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Your mother is 70, statistically she has quite a few years to live, even with alcohol involved.
If your sister is living there and fearful of the house being sold because you are co-inheritor per current will then the will might get changed and you may not know about the change until your mothers passing. That happened to someone I know very well, only 1 of the mothers grown children inherited her home and the others weren't expecting it.
People change their wills.
Mom is 74, extremely out of shape, horrible diet, alcoholic (gin and tequila), bad sleep apnea, on multiple medications, cancer survivor, but her doctor tells her she is super healthy and yes I could see her living another 15 years possibly. One thing in her favor health-wise is she has zero stress, she is quite literally care-free. She is the worst driver anyone has ever seen and she has told me she believes she will die in a car accident.
I actually would be more comfortable if my mom left the house to my sister as opposed to making me co-own it with my sister. In fact one idea I had was for my mom to leave everything to my sister, but keep me as executor, and let my sister just give me what she deems "fair" whenever she feels like it. I proposed that idea to my sister and it was the only one that didn't make her flip out. I want half the money, but honestly my bigger concern is I do not want to co-own anything with my mom or my sister.
You'd never guess from what I've said in this thread but we are actually very cordial with each other for the most part. We're going on a vacation together next week. We all met with mom's lawyer last week to learn about the deed with life estate he had recommended to my mom. Mom and sister were fine with doing it, but I did not like the idea of all 3 of us on the deed while my mom and sister live there. We have a quick call scheduled with lawyer tomorrow but it won't be enough time to actually sort this out I don't think.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnassia
One potential pitfall might be if the house sale doesn't realize enough to satisfy the mortgage one or two years hence. Who's on the hook for making up the difference?
I would just want approximately half of the proceeds, I would never demand the amount listed in the mortgage / appraisal if the house didn't bring the expected selling price. This really isn't about trying to get as much money as possible for me. I do want half of the money, but my bigger concern is I do not want to own the house for any period of time, and I definitely don't want my name on a deed alongside my mom and sister.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen
The first problem I see is that your sister living in the house alone will let it get more run down that it may already be. Maybe not pay the property taxes, even. So when it comes time for the sister to move (which I doubt will ever come, frankly), what would you get for the rundown house? Or what would your recourse be if the state seized it for nonpayment of taxes? Or what if she calls you for the money to pay the property taxes, or will you both share in that expense? Are you really going to sue her to get her out of the house, if she doesn't move out in a year after your mother's death?
Is it an expensive house? Might it be better to just wash your hands of the whole house matter entirely and let your sister get it and live in it, and the house is now her problem entirely?
You are thinking along the same lines as me and these are just a few of the many reasons I don't want to co-own the house. In its current condition it would probably bring $240,000. If I spruced it up I believe based on comps in the neighborhood it would sell for around $300,000. I'm open to going in the direction you mentioned, to basically say just give my sister the house, and then if/when she sells it's up to her if she chooses to share the proceeds with me. And I'd have to assume she will never sell and will live there for the rest of her life.
One problem that I see is if she has no money she will not be able to maintain it.
Probably need to clarify if mom's total proceeds amount to $600,000. including the house. If you split 1/2 both get $300,000. She will have to manage on that amount.
Need to further clarify if she has any income. Social Security, pension, something to live on. With no income $300,000 may not last so long.
Mom's main assets currently are:
the paid off house which is worth $240,000 - $300,000
$630,000 in an IRA and annuities
Mom does get social security income. She travels constantly, and not on a budget, she is doing multiple extravagant cruises and trips per year, there might be one or two months per year she doesn't travel. She had $1M in accounts in 2015, it was down to $800,000 by 2020, and now it is down to $630,000. The vast majority of her money was inherited when my dad was still alive, from his mother.
My sister just started working part time in this past year. Before that she was an unemployed heroin addict for 3 years. Before that she was clean for 9 years and had a great career. Before that she was a heroin addict for several years. She currently gets food stamps and lives rent free at mom's and basically does everything for my mom. Literally my mom has never rinsed a dish in her life. She will not get up off the couch. My sister is her live-in servant, and any time I'm around I am servant #2.
I think my sister is counting on inheriting some money from mom in addition to the house and that money will allow her to pay the property taxes and maintenance on the house for a while, then she'll sell and figure out where she can afford to move. But I told her I doubt there will be any money left for us to inherit. I have always assumed mom would spend every penny.
I think you should live your life as if you knew nothing about your mom’s will, and don’t expect anything. If you don’t trust your sister to pay taxes on the house then don’t agree to have your name on the deed. That’s the only risk I can see in having your name on the deed since the house is paid for. Does transferring title of the house even solve the Medicaid issue? Isn’t the $630K in IRA a bigger problem for Medicaid? Do you trust that lawyer?
I think you should live your life as if you knew nothing about your mom’s will, and don’t expect anything. If you don’t trust your sister to pay taxes on the house then don’t agree to have your name on the deed. That’s the only risk I can see in having your name on the deed since the house is paid for. Does transferring title of the house even solve the Medicaid issue? Isn’t the $630K in IRA a bigger problem for Medicaid? Do you trust that lawyer?
Everyone involved wants all parties to be fully informed and in agreement about the will. My mom wants my sister and I to know what's in the will, she asked us to join her to meet with the lawyer and she wants our help figuring this out so that everyone is at peace.
My impression of her lawyer based on the 2 meetings I've attended with him (one last week and one several years ago) is that he is on autopilot going through the motions, not really personalizing the plan, and too busy to focus on our situation. He and my mom told me some or all of her IRA and/or annuities are protected from medicaid, I think because she is taking payments? I'm not 100% clear on that.
The 2 options he presented to protect the house from medicaid are the deed with life estate which would put my name and sister's name on the deed right now, or the child caregiver exemption which he told us just required the child to live with parent for 2 years to qualify but I read about it and the level of care has to include stuff like bathing and diapering and physically moving the person from location to location within the home for at least 2 years! He neglected to reveal that part. https://www.medicaidplanningassistan...ver-exemption/
There are so many things that make me very uneasy about co-owning the house or ever being on the deed while mom and sister live there, but let me explain just one that the lawyer confirmed would be an issue: if someone is injured at the house and my name is on the deed they can sue me personally. He wouldn't have mentioned that little "downside" of the deed with life estate that he's pushing, I had to ask. And he was like wow good question, yes you could be sued.
Last edited by Tsitsipas; 08-10-2023 at 09:44 PM..
Mom's main assets currently are:
the paid off house which is worth $240,000 - $300,000
$630,000 in an IRA and annuities
Just be aware that IRAs, and probably the annuities, should have stated beneficiaries. At your mother's death, they would pass to the beneficiary and not pass via the will.
There are so many things that make me very uneasy about co-owning the house or ever being on the deed while mom and sister live there, but let me explain just one that the lawyer confirmed would be an issue: if someone is injured at the house and my name is on the deed they can sue me personally. He wouldn't have mentioned that little "downside" of the deed with life estate that he's pushing, I had to ask. And he was like wow good question, yes you could be sued.
I don’t know what state you are in but double-check what the lawyer is telling you about liability. I was reading that the life estate tenant retains responsibility for paying taxes, insurance, and taking care of the house while they are alive. Your liability does not kick in until the tenant passes.
Maybe it would be worth it for you to consult with an attorney of your own?
Just be aware that IRAs, and probably the annuities, should have stated beneficiaries. At your mother's death, they would pass to the beneficiary and not pass via the will.
Yes, make sure this is done.
I wouldn't want anything to do with the house and your sister either. I think it's wise to stay away from that future problem. There's a value to her living with your mom and taking care of some things so you don't have to.
No need to be on the deed that would severely impact far too many issues if this was needed
Also 100% sell the house. No bargaining, no negotiation with the sister or guilt trip. Sell it. Leaving real estate to multiple is far too often a mess.
No need to be on the deed that would severely impact far too many issues if this was needed
Also 100% sell the house. No bargaining, no negotiation with the sister or guilt trip. Sell it. Leaving real estate to multiple is far too often a mess.
Wouldn’t that have to be written in the Will (to sell)? Otherwise how do you force another part-owner to sell (the sister)? My understanding is all parties would have to be in agreement to sell.
I actually would be more comfortable if my mom left the house to my sister as opposed to making me co-own it with my sister. In fact one idea I had was for my mom to leave everything to my sister, but keep me as executor, and let my sister just give me what she deems "fair" whenever she feels like it. I proposed that idea to my sister and it was the only one that didn't make her flip out. I want half the money, but honestly my bigger concern is I do not want to co-own anything with my mom or my sister.
You want half the money of what? Sale of the house? It may never happen.
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