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I agree that finances should discussed more openly. But I am more comfortable talking about the subject in a generic sort of way, less specific.
Plus, my family is not particularly high income, nor great with money. Nor do they have jobs in accounting or finance or anything that would be relevant to a financial discussion.
The lack of discussion on the topic probably contributes to this
Isn't that what a personal finance forum is for? To get money advice? Nobody's feelings are getting hurt because we're all anonymous. If someone is too rich and you are insulted by that then just don't read their post. Simple.
If someone is too rich and you are insulted by that then just don't read their post. Simple.
And probably more important: if someone is a jerk about money (either snobbish because they earn a lot, or resentful and acting entitled to yours because they don't earn as much), drop them from your life as much as possible. Life's too short to waste hanging around negative people!
I was the POA for my mom and my elderly aunt and needed to know their finances.
And I think a lot more adult children should know the finances of their parents. Try caregiving for a loved one and not knowing or managing their finances…... so you can know what services they can afford or qualify for.
Trust me, you don't want to be shocked to find out your parents need an aide to help them out two days a week, but they're broke or deep in debt. Did you know that many states have filial responsibility laws that can make you responsible for your parents welfare/care or debts?
I manage all my mother's affairs. She has severe short term memory loss and couldn't possibly handle any of it herself. I'm power of attorney and have given copies of that document to all her banking and income sources. I pay all her assisted living bills.
My mom is in Rhode Island. I just skimmed their law. As I read it, a nursing home can chase me for unpaid bills. Potentially, that is an enormous liability if she out-lives her remaining assets. I'm paying cash under the table for some services for her. I need to stop doing that before I hit the Medicaid lookback window. 15-10-8 40-5-13
The lack of discussion in the area of personal finance breeds ignorance and drives bad decisions. I don't speak publcily about my finances but in smaller groups of friends or aquantances I will. Conversation sparks questions, discovery and often times education that can only be of benefit. I don't see why there would be a problem with people knowing what you make and the reverse, to me it has had zero negative impact. I've found most people are surprised when they find out how much my wife and I make because they assume we make a lot more than we do. When folks find out they get curious how we can afford to travel so much and save as much money as we do.
That's what is so great about the interwebs. You can have these discussions with others without it being considered "rude". I actually have a website where i not only track my spending, but also my networth monthly. I think it's extremely important to monitor this, just as you monitor your health.
If and when the subject of income or finances ever comes up, I let it be known we are retired on a fixed income, and just getting by.
That is far from the truth as our income in retirement is greater than when we were working, with far less expenses, but if anyone every wants to borrow any money, we have laid the ground work for an easy refusal..
Smart man.
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Originally Posted by flyingsaucermom
I would like for there to be more discussion, but there is only a few people I'm open with and I don't recall actually coming out and saying how much we make... I've posted about the importance of saving and investing for retirement and paying off the mortgage on my facebook... I've talked about saving 50% of our income, but I've never come out and said "we're in the 5%".
Not too smart. You're letting people know you have a certain amount of savings and investments. Who do you think they're going to ask to borrow money from?
When you say "no", you're now the bad guy. You have the money, you should be able to loan it to them, how dare you for not doing that. You know how you avoid this problem? You don't tell them what you have.
You can discuss the importance of saving/investing, but you don't tell people things like "we save 50% of our income", and certainly not online.
That's an American belief, coincidentally Americans on average also makes poor finance decisions. Finance discussions can bring new ideas and increase economic potential.
You can have financial discussions without telling everyone what you have.
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Originally Posted by I love boots.
My dad told me once that he shared what his net worth was with his dad and brother and it was a huge mistake. He was worth more than both put together so he was expected to pay for dinner every time the family went out and other things that came up. He was the guy with the money even though the others were more than well enough off. He's right. Why does that mean someone should pay for everything?
We haven't shared that kind of information with anyone. I was once on a ski lift with a friend trying to get that information from me buy first telling me every bit of his financial junk. I hated it, but I couldn't go anywhere. I also don't want to know about every penny my friends have.
Exactly, I know of a few situations like this. You want to see resentment happen, this is a great way to do it.
You can discuss the importance of saving/investing, but you don't tell people things like "we save 50% of our income", and certainly not online.
Huh? I save 40% of my gross income. I'm scrambling to do my best to retire in moderate comfort. I'm admitting to a life mistake where I have to do that. If I'd had my act together and not gotten divorced twice, I'd have 4x my net worth and I'd be retired now. I don't walk around telling everyone my savings rate or amounts but I freely admit I've dialed back my spending dramatically to create a retirement war chest.
I wonder how the "ABSOLUTELY don't ever tell anyone else your income!" crowd deals with the reality that in many cases just telling someone else your job gives away your approximate income level? It's hardly a secret that some jobs pay much better on average than others do, while others pay far worse.
(And I don't mean that sarcastically, but as an honest question.)
I'm also genuinely curious as to whether or not people knew their parents' salary and assets growing up, or if it was a taboo topic even then.
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