Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Listen folks, this isn't For you guys to use these dull excuses of "needing" the chick to SIT in the house all damn day to watch kids like this is 1940....is beyond unreal. While you are out slaving, she's sitting in the house watching Jerry Springer or sending half nude pics to losers in her Facebook Inbox.
Yes, the concept of "needs" versus "wants" shouldn't get tossed out the window - it applies to kids as much as adults. We tend to think that kids must have every minute filled with an ORGANIZED activity - problem is that organized is often code for "costs money". No need to be brainwashed by it - some things cost and some don't - the costly ones aren't necessarily better and aren't necessarily better liked or needed by your kids. It's lazy thinking to assume so. You have to say no to your kids just like to yourself.
Well said. We feel guilty sometimes about our kids not being enrolled in a whole bunch of classes and leagues... but it's expensive and creates a lot of chaos shuttling them to and from all of these activities. I mean, if one of them has an extraordinary talent that needs to be nurtured beyond what we can do, then yes we would make it happen. But to spend hundreds or thousands each year to dabble? We're just not in that kind of financial position.
Well said. We feel guilty sometimes about our kids not being enrolled in a whole bunch of classes and leagues... but it's expensive and creates a lot of chaos shuttling them to and from all of these activities. I mean, if one of them has an extraordinary talent that needs to be nurtured beyond what we can do, then yes we would make it happen. But to spend hundreds or thousands each year to dabble? We're just not in that kind of financial position.
Even if you were in that financial position (we are), what's the point?
I did all that travel athletics stuff and high-level sports things as a kid and frankly that's not really what gets you ahead in life and that's not really so important. The likelihood that this will turn into a major league career or even a college scholarship is very low.
Our kids are welcome to compete in whatever they like and take it as far as they are committed. They will both do martial arts bc I feel it has other value outside of just exercise or sport, but other than that, they can play at the school level and focus on academics.
Um, no. It is actually feminists who celebrate women working outside the home and who deride stay at home moms.
I think this is something that should be decided by the parents according the families needs. I was a stay at home mother when my kids were little. Our second child was born with special needs and that kept me home longer. I don't think I owe anyone an explanation for how we decided to raise our kids. As far as the whole loss of income argument, if it doesn't matter to us to have the second income at that time and we're fine, why is it something to criticize? And has no one considered that if you have more than one child that cost of someone else caring for them may not be worth having the few dollars left over at the end of the day and they get much better care with me anyhow?
I won't address the rest of your...er, "interesting" assertions, but it is worthwhile to point out that at least in this one, completely objective area, you are totally and provably wrong. I will leave it to others to determine if this brings many of your other "facts" into question.
City Data is like a different universe than the vast majority of the country. I'm BLACK, grew up in a SINGLE mother household and most black people grow up in single parent households. For you guys to use these dull excuses of "needing" the chick to SIT in the house all damn day to watch kids like this is 1940....is beyond unreal. While you are out slaving, she's sitting in the house watching Jerry Springer or sending half nude pics to losers in her Facebook Inbox.
But again, maybe you guys are making $1 million a year and can afford this nonsense?
Most of us middle-class folk out here are going to need BOTH parents working and we will have to arrange the daycare related procedures for "little Tink Tink" when she's very young, in a way that's efficient.
Alright. Fair enough... we are very different people. Your views about SAHM kinda drives me nuts, but I've got context for it: You are obviously educated and determined not to be in the same situation your mother was in. If this is the kind of view you think you absolutely need to continue to move forward then, yeah, I guess so... depending on whom you are surrounded by it might be a valuable perspective.
However...
My question wasn't how you felt that my husband "needed" me at home.. I said he wanted me to stay home. There was no excuses needed or given.
But yeah, I mean you're right: we're not middle-class, we're not even upper-middle class at this point... and we're white people too.... I don't even think it's comparable at this point. I just wish that you didn't stereotype us all.. give us a chance to have respect and dignity if we are worthy of it (and many of us are).. I certainly do know SAHM moms trying to make a buck (or 100k) showing booty pics on facebook as part of their beachbody(TM) pyramid scheme "business". I don't know any that watch Jerry Springer... not sure if he's even around anymore....
But Damnit, that does NOT represent me and my value system.
You do not have to pay for your child to play sports. I always thought those sport camps was just daycare. Throw your kids at the camp and go to work.
I liked playing basketball and played with my friends during school, and after school we would get together and play over breaks or weekends. I never went to sport camps and never felt I had to or was missing out. I liked riding bikes and rode with my friends.
Seriously what is with people wanting duel income? Then you have those people that save money but do not spend a dime on anything, talk about being greedy. I always thought that people should invest time in managing their personal finance so that they can comfortable, understand their money better, and be happy. Its not about maximizing all potential profits and minimizing all unnecessary expenses and I can assure you 99% of the people here are not maximizing their net gains!
I know a family were the husband works and his wife is a stay at home mother. Their income is a little under 60k (they are middle class) and they were able to raise 2 kids perfectly fine. They did not get new BMW's as their first car, they did not attend the most expensive college, they did not go to sport camps. They did get somethings like game consoles, makeup, decent used cars as their first cars (cars paid in cash), new smartphones so they were not struggling or received the minimum. They were able to attend the local state college, 1 of their children graduated, has a professional job, and got married. The other is finishing up college. So it is possible for a middle class family survive and support children, but if children costed $1157 I do not see how it would be mathematically possible. The number the government gave sounds really scary and I have no idea how this got created.
Alright. Fair enough... we are very different people. Your views about SAHM kinda drives me nuts, but I've got context for it: You are obviously educated and determined not to be in the same situation your mother was in. If this is the kind of view you think you absolutely need to continue to move forward then, yeah, I guess so... depending on whom you are surrounded by it might be a valuable perspective.
However...
My question wasn't how you felt that my husband "needed" me at home.. I said he wanted me to stay home. There was no excuses needed or given.
But yeah, I mean you're right: we're not middle-class, we're not even upper-middle class at this point... and we're white people too.... I don't even think it's comparable at this point. I just wish that you didn't stereotype us all.. give us a chance to have respect and dignity if we are worthy of it (and many of us are).. I certainly do know SAHM moms trying to make a buck (or 100k) showing booty pics on facebook as part of their beachbody(TM) pyramid scheme "business". I don't know any that watch Jerry Springer... not sure if he's even around anymore....
But Damnit, that does NOT represent me and my value system.
I wouldn't get too angry with that guy. I would question his value system if he thinks it's okay to dump little babies and toddlers with a bunch of strangers 8 hours a day.
We had one bio-son, one adopted-son and we had a number of foster-children.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
