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I have a friend who's son (18yo) needed to learn how to drive, so I volunteered to teach him.
In the many driving sessions we went on, he never once said "thanks, please, I appreciate it" or anything near. There were a couple times when I got there to his house to drive with him and he said, "my mom took the car today," never bothering to let me know ahead of time. That was a loss of an half hour each way for me. Finally, I gave him a task to do, to find out when the local DMV offices were not open and to see if we could practice parallel parking on their property. He never called them.
I asked his aunt and she told me that he has never been polite or appreciative of anything. So, I figured it was just him.
Today, I was leaving a parts store, and a couple "kids," one of which had just bought a Dodge Dart was trying to figure out how to remove the windshield wipers. One of them asked me as I was passing; "do you know how to remove these windshield wipers?" No "hello", "excuse me" or any preamble.
So, I took a look at it, figured how they come apart and showed them. After that they started talking to each other about what color wiper they wanted and it was as if I disappeared from view. Once more, no "thank you, thanks, or I appreciate it," so, I continued on my way.
Is this common behavior now for young folks or have I just run into the local rude patrol?
I'm 25 - I send out Thank You notes and always try to express gratitude by email or text if not in person.
We had a 16 year old mowing our lawn, and before his last time due to a move he texted, "Thanks for giving me the opportunity to work for you, I appreciate it." This was last week....
Then I have an almost 16 year old sister who I have tried to do nice things for, who can be rude/ungrateful or if her friends aren't around then she will say thanks. She fails to meet obligations and has been a flake. I attribute this to her mom who holds a similar attitude.
I really think that this, while possibly generational, is largely personal. My grandmother had a stepson in the 1970s who she described this way.
DH & his sister are early thirties. While I've worked with him on responding to acts of kindness, his sister never acknowledges presents or sends out Thank You notes. MIL & FIL are not this way, but they never followed through or enforced manners with the kids growing up, so I see how they became this way. DH now feels embarrassed by his lack of manners he displayed in his twenties.
I even had to, "teach," him to not block isles with his cart, and pushed him to call relatives when they'd send gifts. Thankfully he does it on his own now.
When respect to elders, who carry family spirit and education, was killed in the country, when media took over youth minds, with its own examples of what polite actually is, then you get what you get. Dumbed down generation and it will only get worse and worse.
Watch Idiocracy.
Lower expectations.
Is this common behavior now for young folks or have I just run into the local rude patrol?
Has anyone else experienced this?
No, this is not generational. In my line of work I've met plenty of people of all ages who do not say "thank you", "please", or "you're welcome".
It's definitely down to the person and not the generation.
Personally, I know plenty of younger people who are very kind and will make sure that you know if they appreciate what you did for them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ukrkoz
When respect to elders, who carry family spirit and education, was killed in the country, when media took over youth minds, with its own examples of what polite actually is, then you get what you get. Dumbed down generation and it will only get worse and worse.
Watch Idiocracy.
Lower expectations.
Statistics please? Any evidence that your generation was better?
Like the poster above said, I don't think it's a generational thing. I've run into plenty of rude elderly. I always act polite to any person I meet and greet people.
When it comes to certain formalities like "please" or "thank you", I think it depends on who one is interacting with. If the individual is not known then it is expected whereas between friends and family members the interactions are usually less formal.
Politeness, courtesy and chivalry are dying out. It spans all generations. Yes a lot of young people were never taught how to be polite or required to do so. It is a lot of work to teach and require and many parents are not that motivated. However even older people who were once taught to be polite are dropping it. They will give you all sorts of excuses, mostly saying other people are not polite, so why should I be? Mostly it is a general lack of respect for others and lack of courtesy. I think it goes hand in hand with the death of civil discourse. Now it is I am right and you are wrong (even if you agreement with me), and if you try to say anything, I am going to insult you, interrupt, shout you down, or do anything other than consider what you have to say or that you may have a valid, but differing viewpoint. I believe it is only gong to get worse. People are getting more and more self oriented and less community oriented. Why be polite? What do I get in exchange for it? If the answer is nothing of value, then why bother?
Barneys "magic words" song just was not enough to teach civility. The electronic babysitter requires reinforcement to work.
Our kids are basically polite for the most part. Not like Southern genteel, or Canadian polite, but sure they say please when asking for something or ordering their food and thank you when someone is done for them. They know to look someone in the eye when talking to them, not off into the distance or at a phone screen (usually, not always). People used to go on and on to us about how amazingly polite our kids are, especially waitresses. They are not unusually polite just average, but I guess average has become unusual now.
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