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All I am saying is that Grandma did it in a way that WILL create angst between people... And I find it funny that you DEMAND that people not have the angst from want Grandma did... The world doesn't work like that...
There's no WILL about it. Many (probably most) people wouldn't find two siblings receiving exactly the same amount of money from their parent's estate to be unfair.
And sure, the Op and his wife can angst about it. And the rest of us are free to call out that angst for what it is: pure greed.
I had the same argument with my sister. Who wanted to leave the larger amount to the child with the most kids. The son who never married and has no spouse or kids gets the chump change. How is that fair? I pointed out to her you’re punishing your son for not being a breeder? This decision could come back and bite her in the butt. She waited a minute and said she never thought of it that way. Each child gets an equal amount of money. This is fair. Not talking about grandchildren. If she is concerned about the grandchildren she could do something for them while she is alive. Favoring children is a good way to drive a stake through their relationship with each other for life. You want a close family? Treating them all fairly is a good start.
Quick question,
So if you pay for one kids college tuition but the other kid goes into the military, do you now owe the other kid 80k to make it fair?
And my youngest is going to law school, do I now have to give the other two 50k each.
As a matter of fact, I'm taking 2 kids to Disneyworld in August the 3rd will be working so can't go, am I on the hook for a vacation at a later date to keep it fair and they won't be bitter about it?
My parents' will splits everything equal among us 3 kids. If it was based on number of grandchildren and great grandchildren, as the oldest child, my family would take most of the estate. My 5 nieces haven't even gotten engaged yet, while my 3 kids have produced 7 babies so far and are still going strong.
Mom wants us to give each grandchild and great grandchild a token amount, but the bulk of the small estate, if there's anything left, will just be split 3 ways.
Grandma can leave her money to whomever she chooses.
We will only leave our money to our children in totally equal amounts. None will go to grandchildren as their own parents can share if they choose. I personally would not want to penalize my children who have perhaps not had children yet or may never have them. That is our personal viewpoint and I respect that others feel differently.
It never occurred to my kids that their grandparents would leave them any money - only my siblings and I were heirs and it was a generous amount of money. But the grandkids were thrilled to receive a cherished quilt or Grandpa's gold pen or a favorite chest.
I think it's weird that so many people think it's wrong to leave money to grandchildren. I mean, of course it's a personal choice either way, but it's certainly no more wrong to leave money to grandkids along with the kids than it would be to skip one generation entirely and leave ALL the money to grandkids as opposed to leaving it all to the kids. I can only imagine how the OP's head would explode over THAT!
But no matter how much whining and foot stomping this situation provokes by some, the fact remains that Grandma is leaving money to individuals, not families. It doesn't matter whether that's what OP or anyone else would do, it's what Grandma is doing. Conflating it and measuring it by families instead of by individual is clearly going against Grandma's stated opinion and wishes, as she obviously sees each of the beneficiaries as an individual.
fwiw, I'm the parent of an only child, and my sibling has 2 kids. A portion of my mother's estate is designated for the grandchildren, and it will be split evenly among them. The remainder is split evenly between my sibling and me. So technically, my sibling's "family" gets more, and I'm fine with that, and would consider it unfair if it were done in any other manner because the grandchildren are being treated as individuals who each have their own relationship with their grandmother. My son isn't entitled to twice as much because there's only one of him, and my mother is of course entitled to want to leave a direct inheritance to her beloved grandchildren rather than just her own children.
Bitterness will be caused if granny left it all to charity too.
Granny did it the way she saw fair and equal to all whom she loved. Equitable distribution. End of story.
The second scenario didn't happen. So it doesn't count.
THERE IS NO RULE OR LAW THAT SAYS INHERITANCES MUST BE EQUAL.
Maybe one daughter did do more than the other daughter for her. The other daughter just doesn't know it because she wasn't there.
I'm going to get more than my sibling in federal prison for live, my dead sibling gets nothing, and I get grandma's properties too. Is that fair? Is it equal?
No, but it's what my father thought to do since prison sibling will have no use for much more than the $300/per month the prison allows to be credited to their "bank account s ' . Also in there til dead, will have no need for the 5 properties I'll inherit. (4being formerly grandmas).
There isn't a lot my prison sibling can do. And dead sibling died childless. None of us have kids.
But if dad leaves it all to charity, fine.
It's not mine to decide until I actually get it.
I/we are leaving an inheritance of our estate 25% to a couple of parents, 25% to each of their three kids . Thats how WE see it. Shpuld wevleave 50% to the parents and 50% to be split 16+% to each kid? That might be "fairer in your eyes". But 25% to parents and each of the three kids is pur version of "fair and equitable" to US. IT'S OUR ESTATE to do wirh as,we please.
Give it up, you got what you got.
That's why the very wealthy don't believe in inheritance and are giving it all to charity.
Is it fair one charity might get more than the other?
Of course the other scenario matters. It’s principal. And no one daughter didn’t do more than the other.
Dead siblings with no kids? Someone in prison for life? Yes fair
There's no WILL about it. Many (probably most) people wouldn't find two siblings receiving exactly the same amount of money from their parent's estate to be unfair.
And sure, the Op and his wife can angst about it. And the rest of us are free to call out that angst for what it is: pure greed.
Greed for wanting exactly the same as the other person... Irony...
But what is “equal” in this case? Why should Grandma feel obligated to split her estate 50:60 between her two daughters and leave nothing at all to her equally-loved grandchildren? Split the money the way the OP and his wife would have preferred and one sister has $150k to spend on one child, while the other sister has to split $150k four ways. Is that “fair”? I bet sister #2 doesn’t think so! Why isn’t her viewpoint just as valid as the OP’s wife’s?
This family is unhappy because they have decided to be, not because they were treated unfairly. They are upset because they feel entitled to money that was not their own. They DESERVE nothing, and ought to be grateful that they received anything at all - and delighted that each child and each grandchild was treated exactly the same, with no picking of favorites.
Daughter 1 is 40 and 98% chance done having kids
Daughter 2 is 30 and could have more kids
I already explained circumstances of babies born a few years getting nothing
Yea. Two kids split 50/50 that is the most equal way. As someone put it why should one household get more because they are breeders
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