Pittsburghers and Flirting....or lack thereof (Smithfield: how much, employment, live in)

[gg]

Originally Posted by DaisyDaisy

...anyone who has been- objectified, assaulted, or worse.

Please show me someone that "assaulted, or worse" to that jerk women on the NYC video. I am looking forward to you trying to find one of those guys even the guy that walked alongside her. I think people are losing it.

[sicksburgh]

Originally Posted by Moby Hick

Looking over a few of your posts, you seem to have an enormous chip on your shoulder about anything concerning Pittsburgh. Most people aren't actors and can't hide that kind of thing from people in the room with them. If you are seething with rage, everybody is going to find somebody else to flirt with. And if you aren't seething with rage in other cities, the somebody might warm to you.

Ugh. Doesn't anyone read posts anymore? I said "BACK IN MY SINGLE DAYS". This was an observation I made in the past. I'm not complaining about the present....I haven't been to a bar in years, nor have I been single in years. Whatever, I give up. This is just pointless. If I can't even convey a basic timeline to you people, then there's just no use trying to have anything resembling a constructive conversation here. I think I'd have better luck discussing the theory of cold fusion at the ARC.

[DaisyDaisy]

Originally Posted by gg

Please show me someone that "assaulted, or worse" to that jerk women on the NYC video. I am looking forward to you trying to find one of those guys even the guy that walked alongside her. I think people are losing it.

I don't think anyone assaulted the woman in that video. My point was that catcalling-while varying from apparently some women perceiving it as a compliment, to others feeling annoyed, to it becoming genuine harassment, depending on the person- can feel very threatening to a woman, especially one who has been a prior victim of harassment, assault or worse.

[aw_now_what]

Originally Posted by gg

Sorry, but you are WRONG! Some people DON'T know any better and who are you to think you can bring the up from the sorry state they are in? Hello? Lets look at a person as an example. So a boy is born and raised by various foster parents that are usually looking for drug money or beating the kid. He doesn't graduate and is now working some job at a gas station, IF he is lucky. Maybe he is smart enough to run drugs for some dealer? Who knows? He is doing pretty good considering, but he hasn't a clue about middle class or even lower middle, yet YOU feel he should not be attracted to a women and say hello in his own way? Oh, wait, there is no classism going on? BS! Get off you high horse and realize some people have little if any education. This is the US, not Sweden or Norway. The women that made that video is a stuck up jerk, nothing more. There is always some pecking order and if some guy with an IQ of 67 says hello, by saying, you would look good with me, or whatever, those kind of things are okay, because they don't understand. They are thinking it is a complement and a chance to be with the women. Why are only handicapped people "protected"? Not some guy that had no parents and is just giving it a shot. He isn't breaking the law, just hoping! Oh, how nice it is to be brought up complaining you aren't getting pizza on a friday. Yeah, whatever. Total classism. If you don't see it you are too far gone, but most people are too far gone. There are all kinds out there. Some say hello with, "you look like $1,000, some say you are attractive. They both mean the same thing, but it is a class thing. NEXT!

h_curtis. You have no business deciding how women should feel about being catcalled. Don't even try.

[gg]

Originally Posted by aw_now_what

h_curtis. You have no business deciding how women should feel about being catcalled. Don't even try.

Ah Bob, you have no business categorizing everyone in nice little packages called, "classes". Who are you? No one. You are not the judge. There are always going to be rougher people. Calling them out in this manner is a joke. You want to fix it? You can start adopting the countless orphans and kids that are thrown away in the US. I get a kick out of this topic as if everyone is worried if they are getting their pizza on Friday. Some are wondering if they will eat in the next day or so.

People make me sick and this women is a big cause of it. Classism is real and she is a perfect example. Sadly, most people follow along as though everyone was borough up in some home with a white picket fence. Good luck in dream world there bob.

I have EVERY right to state my opinion and lets face it. I AM CORRECT and there is no argument against me. Good luck trying. You just state my old name as though it is some big deal. Nice try bud. You are a follower and not a thinker. Maybe you should just read along and learn from ME, but seeing that you addressed me in bold type, I have already won this silly battle. You know I am right and you are trying to find a way to make us even in some way. Look, I passé Psychology 101 many years ago. You probably were still in a diaper.

[DaisyDaisy]

^ if you want to help disadvantaged kids, please consider donating to kidsvoice.org or united way.

[gg]

Originally Posted by DaisyDaisy

^ if you want to help disadvantaged kids, please consider donating to kidsvoice.org or united way.

They will do about nothing to help this class debate. If you really want to make a difference adopt one of this poor kids looking for just a tiny bit of direction. I am not the one calling these people out on their behavior. I simply know they think they are giving a complement and just trying to get to know a women. They don't have tools to really have a chance, but I suspect every once in a while some women might go for them. All it takes is one out of 1000.

People are very judgmental towards the folks that just don't know any better. I find it pretty amazing in a way. I guess it would help if there was some visible sign like a wheel chair. People understand those because it is easier to see and understand. Simple is the word that comes to mind. Apparently most people are, "simple".

[doo dah]

Originally Posted by erieguy

Wow, I couldn't imagine going around being so easily offended or sensitive. Catcalling is certainly not appropriate but a nice compliment is harmless and appreciated by most any rational person.

Has anyone ever said to your mother, wife, sister, daughter, "Sit on my face, sweet thing"? Did they become BFF?
Did some big burly guy ever say that to you? Do you go to the games and high five now?

[SteelCityRising]

Originally Posted by starrider434

When I lived in Pittsburgh, I found it tough as nails trying to date and meet women, was pretty icy cold there socially, as far as dating as a transpant, imho. I was very happy to leave that area, actually, though I was not there too long. I went out to singles dances, night clubs, and etc...it was tough there, imo. Very hard to get to know people, and standoffish, ... even the rural areas, people seemed aloof, cause I had to travel the area a bit. I did meet a few cool guys though, to hang out with. I lost interest in PA after that.

I've noticed a lot of Pittsburghers are selfish (perhaps not intentionally) in their social interactions with others. It might be due to a lack of education/class more than anything else, as gg implies. It may also be that my suspicion of Smartphone/technology obsessions making people more socially awkward and unintentionally aloof in one-on-one interactions is correct (hence why I refuse to obtain a Smartphone, despite my ability to purchase one).

For example, I work with the general public in the city's core urbanized area. I encounter dozens of people face-to-face on a daily basis. I've been employed in some sort of client-facing position---from customer service to sales to delivery to consultation---for twelve years now, so I've become somewhat of an expert on dealing with the general public. In that sense I know it's not something that's wrong with me that causes me to believe people here overall aren't nearly as "nice" as I was led to believe prior to moving here.

More often than not if I'm calling a customer now to let them know I've arrived at their locked building, I'll greet them with a "Good afternoon/evening, it's _____ from ______. How are you today?" That's typically followed by a "Good. You here?" Then, from me, there's a "Yes. I'm downstairs." The person will open the door, grab the delivery without a word, and then shuffle off. I mean, I know people don't intend to become "friends" with their delivery personnel, but with that being said we're still people. Just having my "how are you?" greeting returned with a "Good! How are you?!" once in a while instead of an "I'm good" (abrupt ending) would do a lot to ameliorate the selfish/classist aura I glean from a lot of people in this town towards people whom they perceive are "beneath" them.

In similar fashion I compliment (some may even say "brown-nose") quite frequently. If I'm in an elevator at a Downtown office building, and someone else steps in, I may not only give a head nod and a "Hi" but also say "Those are awesome shoes" (to a guy) or "I absolutely LOVE your earrings" (to a woman). While I'd expect the recipient of those non-flirtatious compliments to have their mood and self-esteem bolstered by such comments from a complete stranger, more often than not such comments are just met with silence, a gaze at a Smartphone, or a simple "Thanks" under their breath. I spend an hour each day "getting ready" from whitening my teeth; to assuring my hair is perfectly gelled; to trimming any rogue nose hairs. I never receive any compliment on my appearance from those I know well, let alone complete strangers, and I know if someone said something to me like "I love that spiky hair" or "cool belt" that self-esteem boost would lift me into a superior mood the rest of the day, and I'd be so appreciative of that.

Instead I spend all day everyday feeling like people think they're "above" me (even though I'm well-educated with good manners and a high IQ) because they're too selfish to consider how their social arrogance towards "the help" (as I've been called before) can transcend into hurting someone else. In any event while I still DO love Pittsburgh I can agree with many on here that the people leave MUCH to be desired in terms of friendliness. When I ask "How are you" it's not just a formality for me. I'm genuinely interested while making your acquaintance to see how your day is going and want to know how I can make that better---via exemplary customer service; a compliment; a suggestion; etc. The next time a stranger asks you this, don't just look away and pick up your Smartphone to check what Taylor Swift or Mark Madden are Tweeting at the moment because it's incredibly rude and has now given even the most ardent proponents of this city the impression that the people here SUCK. This is a major problem here from white-collars towards blue-collars more than any other class demographics I've noticed. Guess what, white-collars? Some of those blue-collars you ignore may be more educated than you and make more money than you, so stop being so pompous towards them.

[erieguy]

Originally Posted by doo dah

Has anyone ever said to your mother, wife, sister, daughter, "Sit on my face, sweet thing"? Did they become BFF?
Did some big burly guy ever say that to you? Do you go to the games and high five now?

Hmm, you must have a different definition of a nice compliment. There's really no reason to exaggerate a compliment and be so sensitive about it.