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The best thing you can do for your own mental well-being is to ignore it. I don't mean go into denial, but assume the best in people wherever possible, while still remaining realistic. Try to keep the mindset that much of the insensitive things people do are because of ignorance, and often aren't even meant to cause harm, even though they do.
There is nothing much you can do about racism or racists, I think people should learn to pick their battle.
This said, I remember a conversation I had with a white guy I dated a while ago. He is perhaps one of the nicest person I've ever known. He came from a poor southern small town and he joined the Marine Corps when he was only 18 years old. He loved everybody and he definitely is NOT a racist.
But if you ask him how he felt about Affirmative Action, and you’re almost guaranteed to hear that it is “racist against White people” and that it is “unfair” or “reverse discrimination” and that he opposed it. Further, he would tell you that he was, in fact, actually less likely to get a job or a position in a school than a Person of Color because of Affirmative Action policies.
I was not him, so I couldn't judge. I think everybody has different struggles.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say you're white. If you aren't a person of color in this country, you have no idea what day-to-day life is like for them.
You have no idea what my life is like. Those examples given have happened to me on a few occasions. They just assume it's racism, but it's probably just rude people. Unless there are better examples of racism, like unable to get a particular job or promotion, then the rest is just rude people who can be ignored.
A hotel employee ignored their family at the front desk, only to help a white customer in line behind them. Was he racist, or did he just overlook them? A white guy at the airport rolled over Frances’ foot with his suitcase and refused to apologize. Was he racist, or simply rude? Kids at school joked that their son and other black students looked like a gang. When will it end?
The bold example,
As a retailer, I think in this situation, it is SAFE to ASSUME that the employee overlooked them.
NO companies, NO retail shops can afford being labeled "racist". This word alone will be enough to ruin a well established shop or a company. NOT saying there are not racists working in retail, well, they better learn how to hide it if they want to stay in business.
Excellent article, and informative. I have long felt bad for people like this family. They do play by all the rules and yet there are some who only see skin color. While this family lives the good life, there are multitudes of middle class black families who also play by the rules but still get lumped into the ranks of the urban underclass when people can't see past their skin color.
I will note that I am a white conservative guy that differentiates on actions and lifestyles, not color. I have no use for the dysfunctional black urban underclass, and at the same time I have no use for the white trailer trash that are also dysfunctional and self defeating.
Why do you feel bad for Harvard educated lawyers who have lots of wealth and freedom? Because they experience rudeness every once in a while?
So then the question becomes, do you believe these people are lying or are you saying that they are overreacting and that the people they have interacted with are just rude and not racist/prejudice ????
I say they are over sensitive, and the people they're interacting with are rude. Racist, I doubt it. But perhaps prone to stereotypes. But it's freaking harmless. The person being rude is working at a low wage job, and these rich people are mad they didn't get their asses kissed?
I love the United States and know that I have been given opportunities here that I would not have gotten anywhere else on Earth, but.... When we lived in California my husband and son's got pulled over all the time. Two of the times my husband, a military JAG officer, was pulled over because "he was driving suspiciously" he was handcuffed while they called in his license. Handcuffed. A middle aged, well dressed, cooperative, non-violent, polite man who had broken no laws. Not even a mike over the speed limit. I can't begin to tell you how many times he's been pulled over and grilled about the vehicle he was driving. It exists, you just don't think it does because you haven't been subjected to it.
Then what are you complaining about. By your own admission the United States is the only place that allows a person on earth to have a spouse, serve in a military, serve as an officer of a court, drive a car, eat food, and have a f---ing house to sleep in. Because no one in Canada or Israel has experienced these things, running naked, hungry, and homeless as they are. And you want to complain about a minor inconvenience your husband occasionally went through?
1 - I wasn't complaining, I was giving ancedotal evidence that supported the article in response to another poster's comment.
2 - Uhm... I didn't specify what opportunities I have been given that I don't think I could have gotten in other countries. Truth is, almost all our citizens in this country enjoy privileges, opportunities, and access to resources that don't exist elsewhere. We are an affluent country. Saying this does not mean, nor imply, that citizens of other countries do not enjoy a good standard of living.
3 - It isn't a minor inconvenience to be pulled over by the police simply because they think you stole your own car and are made to lay on the ground with your hands up so they can cuff you, then are sat on the side of the road handcuffed for all those passing by to gawk at, while they call in your license and plates over a car that certainly wasn't reported stolen. This all occurs despite the fact that your state issued license with your picture, military ID with your picture, insurance information, and car registration all have the same name and other information on them. It definitely is not minor when it occurs more than once or twice in a lifetime, let alone a year, as was in this case.
Not sure what I wrote that got you in such a a state of outrage but it is not unreasonable for me to point out that while I love this country and think it is totally awesome, it isn't prefect.
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When I post in bold red that is moderator action and, per the TOS, can only be discussed through Direct Message.
I think most of us can think of so many similar examples as the ones articulated in this article. And this same stuff happens in progressive California. Maybe to a lesser degree than in other parts of the US, but I am not immune. There are a lot of stores I boycott because I have been followed around or ignored by sales people.
Those examples of racism don't seem so egregious. Rudeness, everyday bad manners and youthful stupidity. Every person encounters that everyday. I'm sure there are blacks, Mexicans, Orientals that have experienced the real thing but the article's "victims" sound like crybabies.
I am not sure why Black people deserve the same respect when they overwhelmingly support AA which basically says "Black people are inferior and they need government's help otherwise they wouldn't qualify for schools or jobs."
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