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A woman divorcing me would take half my assets and (if I have a kid) force me to pay for something monthly I'd rather trade my rights away for. That would not make me happier at all, it would ruin me.
Not me. I stopped working two months before my wife and I got married. Every year, my wife half-jokingly says I out earn her. How? Because half of her quarter million dollar salary is split between the two of us, AND I had about a quarter million dollars of assets that existed before we got married that is not considered community property.
If we were to divorce, she could not afford to buy me out for the value of our house. I would leave with a net worth of $600K and she would only have $300K. I haven't worked in 8 years and have managed our money through passive income, while she has worked the equivalent of 70 hours a week. But that will likely never happen, we're happy, have been together for 17 years, and she truly is one of a kind.
- nice newer car plus keeping it looking good inside and out
- nice clothing, shoes, haircuts, skin care, cologne, etc
- gym membership (to stay fit and meet people)/healthy diet/fitness supplements
- nice apartment or house (a lot of women do care) plus all related expenses
- paying for dates which could easily run $500+/month (figure maybe 3-4 dates per month)
- traveling, boats, hobbies, etc (many women don't want a boring guy)
All of that can add up to a fortune and I see a lot of attractive females that expect or prefer men who have all that. A decently attractive female on the other hand can more often get by just keeping her appearance nice (I see MANY more women dating up the social/economical ladder).
A lot of the married men I know (especially when kids are involved) often live a totally different life...drive a beater, wear whatever, rarely take the wife on dates, let the belly bulge, share living expenses, etc. Granted, a lot of married women aren't the sexy little things they used to be either.
A woman divorcing me would take half my assets and (if I have a kid) force me to pay for something monthly I'd rather trade my rights away for. That would not make me happier at all, it would ruin me.
There are only 9 community property states.
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There are nine community property states: Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin. Alaska is an opt-in community property state that gives both parties the option to make their property community property.
California always seems to be on lists of states with something bad....
In any case, if you're not in one of those states, you only split in a divorce what has been accumulated since the marriage. Usually marriage happens during prime earning years - that's why divorces are expensive.
- nice newer car plus keeping it looking good inside and out
- nice clothing, shoes, haircuts, skin care, cologne, etc
- gym membership (to stay fit and meet people)/healthy diet/fitness supplements
- nice apartment or house (a lot of women do care) plus all related expenses
- paying for dates which could easily run $500+/month (figure maybe 3-4 dates per month)
- traveling, boats, hobbies, etc (many women don't want a boring guy)
All of that can add up to a fortune and I see a lot of attractive females that expect or prefer men who have all that. A decently attractive female on the other hand can more often get by just keeping her appearance nice (I see MANY more women dating up the social/economical ladder).
A lot of the married men I know (especially when kids are involved) often live a totally different life...drive a beater, wear whatever, rarely take the wife on dates, let the belly bulge, share living expenses, etc. Granted, a lot of married women aren't the sexy little things they used to be either.
Yeah, pretty much that. You can definitely date on the cheap too, but don't expect them to be smart, intelligent, cute/sexy and easy to get along with. A man would have to give up one of those characteristics of his potential dating partners if he's not checking the boxes of that list you posted.
I am a woman and I spend more when dating than when not dating. My boyfriend however spends a lot more because he's old fashion and insists on paying for everything. I don't ask or expect him to spend what he does, it's all his choice. He says he enjoys it. Where I spend more money dating vs not dating are things like boarding my dog when we are out of town or buying more groceries for when I cook for him. That sort of thing. It's not a lot but it's more.
My point is everyone spends more while dating although men probably spend more if they are the old fashion type.
That said it doesn't effect my saving and it doesn't effect my boyfriend's saving. The key is to make saving a "bill" like any other bill you have to pay. Save that amount each month, no exceptions. Consider that money spent. Dating money should come out of discretionary monies.
Not me. I stopped working two months before my wife and I got married. Every year, my wife half-jokingly says I out earn her. How? Because half of her quarter million dollar salary is split between the two of us, AND I had about a quarter million dollars of assets that existed before we got married that is not considered community property.
If we were to divorce, she could not afford to buy me out for the value of our house. I would leave with a net worth of $600K and she would only have $300K. I haven't worked in 8 years and have managed our money through passive income, while she has worked the equivalent of 70 hours a week. But that will likely never happen, we're happy, have been together for 17 years, and she truly is one of a kind.
Yeah not all states count previously acquired assets as independent. They count that as communal here so I'll drop the soap in family court. Not taking the risk. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
When I was single I rented out a room and he paid a share of utilities.
So honestly I had more money and dated a few times a month. Many women these days are making good money and if they offered to pick up a tab now and then, I'd let them.
When I was single I rented out a room and he paid a share of utilities.
So honestly I had more money and dated a few times a month. Many women these days are making good money and if they offered to pick up a tab now and then, I'd let them.
... overall, over a lifetime, it costs more to be a woman than a man ...So while dating costs men more, just being a woman costs women more. ...
It stands to reason that it's more expensive for women to maintain their physical appearance, wardrobe and so forth, than it is for men. This holds whether preparing for dates, or for general life, such as workplace decorum or just personal dignity when out and about. But it is also possible to give up, especially later in life, where one withdraws from the dating-scene, withdraws from the social-scene, and takes for granted that one's workplace reputation renders it possible to look slovenly and unkempt, without suffering deleterious consequences.
Not even counting raising kids, I don't see a great deal of savings for two people living together. We save some on housing, but I am not sure how much. ...
It costs less than twice that of one meal, to prepare two meals. It takes less that twice the time to wash one set of dishes, to wash two. These are trifling (but ubiquitous) economies of scale. Living as a couple, or even better - as an extended family - allows for specialization and bulk-savings.
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Originally Posted by ChiGuy2.5
When you have a girlfriend you have to buy Christmas and Birthday Gifts.
Having no family (nuclear or extended), and no close local friends outside of the workplace, the Christmas/birthday budget is very modest. But whenever I happen to have a girlfriend, and attain at least glancing connection to her family, suddenly I become enmeshed in her family-network, with concomitant responsibilities to participate in gift-exchanges, holiday dinners and the like. Though I prefer the social interactions to my normal solitary routine, it is true that these interactions do increase costs.
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Originally Posted by TMBGBlueCanary
...Who are these guys going around marrying women with no assets and no job? If you marry someone who is pretty much your equal, then when you marry, you double your income and assets. If you happen to divorce, things are split and you just go back to where you were before. ...
A marriage of equals is of course best, but it is harder to do for a wealthier person, especially for a miserly person with a high net-worth but lower-class tastes/manners, poor social skills and paucity of social connections. It's especially hard for top-tier earners/investors living in lower-cost-of-living areas, where good jobs are scarce, and where they lack a peer-group (male or female).
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