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My friend is part Meskwaki and grew up on an Indian reservation. She identifies herself as a progressive, liberal atheist and therefore a feminist. The reservation has a history of serious social and cultural problems such as drug addiction and family dysfunction, of which my friend is a product. She has on many occasions stressed the volatile nature of the reservation and how people are better off leaving it for the city.
The Meskwaki culture is highly conservative and as far as I know the tribal council is entirely made up of men. My friend tells me that politically it's very backwards and corrupt. In traditional Meskwaki culture, when a woman is menstruating, she is not allowed to eat from the same pot as her family and has to eat alone, away from everyone. The literal English translation for the Meskwaki word for menstruation is "bad way." My friend has a batch of Indian corn that was to be used for a ceremony, but since she was having her period while preparing it, it couldn't be used. I criticized these suppressive, superstitious practices towards menstruation as very old-world and extremely sexist, yet despite her supposedly similar progressive views, this made my friend defensive and irritated. How could anyone with a trace of feminism defend such a blatantly discriminatory and sexist culture? How is the logical behind these barbaric, superstitious practices much better than that of 16th century witch hunting?
It's the same way today with other beliefs. The indoctrination people are exposed to at a young age is so strong it overcomes the most rational and objective thinking. Your friend became upset because, despite her atheism and general rational thinking, your objective comments were conflicting with her indoctrination.
Thank you, Charles. She also has the urge to smudge a room if, say, something tragic happened there. Smudging consists of burning a "sacred" dried foliage (cedar needles, for instance) and tossing the smoke around the room to "purify" it. I asked her why, as an atheist, she does this, and she couldn't give me a straight answer. She gave vague spiritual reasons but when I asked for a precise explanation she got frustrated and defensive and said it's hard to explain.
Smudging is a very common new-age practice, lots of people do it, usually with Sage.
I think you insulting the beliefs of her heritage, is kind of like when you insult your little sister it's okay, but if someone else does it's not okay. Just because she has now formed her own beliefs that are different than the traditions she grew up with, does not mean she then has to put down those traditions. It's still her family, and in a round-about way you are insulting her family if you judge their beliefs harshly. I think that's what she objected to.
Smudging is a very common new-age practice, lots of people do it, usually with Sage.
Why?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl
I think you insulting the beliefs of her heritage, is kind of like when you insult your little sister it's okay, but if someone else does it's not okay. Just because she has now formed her own beliefs that are different than the traditions she grew up with, does not mean she then has to put down those traditions. It's still her family, and in a round-about way you are insulting her family if you judge their beliefs harshly. I think that's what she objected to.
I think you've got a point. It's just odd considering how she talks poorly of the Indian reservation herself and seems to realize that the "bad way" philosophy of menstruation is blatantly sexist and brainless. Plus if you're going to call yourself atheist, and are a full grown adult, I think you should be able to explain your own actions, especially when they're brought on by strong urgency. Something terrible recently happened in her former home at the reservation, which she still owns and maintains, and it gave her an urgency to go smudge it. I asked her, why? What would that do? And she couldn't give me a precise answer.
Probably the same reasons that many women adhere to the sexist beliefs of their Christian or other denominations.
It isn't rational, and neither are the "new age" practises of smudging or other nonsense.
On the other hand, what's it to you? I have friends who believe in Christianity, astrology, chiropractic, and all kinds of other wacky and unfounded beliefs. It doesn't really affect me and I mostly don't try to talk them out of their superstitions.
If she's happy with her life, why try to talk her out of her beliefs or the way she expresses them or how she tries to support hte culture she grew up in? Native cultures have been under attack for a long time, and the erosion of native social structures has devastating consequences for tribal members. She's trying to keep that alive, maybe, because the alternative is so very horrifying.
It's the same way today with other beliefs. The indoctrination people are exposed to at a young age is so strong it overcomes the most rational and objective thinking. Your friend became upset because, despite her atheism and general rational thinking, your objective comments were conflicting with her indoctrination.
I think of it more this way: I've lived my entire entire life in greater Buffalo, NY. In certain impartial discussions I'd be inclined to admit that Buffalo is not a great place to be. But if you started making fun of Buffalo in my presence, I'd get far more defensive than if it was "consensual criticism" in an otherwise neutral (or neutral-seeming, or positive-seeming) setting.
I know this because it's happened to me (it = backlash-provoking situations; attacks on my home turf that I'd probably otherwise agree with if they were stated more tactfully) on more than one occasion, and I have a feeling something similar was at work with Johnny Ace's direct criticism of Miss Meskwaki's traditional practices, to which she likely has some core psychological attachment
Now, I know you aren't talking about me, because I would not have told you those things. But I am also an atheist and Meskwaki and a female and a self proclaimed feminist.
At some point, you cannot separate culture and religion. So it is confusing to decide which practices to keep because you want to preserve the culture, and which to discard of. People still try to convert us, so you can imagine how sensitive one can become when if they perceive they are being attacked.
Do I follow the "rules" of my period in my home? No, I don't believe in it. Do I follow them at ceremonies? Yes. Because you don't go to someone's funeral or baptism or wedding and scream "you're all superstitious heathens" when people are praying. That would be rude.
Matt makes a good point in terms of alliance or belonging/a need to belong ... the ways of my group might be ****ed up in some ways, but it's my group.
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