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I didn't put words into your mouth, I said I was guessing. There are some autistic children who don't really do anything at all, so does that mean we shouldn't love the unconditionally. My grandmother, and great grandmother have/had Alzheimers. I still love my grandmother, and I loved my great grandmother unconditionally. If you have a baby that dies in the womb, you love that child unconditionally. I guess it's just because you don't have the same feelings as a woman would.
I think it has more to do with what love means to me.
These days mothers often watch those images of their fetus on the monitor and go like gee, how sweet, that little arm, etc.
But that is only a recent possibility. Until recently women never knew anything about that fetus until the baby was born. Still, I assume nobody would say those mothers' feelings were different from modern mothers'. So, makes me wonder what exactly those mothers used to love about their fetuses they knew nothing about
I get that. I am with my parents and 5 younger brothers and sister 24/7, and I do mean 24/7, and I will always love them unconditionally.
Maybe you are lucky they never put you in a position where you would really start to doubt your feelings. Imagine your brother raped a girl, would you still love him unconditionally? (Sorry for the example, I just needed a dramatic scenario.)
No doubt women feel differently then men in this respect. Still, there is also a wide spectrum of what men feel in this respect.
All I am saying is that - in my opinion - the reasons for those feelings are based on illusion and projection.
Nature does that many times with our feelings. It manipulates our feelings so we do what we are supposed to do. Just think of the cuteness effect.
Women who hate the fetus in their womb, that is another interesting topic
Actually, no. The reason for those feelings are because of the woman's innate understanding of the sacredness of human life.
I think it has more to do with what love means to me.
These days mothers often watch those images of their fetus on the monitor and go like gee, how sweet, that little arm, etc.
But that is only a recent possibility. Until recently women never knew anything about that fetus until the baby was born. Still, I assume nobody would say those mothers' feelings were different from modern mothers'. So, makes me wonder what exactly those mothers used to love about their fetuses they knew nothing about
Because it is a part of you. They are connected to you. Fathers are, usually, the same. It's not just parents to child, it's also child to parent. For example, my biological father stopped seeing me when I was 5, but, though I am angry with him, I still love him, because he is part of me. I saw him, for the second time, last month and I couldn't bring myself to be hateful toward him, because he helped make me. My "step dad" doesn't understand it, neither do most of the men in my family, but the women, do. So I guess it's just a gender thing.
Maybe you are lucky they never put you in a position where you would really start to doubt your feelings. Imagine your brother raped a girl, would you still love him unconditionally? (Sorry for the example, I just needed a dramatic scenario.)
I would love him because he's my bother, but I would hate what he had done.
Because it is a part of you. They are connected to you. Fathers are, usually, the same. It's not just parents to child, it's also child to parent. For example, my biological father stopped seeing me when I was 5, but, though I am angry with him, I still love him, because he is part of me. I saw him, for the second time, last month and I couldn't bring myself to be hateful toward him, because he helped make me. My "step dad" doesn't understand it, neither do most of the men in my family, but the women, do. So I guess it's just a gender thing.
Indeed, I can't understand those feelings. I guess my feelings are simply separated from biological relationships.
(My father used to be a drinker, and he said and did ugly things when drunk and even when not drunk. According to my mother (haven't seen him in many years) he has changed, but I don't care, I will never trust him, nor do I like him, never will. He is just like a stranger to me and that is the way he will die as far as I'm concerned. From me people get the feelings they deserve in my view.)
Wow, if my brother did something like that he would be like dead to me. Those statements make me wonder about the meaning of the word love...
I guess you just don't understand. BTW just because I would still love him, doesn't mean I have to be his best friend, or even be around him, but I would love him.
Indeed, I can't understand those feelings. I guess my feelings are simply separated from biological relationships.
(My father used to be a drinker, and he said and did ugly things when drunk and even when not drunk. According to my mother (haven't seen him in many years) he has changed, but I don't care, I will never trust him, nor do I like him, never will. He is just like a stranger to me and that is the way he will die as far as I'm concerned. From me people get the feelings they deserve in my view.)
Just because I still love my biological father, doesn't mean that I trust him, or like him(I don't). But as another poster pointed out, there are different types of love.
It's odd to read that the fetus is loved and missed. How can you love and miss someone who was not even born yet, whom you have never met yet, who you know nothing about yet?
Are you trying to say that Mothers don't develop a bond with their unborn child? If you are, then you are so out there it isn't even funny. Mothers bond with their children LONG before they are born.
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