we were friends up until the first of April. Our friendship had been slowly declining before then and we had been fighting a lot. I am more laid back and goofy and he is more strict and serious. We all used to hang out in this group of 4, me him and two other guys lets call them Dillon and Michael. When we would hang out, I'd be my usual self. Loud, goofy, rambunctious and an over all a fun person to be around, Michael and I are exactly alike, always coming up with some sort of shenanigans(innocent fun shenanigans) and Dillon was like us but more tame, you could say Brandon was the black sheep of the bunch.
Like I said, I could be my usual self, and Brandon would be pissed at me for it. He would get moody and pissy and usually leave and go home early. Or if I was having a "crisis" at home which happened often, he would get pissed and moody about that too. We've all each been police explorers at sometime or another, me and Michael are the only current explorers of the group, so its in our nature to help people and solve family fights. Of course, a lot of us will be dealing with helping people everyday for our job. Which leads me to believe Brandon will not make a good cop.
Well all that lead to fights and what not and us not talking for a week in March. and finally he apologized to me for what had gone on and how he had been treating me etc.
Fast forward to April 1st. He had gone home around 11 and it was about 1am and I was still with the rest of the group plus one other guy. We found some "danger tape", like caution tape but red and said danger...well hes been in 4 accidents, so we went and wrapped his car up in it.
Next morning he wakes up to his mom saying shes gonna call the cops etc and she ended up calling the cops and he didn't name names and he called up my supervisor and told her what I did.
Well this ended up getting me into a lot of trouble. I can't do any events between now and July 6th, meaning I miss all the big events and I don't get to do them next year because I age out of explorers in December, basically this whole year is ruined for me. I made a mistake, I should have used better judgment and not done what I did but I mean you never expect to do that and then the person turn around and basically ruin you.
Then he and his mom start making threats about how they could keep me from becoming an officer. They could "ruin my career" and "ruin my life" and how they SHOULD do so. Even my supervisor agreed, cops play pranks on each other and told him to get over it.
Well its now May and 2 weeks back he texted me, wanting to make things better between us and become friends again, while I am just fine never speaking to him again. He wanted me to forgive him and for me to "talk with god and find it within me to forgive him".....I am NOT religious at all and flat out told him I don't believe in forgiving people when they do bad and hurtful things, (yet hes the type of person who would forgive someone for brutally murdering his own mother, I asked him that specifically). I said I don't believe in it and not to push the religion stuff on me. I told him I will probably never forgive him and that I will never trust him but we can hang out again but we will never be where we once were. I am not a fool to trust him again.
Just the other night, I accidentally embarrassed Michael at a huge explorer dinner with a funny yet awkward photo of him taken during our training. He was pretty angry at me, basically told me we were not friends and that he didn't want to talk to him. He was hanging out with my brother the next night and Brandon was with as well. They were over at my house and Michael told my mom that he didn't mean to hurt me with the things he said and that he was just embarrassed and that he wasn't all that angry about it after all and after a night of awkwardness my mom finally pulled me and Michael into the garage, and I broke down crying, apologized and he gave me a huge hug and it was all good.
Now Brandon is pissed about all this. I "hurt" Michael and he forgave me and I am a stone cold 20 year old who doesn't know how to forgive. To me it happens with friends, you guys take pictures together and sometimes you have pictures with your friends doing embarrassing things and that they get shown and its never malicious or vindictive or spiteful but threatening to ruin someone's life is, threatening to ruin the one job they are good at is down right horrible, something I don't deem forgivable.
He's back at it again. The drama starting text messages, the treating me like crap, the for lack of a better term "sh|tstarting" that's exactly what it is. He's going around starting crap, trying to get others pissed off at me and being a vile bottom feeding urchin..
I want to nip this in the bud. I want this to stop. I want him to sthu to MY friends, I don't want a word good or bad about me to be uttered from his mouth as long as he lives. I want to be left alone until he can be civil and act like an adult and behave like one.
My brother is still friends with him, so therefore he comes over to our house. We ALL get together and play airsoft on a mutual friends property. So we need to work this out to a civil point.
What do I do?
Just keep your distance from Brandon - he's either really jealous that he can't have you as a girlfriend, or he's just jealous of who you are that he's not.
Either way, he has nothing of value to offer to you. Be polite when you see him, but don't hang out with him and don't engage him in any type of conversation if you do run in to him - just remove yourself from his presence as quickly as you are able.
Just keep your distance from Brandon - he's either really jealous that he can't have you as a girlfriend, or he's just jealous of who you are that he's not.
Either way, he has nothing of value to offer to you. Be polite when you see him, but don't hang out with him and don't engage him in any type of conversation if you do run in to him - just remove yourself from his presence as quickly as you are able.
Thanks...
And I do keep my distance, I don't talk to him yet he's still starting crap with me...
I'm thinking this fist fight idea might be a good idea...I bet I would win...
okay... you're all young. That is evident in y'all's behavior. This is the real world. If Brandon is the type of person who will throw a fit over having danger banners on his car, then don't put them on his car. If Michael would be embarrassed enough to "not want to be friends" and you value his friendship, do not show such photographs.
You are going to find that what you see as funny and a prank as a teenager will become criminal mischief as an adult.
You remind me of my daughter, someone who is also loud, goofy and rambunctious...and not very good at knowing where to draw the line when it comes to other people. Basically, you need to reel yourself in a bit. That's long term advice. As far as your current situation goes all I can tell you is that the more you try to "fix" things by telling people your side of the story or trying to do damage control, the bigger mess you are going to make. Once you get a reputation as a "drama queen" you won't easily shake it. I suggest you lay low, keep your nose to the grindstone, and don't speak of it to anyone. Try to act mature and professional even if it's against your nature. You are going to have to do that if you ever want to be in law enforcement anyway.
I suggest you lay low, keep your nose to the grindstone, and don't speak of it to anyone. Try to act mature and professional even if it's against your nature. You are going to have to do that if you ever want to be in law enforcement anyway.
This. If you want to be taken seriously as a future officer, you need to start behaving like you take the job seriously. I understand that "cops play pranks" but....you aren't a cop. When you are, and have been there long enough for people to know you know your job, THEN you can decide when and whether to prank people. Until then,you are making an impression about how you handle situations. Sounds like a lot of drama, drama, drama yet. You aren't in high school anymore.
It sounds like you make a habit of stepping over the line and embarrassing people when you are joking around. That's probably why Brandon gets mad at you. People don't like to feel humiliated in front of others. Some people can handle it better than others, but that doesn't mean that it's okay to humiliate people. And now you've humiliated Michael with the photo. Lord knows how many people you humiliate and don't know about!
You really have NO RIGHT to be made at Brandon for telling who did it to his car. Brandon isn't the person who should have been calling to apologize to you. YOU should have been apologizing to HIM. This isn't high school. This a very serious career you are pursuing.
It's time to mature and treat people like adults. It's okay to joke around, but not at the expense of others. And it's only okay to joke around in the proper atmosphere, not publicly humiliating people. And it's never okay to pull a prank that breaks the law. That tape on the car was vandalism.
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