Incentivizing paying into the system (interview, ethics, Reagan, border)

[Umberlee]

I have a younger sister who has been on quite a bit of government aid for the past almost seven years. She is 28 years old. It all started when she was 21 and left an abusive relationship. She got sole custody of the kid and was a broke college student. She got on a list for subsidized housing, food stamps, TANF, the whole nine yards. At the time she was a pretty responsible person and had a really hard time with the thought that she was using government aid. She rationalized it by telling herself that those systems were designed for people like her: people who were in a tight spot and needed some help to get back on their feet before they got good jobs and then were able to pay it forward. She was an accounting major and had an outstanding work ethic.

A few months went by. Her subsidized complex was a large neighborhood with beautifully remodeled duplexes. There was a fair amount of population congestion in the immediate area and it was a good idea to keep your car doors locked at night, but otherwise it was a really nice place. I think her rent was $28 a month. She received over $200 in food stamps for her and a tiny child. The food "stamps" were now applied to a card so you didn't have to worry about the stigma of using stamps in front of everyone. Her heat was paid for by the state. She got a pittance of child support from her loser ex, but her other living expenses were so low that she didn't have to work much. She continued taking classes, but by this time decided that she wanted to major in ceramics as well as accounting. I don't think she had taken out any student loans at this point.

Fast forward to today. She dropped the accounting degree completely and almost completed a ceramics degree. She decided to pick up a major in art history as well. I think it is so she doesn't have to start paying back her student loans yet. She has never gotten off any of the government aid and has told me she doesn't think it makes any sense to go back to work and have to pay for everything she now gets for free. She opted to "home school" her daughter rather than put her in public school and have the expectation of working. I found her daily to-do list once and it consisted of: wake up, drink tea, meditate, read, etc. She is a smart person and used to be a hardworking person. Now she makes the argument that she just couldn't stand working a 9-5 for "the man" and that is another thing that irritates me. She has gotten to the point where she consistently decries the very system that keeps her afloat. She's gotten more and more entitled--indignant that her food stamp alottment was reduced, because she only gets groceries and Vitamin Cottage and will never stoop to buying non-organic food. She is pregnant and excited about having more kids after this one (why wouldn't she? She will just get an increase in benefits for each one), insistent that Medicaid should have paid for her tooth implants (which she spent $20,000 in student loans for) because it was a "psychological impairment" and she just couldn't stand to interview with ugly teeth so she would never be able to get a job unless they paid for her teeth. She also considered taking out as many credit cards as she could and paying for her teeth that way and then filing bankruptcy (she couldn't even try that because her income is so paltry that her credit line would not be high enough, thank goodness). Somehow she has had money for tattoos, trips to California and Phoenix and other places, and eating out several times a week. She wears her poverty like a badge of honor, constantly bringing up how destitute her family is and how she feels so looked-down-upon by everyone in society. Poor her.

For the record, I am a pretty left-wing person. I believe government programs should exist for people down on their luck or people who are not capable for whatever reason of getting to an income tier where they can be fully self-sufficient. To see someone in my own family, especially someone so capable and so close to me, milk the system like this just makes me ill. Since she has another baby on the way I have been thinking more about what sort of example and worth ethic her kids will end up with. By the way, she is paying a midwife $4500 out-of-pocket in order to have her baby at home in her living room. Apparently that's how "destitute" people like her roll.

Anyway I'm sorry if this is a bit of a Reagan-esque anti-welfare rant. Like I said, I am pretty left-wing, but there HAS to be some way of improving aid so that people are encouraged to use it short-term or only if absolutely necessary...or have to "give back" to society in some way, through public service or something. Am I off my rocker?

[AuDiBelle]

Nope, not off your rocker. This is why there should be time limits for aid programs. These programs promote dependency. A helping hand/safety net, but not a lifestyle. Breaking out of the cycle of poverty will be even more difficult for her children unless she comes to some epiphany and takes some personal responsibility and gains some work ethics.

One of the hospitals I worked at years ago bordered a very poverty ridden area. I would have patients on medicaid quite frequently show up in fur coats, coach purses, expensive shoes, etc.

I believe in the old saying "Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime." Our current system isn't set up to teach people to get off assistance programs and provide for themselves, and in most cases discourages it. It becomes their way of life.

[Ceece]

To be honest it sounds like your sister had major issues from the get-go that you don't want to admit to.

[Umberlee]

Originally Posted by Ceece

To be honest it sounds like your sister had major issues from the get-go that you don't want to admit to.

Sure, don't we all? I don't know specifically what "issues" you're referring to, but any related to upbringing apply to me as well--and I haven't ever had a problem with getting or keeping a job. Of course, I've never tasted the tantalizing flavor of having the government float me, either.

[NHartphotog]

Charity is a blessing. Forced charity, via taxation, is a curse. For everyone, payer and payee.