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I was in a relationship with now-ex-BF, who insisted on making me an authorized card holder on his American Express account as well as making me a joint owner of his two already-existing checking accounts. I had no intention of using the AmEx card (I already have my own AmEx account), nor did I have any interest in his checking accounts (I have my own money, in my own checking account). He wanted me to be able to write checks on his accounts, so we went to the two banks and did the paperwork so that I became a joint owner of the accounts.
Fast forward a few months, and we broke up, and broke up ugly. I want to get my name off the AmEx card and the bank accounts. AmEx was no problem; a phone call took care of it. The banks, on the other hand, have a policy that makes no sense to me.
I'm not able to remove my name from the accounts. I can't just relinquish my joint ownership and let the accounts be only in his name, the way they were before I was added to them. According to both banks, one of us has to cancel the accounts, and he has to open new accounts in his name only. I can't just ignore the accounts, because since I'm a joint owner, if he overdrafts the account, I'm liable.
I reluctantly emailed him to ask him to please go to the banks and close the accounts and open new ones in his name only. I told him that if he hasn't closed the accounts by next week, I'll close them myself and have the balances sent to him by check, and he'll be without any checking accounts.
I can certainly understand that the bank wouldn't allow me to take HIS name off the accounts, but why on earth won't the banks let me take MY name off? The officer at one of the banks gave me a long story about possible fraud, and divorces, and ex-spouses running off with the other spouse's money, but none of that seems to me to be relevant to my wish to get my own name off a bank account.
I haven't been in your position (luckily) but IMHO the bank wants to make sure BOTH owners of these accounts have made a mutual decision. Just as both of you had to apply and sign on to the accounts, both of you have to request and sign OFF of them. I can understand the bank's policy as its designed to protect both of you as well as the bank.
Set a time to meet at the bank to get the account ownerships changed in person. If either of you can't face this one of you needs to follow up on closing the accounts. No emotional stuff. This is not the place or time for it. If you do it, save everything, document everything so nothing is left to speculation. If you have any of your personal funds in the accounts remove it and save the transaction info.
Yeah, I think you both have to be at the bank to sign the papers to get your name off of the accounts. I don't know why you have to go through all of that either...it's not like you guys married or was together for years. Good luck!
It's probably more complicated than it seems, but you shouldn't have too much trouble getting him to open a new account. After all, if he doesn't, closing the account is the nicest thing you can do. You can also simply withdraw all his money and keep it. Hopefully he will realize that he needs to change it in order to protect himself, if he isn't interested in protecting you from anything.
I've worked for a few different banks now, and each one had a policy that is exactly as the OP described. The only exception for removing a signer from an account is upon death of one of those signers (please don't go kill your ex-boyfriend). I have never been given a proper explanation by any bank as to why this policy exists, but I would imagine it's there to protect the bank in some way. Perhaps they don't want to deal with possible litigation if an unauthorized transaction posts to the account after you remove your name and then your ex-boyfriend alleges you were responsible since you knew his account number.
I think you did the right thing in asking your ex to close the account but giving him a time frame of just 1 week is not realistic. He may have outstanding checks and still have to change direct deposits. Thirty days would be more reasonable.
The bank has it as a joint account. What IS strange is that either of you CAN fully close the account, but to get your name off requires a lot of paperwork.
You've learned a lesson.
NEVER comingle unless you fully intend to marry, as in you are engaged and sure you are marrying.
Once married you can STILL keep your individual account, but have comingle (joint) accounts as well.
If you marry there is a better chance you will at least try to work things out, over just the "ugly break-up", though there are ugly divorces too.
I think you did the right thing in asking your ex to close the account but giving him a time frame of just 1 week is not realistic. He may have outstanding checks and still have to change direct deposits. Thirty days would be more reasonable.
He'll keep writing checks on the accounts forever if I don't close them. I'm just afraid he'll do something that leaves me liable for paying the bank back because I'm a joint owner of the account.
When my husband developed dementia I took his name off of several joint checking and savings accounts at two different banks. I was extremely surprised when neither bank asked for a reason or for him to be present to give his consent. For all they knew I took his name off and was then going to skip town with all of the money. One of the savings accounts had a fairly large amount of money in it as we had just sold our house.
It seemed very odd that they would let one person take the other person off of a joint account.
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