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There are signs in my town that say Don't Feed The Problem. In other words, give money to the charities and food banks if you want to help, but don't give cash to the beggars.
In my town, and California, and probably the entire US, there are a TON of resources for homeless. In my town there are something like 6 charities that have regular food banks low income/homeless can go to for free food. Some will give you food once a week others once a month. But there are a LOT of them.
Plus the mission in town will feed them hot meals three times a day. AND they will let them stay for 30 days. If they make a real effort to find a job during that time, they can stay longer for free and save their income for a security deposit and rent to move into a place.
Most of them are on SSI or other federal income. Some make as much money as I do (I'm on SSI disability). So, I make do with paying rent, and other bills, and insurance, and put gas in the car and take care of a dog AND save money each month - on $877/month. They get $877 per month and spend it on God knows what, get a ton of free food, and then beg for even more money.
There are govt and charities that will also GIVE them deposit money to move into a place. I can't get that money. You have to be homeless or in danger of becoming homeless, and they will give you hundreds of dollars.
So, when I see a sign that says "Need Food" in my town, I laugh. When they say they need bus money or cigarette money, etc., etc., I just say, Sorry, I can't afford to give you money.
When I'm feeling like messing with them, I'll start blabbing on and on about all my bills. "Oh, I TOTALLY understand how hard it is to pay for cigarettes. You would not believe my bills! My rent alone is $350 even in subsidized senior housing! My last electric bill was almost 60 DOLLARS! Can you believe that? And don't get me started on the price of gas, and even though my car is an old beater that is paid for, I still have to pay for liability insurance. Oh, and I have a dog!
Well, by now they are long gone LOL! Works every time.
Remember the old line, "I gave at the office?" You could try that, OP. "I give to the mission, sorry, no more budget for individual handouts."
But, really you should report the guy to the owner of the shop and the cops. We have to do that here where I live downtown among many homeless. When they decide to sleep in the doorways, the cops will remove them.
I have absolutely no mercy for the beggars who hit me up. Like the posters say in our town, Don't Feed the Problem. There are plenty of programs to house and feed them, free medical help, etc., etc. They just want your cash to buy cigarettes or liquor or drugs. AND his life choices are not your problem.
There's another thread on C-D with some interesting perspectives and solutions Holy Panhandling Batman!
I finally printed up a map with the homeless shelters and bus stops marked on it. Anyone begs, I hand them that. I give to several local charities that collect food and goods for the homeless, I pay a lot of taxes that go to providing EBT cards, free phones, free health care, etc etc. to these people. Too many of them are alcoholics or methheads. I'm not interested in supporting their addictions. I'm not trained to tell the difference between someone who is legit and someone who is a scammer. So my policy is to support the organizations who take care of them and not worry, not engage, and not feel sorry for someone who "appears" to be in dire straits. Not all of them are in dire straits, and some of them make a healthy living harassing nice people who have a soft heart and think we can all hold hands and sing kumbaya and the world will magically be better. Softies are easy to spot and the beggars are great con artists at tapping into that resource.
do what I do, when people I don't know, do something that might annoy me, assign them a funny name and next time you see the beggar say to yourself as you acknowledge him with a nod; "hello Mr. Goosefarts, what a lovely day today isn't it?" but try not to snicker when you say that as they usually don't get it and may throw something from the garbage can at you.
I was approached while in my car at red light by a man carrying a sign claiming to be a sick, homeless Vietnam veteran. He had trouble walking and looked to be in pretty bad shape, but did not appear intoxicated. He told me he needed bus fare to get to the VA hospital across town. Reaching into my wallet to give him a dollar bill, I pulled out a five instead, and as the light changed at that instant, I handed it to him and drove off, considering my good deed done for the day. Fast-forward two or three days. I'm stopped at the same intersection on the way home, and just before the light changes to green for me, a man sprints across the street in front of me, hale and hearty as ever a man was, and I notice a familiar sign tucked under his arm. That guy basically ruined it for every panhandler I encounter until the end of time. I will occasionally offer to buy food for someone who claims to be hungry, and have given away leftovers when approached after exiting a restaurant, but I will never give money again.
I was approached while in my car at red light by a man carrying a sign claiming to be a sick, homeless Vietnam veteran. He had trouble walking and looked to be in pretty bad shape, but did not appear intoxicated. He told me he needed bus fare to get to the VA hospital across town. Reaching into my wallet to give him a dollar bill, I pulled out a five instead, and as the light changed at that instant, I handed it to him and drove off, considering my good deed done for the day. Fast-forward two or three days. I'm stopped at the same intersection on the way home, and just before the light changes to green for me, a man sprints across the street in front of me, hale and hearty as ever a man was, and I notice a familiar sign tucked under his arm. That guy basically ruined it for every panhandler I encounter until the end of time. I will occasionally offer to buy food for someone who claims to be hungry, and have given away leftovers when approached after exiting a restaurant, but I will never give money again.
And he probably lives in a nicer house than everyone in this thread. lol
And he probably lives in a nicer house than everyone in this thread. lol
I once heard a radio interview with a man who claimed to take in about $90K in one year from panhandling. He said that when he lost his job and couldn't find another, he was too ashamed to tell his wife, so he pretended to go to work every morning, and instead drove to an area where he wouldn't be recognized, changed into scruffy clothes, and begged on the street all day. In the evening, he drove back to his nice suburban home, for which he had never missed a mortgage payment. At the time of the interview, he had been living that way for about 18 months, and although he claimed to feel guilt about deceiving people (including his family), it paid the bills so he planned to continue.
I believe that what you say happened really did happen exactly as you say. But because ONE
homeless person acted that way does not mean all homeless people are like that. I have
befriended one homeless person in the last few years who is not like that at all. He stops to talk
with me whether I give him something or not. Living on the streets can't be good for a person. Years ago his house burnt down and he could not afford to buy another. Family was not willing
to help him. Because of the chain of events he lost his job and ended up on the streets. He tried
to find work but that was when things started going down economically for most people.
He got so discouraged that after a while he stopped trying. I have always tried to encourage him.
Just stopping long enough to talk with him and sometimes to give him a meal has helped. But
this has to be how many of them feel. Some people think so little of the homeless that they won't even
treat them as fellow human beings. If you don't want to give money DON'T. But at least treat them
like someone who deserves respect. Just a genuine smile will help many. I am sorry for your experience.
But you are probably going home to your comfortable house. If you have a bad day, at least you have
a place of sanctuary. The homeless don't have that. Some of them brought it on themselves. Some
through no fault of their own. Be kind to them more for your own sake, than for theirs. The bible says
whatever we do to the least of these, we do to HIM. If you are a praying man, pray for this man and others.
This is the sort of story of which I am skeptical. A person doesn't end up living on the street because his house burned down "years ago." If you are an honest, clean-living person, friends and family will help you in times of need, especially when unexpected tragedy strikes. Most people will make the offer a bed or couch or floor to sleep on, rather than see a family member or friend live on the street. If your nearest and dearest are unwilling to do that, usually the reason is that they have previously tried to help, and have had their generosity abused, or their patience exhausted. More often than not, drug abuse or untreated mental illness is a factor.
To the OP: I would have been extremely angry and uncomfortable if that guy was following me, too. Doesn't matter if he thought you were telling him a lie ~ you said NO. Unless he's coo-coo enough to forget you until next time, you may have a problem.
It's rare that I give money, but when I do it's never to a belligerent one. When I was in Manhattan I walked by a woman sitting on a bench aggressively panhandling, and when I kept on going I heard her yell "white -itch" at me. Why on earth would give money to this person???
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