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I didn't want to post this on the parenting board because I wanted non parents and parents opinion of this.
I was grocery shopping yesterday when this women and her two kids, a boy and girl, ages about 4-6 came down the aisle. The woman was looking at items as the kids ran down the aisle screeching. Okay, they are little kids, so I just ignore the noise...although I wondered why she didn't tell them to stop screeching. Then I notice they are tearing down the little "reduced" tags, methodically. These are the little plastic tags some poor night worker spent hours putting up the night before, I am guessing. Soon the boy is right in front of me, actually kind of pushed right in front of me as I am examining the asian condiment section looking for black bean sauce. The mother is not paying attention. The little girl is a few feet down pulling these tags off, one after another as fast as she can and throwing them on the floor. The little boy is now stepping on my toe. I looked at the mother, hoping that she would notice her brats needed attending but she was absorbed in tuna selection. In a normal voice I said to the boy "Don't do that." At the same time I backed up to remove my foot from being stepped on.
The mother's head swung in my direction at the speed of light. Upon reflection, I imagine she has heard this phrase in regards to her kids quite a few times.
She said in a rather loud voice "Don't you talk to him like that!" I was kind of shocked, as I have a pretty soft voice usually and intentionally did not raise my voice as I didn't want to be be a jerk in the first place. Honestly, if the kid had not stepped on my foot, I probably would not have said anything....although I think people should stop bad behavior in a public place if the mother is not aware or is to lame to do it herself. I told her they were pulling the tags off and throwing them on the floor. She looked at all the tags, probably about 40-50 then grabbed the kids arm and stalked away while calling me an as-hole that needed to mind my own business.
You could have knocked me over with a feather. I was not mean to the kid, the kids were doing something wrong and she calls ME the as-hole?
When my daughter was little I would have been grateful if someone told her not to do something that was clearly wrong. I would have thanked them then told her apologize, then explained to her why it was wrong.
I was not being cranky, loud or mean. I actually put a little smile on my face before I spoke to the kid so I wouldn't scare him.
This bugged me all afternoon. I don't feel I did anything wrong, what bugged me was this woman's crappy attitude.
How many of you would be mad if a stranger reprimanded you kid? Or would you appreciate it? I have no way of knowing if this woman was just having a bad day....but I doubt it. I would not call a person I didn't know an as-hole unless they did something pretty bad to me.
I worry that this is not a rare thing for more and more parents...The "my child can do no wrong, it's your fault"....Hope I'm wrong.
I worry that this is not a rare thing for more and more parents...The "my child can do no wrong, it's your fault"....Hope I'm wrong.
Unfortunately, I don't think you are.
Several days ago, on this forum, I recounted a story about an unruly child in a restaurant, and how I decided to handle it. Upshot of it was the mother didn't want to hear ANYTHING about how her kid was annoying others. So, I took matters into my own hands (or foot), and proceeded to trip the kid as he was screaming down the aisle. OOPS.
This kid wasn't hurt at all in the fall, I made sure of that. But, interesting enough, this mother had no clue what I had done, because she wasn't looking. When precious poopsie hit the linoleum and began crying, she looked over at me, and I just shrugged.
Not too long ago, I was in a plane for the short ride from LA to Reno. I was next to a woman (about my age, mid-30s) and her daughter. The daughter was screaming about one thing or another the entire time that we were waiting at the gate. I proceeded to put a movie on my PSP at the loudest it would do to drown out this little kid. The mother had the nerve to poke me on the arm and say, "oh, you don't have kids, do you?".
I lied and said, "yes, I do, in fact."
I figured, even if she pressed me, I would have no problems talking to her about how *my* kids don't have issues with not disrupting others, especially at the age of 6 or 7. Interestingly, once I said I had kids, she shut up and shut her kid up.
In terms of disciplining other people's kids, I don't think that would go over well, at all. If people are unwilling to see that their rugrats are disturbing others, they're certainly not going to take kindly to other people telling them that they are.
It's unfortunate. But, again, so much of this has to do with our "me, me, me" society.
Yup..it's especially annoying when at restaurants and the kids in the booth next to you are screaming and whining and the parents do absolutely nothing.
I've asked for the manager and asked to be seated somewhere else because I could not enjoy my meal with screaming children right next to me and I make sure I say it loud and clear. Doesn't phase these people whatsoever.
I didn't want to post this on the parenting board because I wanted non parents and parents opinion of this.
I was grocery shopping yesterday when this women and her two kids, a boy and girl, ages about 4-6 came down the aisle. The woman was looking at items as the kids ran down the aisle screeching. Okay, they are little kids, so I just ignore the noise...although I wondered why she didn't tell them to stop screeching. Then I notice they are tearing down the little "reduced" tags, methodically. These are the little plastic tags some poor night worker spent hours putting up the night before, I am guessing. Soon the boy is right in front of me, actually kind of pushed right in front of me as I am examining the asian condiment section looking for black bean sauce. The mother is not paying attention. The little girl is a few feet down pulling these tags off, one after another as fast as she can and throwing them on the floor. The little boy is now stepping on my toe. I looked at the mother, hoping that she would notice her brats needed attending but she was absorbed in tuna selection. In a normal voice I said to the boy "Don't do that." At the same time I backed up to remove my foot from being stepped on.
The mother's head swung in my direction at the speed of light. Upon reflection, I imagine she has heard this phrase in regards to her kids quite a few times.
She said in a rather loud voice "Don't you talk to him like that!" I was kind of shocked, as I have a pretty soft voice usually and intentionally did not raise my voice as I didn't want to be be a jerk in the first place. Honestly, if the kid had not stepped on my foot, I probably would not have said anything....although I think people should stop bad behavior in a public place if the mother is not aware or is to lame to do it herself. I told her they were pulling the tags off and throwing them on the floor. She looked at all the tags, probably about 40-50 then grabbed the kids arm and stalked away while calling me an as-hole that needed to mind my own business.
You could have knocked me over with a feather. I was not mean to the kid, the kids were doing something wrong and she calls ME the as-hole?
When my daughter was little I would have been grateful if someone told her not to do something that was clearly wrong. I would have thanked them then told her apologize, then explained to her why it was wrong.
I was not being cranky, loud or mean. I actually put a little smile on my face before I spoke to the kid so I wouldn't scare him.
This bugged me all afternoon. I don't feel I did anything wrong, what bugged me was this woman's crappy attitude.
How many of you would be mad if a stranger reprimanded you kid? Or would you appreciate it? I have no way of knowing if this woman was just having a bad day....but I doubt it. I would not call a person I didn't know an as-hole unless they did something pretty bad to me.
I worry that this is not a rare thing for more and more parents...The "my child can do no wrong, it's your fault"....Hope I'm wrong.
If she would "talk to him like that," you wouldn't have to!
The best course of action there would've been to address the parent, not the child.
Simply inform them that their child is pulling tags off the shelf.
"Excuse me, while your back was turned, your boy over there was tearing store tags off the shelf. You might want to do something".
If they get indignant about that, well, they're low-life trash. Whether you choose to call them that or not is up to you. Personally, if they were to get testy with me for pointing something like that out, I most likely would definitely call them low life trash right to their face and dare them to do anything about it. But that's just me.
I didn't want to post this on the parenting board because I wanted non parents and parents opinion of this.
I was grocery shopping yesterday when this women and her two kids, a boy and girl, ages about 4-6 came down the aisle. The woman was looking at items as the kids ran down the aisle screeching. Okay, they are little kids, so I just ignore the noise...although I wondered why she didn't tell them to stop screeching. Then I notice they are tearing down the little "reduced" tags, methodically. These are the little plastic tags some poor night worker spent hours putting up the night before, I am guessing. Soon the boy is right in front of me, actually kind of pushed right in front of me as I am examining the asian condiment section looking for black bean sauce. The mother is not paying attention. The little girl is a few feet down pulling these tags off, one after another as fast as she can and throwing them on the floor. The little boy is now stepping on my toe. I looked at the mother, hoping that she would notice her brats needed attending but she was absorbed in tuna selection. In a normal voice I said to the boy "Don't do that." At the same time I backed up to remove my foot from being stepped on.
The mother's head swung in my direction at the speed of light. Upon reflection, I imagine she has heard this phrase in regards to her kids quite a few times.
She said in a rather loud voice "Don't you talk to him like that!" I was kind of shocked, as I have a pretty soft voice usually and intentionally did not raise my voice as I didn't want to be be a jerk in the first place. Honestly, if the kid had not stepped on my foot, I probably would not have said anything....although I think people should stop bad behavior in a public place if the mother is not aware or is to lame to do it herself. I told her they were pulling the tags off and throwing them on the floor. She looked at all the tags, probably about 40-50 then grabbed the kids arm and stalked away while calling me an as-hole that needed to mind my own business.
You could have knocked me over with a feather. I was not mean to the kid, the kids were doing something wrong and she calls ME the as-hole?
When my daughter was little I would have been grateful if someone told her not to do something that was clearly wrong. I would have thanked them then told her apologize, then explained to her why it was wrong.
I was not being cranky, loud or mean. I actually put a little smile on my face before I spoke to the kid so I wouldn't scare him.
This bugged me all afternoon. I don't feel I did anything wrong, what bugged me was this woman's crappy attitude.
How many of you would be mad if a stranger reprimanded you kid? Or would you appreciate it? I have no way of knowing if this woman was just having a bad day....but I doubt it. I would not call a person I didn't know an as-hole unless they did something pretty bad to me.
I worry that this is not a rare thing for more and more parents...The "my child can do no wrong, it's your fault"....Hope I'm wrong.
I know you didnt' want mommies to comment..but I have to..
I'm the mom of a 2 year old..
First.. I feel you did nothing wrong.. as long as your tone was even tempered and you said it nicely like "honey. you shouldn't do that.. or please stop".. I'm sure you did .. I wouldn't have a problem with that.. but if I took the persons tone as angry or well.. cranky like ,I might take some offense.. although I would have stopped my child BEFORE he got to the point that a stranger felt the need to step in.. atleast I hope I would.
If I was that mother.. First, I would have my youngest in the cart to keep him in check. If I had another older child around he would have to stand right next to the cart and holding on to the cart and behave himself. I can see how it's tough for her to both shop for what she eneds, however, and keep little bundles full of energy in check. If my child behaved that way and I found that he did something like you described I would have been embarassed..looked at you embarassed and apologized and then reprimanded my child at the same time. I would HATE to have my kid act out like that in public.. because I want my kids to have manners and respect for others. I really would have turned ot you and apologized for their behavior..
But.. perhaps you just caught that mom at a bad time on a bad day and she was at her wits end.. I can only imagine.. I know when I have two kids I WILL not go to the store unless the husband was home to take care of them OR I would shop online and have it delivered (a luxury my mom didn't have.. how she did it with 3 kids about 2 years apart each is BEYOND me!! ). Perhaps she really was embarassed for their behavior and the only way she knew how to deal was with that knee jerk reaction.. as wrong as it was.. or perhaps her interpretation of your words to her kids was that you were being hostile.. who knows.. I would wonder , if you saw her again.. if her kids were acting that same way..
But don't sweat it.. you did nothing wrong.. really..
The best course of action there would've been to address the parent, not the child.
Simply inform them that their child is pulling tags off the shelf.
"Excuse me, while your back was turned, your boy over there was tearing store tags off the shelf. You might want to do something".
If they get indignant about that, well, they're low-life trash. Whether you choose to call them that or not is up to you. Personally, if they were to get testy with me for pointing something like that out, I most likely would definitely call them low life trash right to their face and dare them to do anything about it. But that's just me.
(I really, really dislike people like that)
Actually that's a good way to handle it.. (i wouldn't call them low life trash..but the first part was good..LOL)
I know you didnt' want mommies to comment..but I have to..
I'm the mom of a 2 year old..
First.. I feel you did nothing wrong.. as long as your tone was even tempered and you said it nicely like "honey. you shouldn't do that.. or please stop".. I'm sure you did .. I wouldn't have a problem with that.. but if I took the persons tone as angry or well.. cranky like ,I might take some offense.. although I would have stopped my child BEFORE he got to the point that a stranger felt the need to step in.. atleast I hope I would.
If I was that mother.. First, I would have my youngest in the cart to keep him in check. If I had another older child around he would have to stand right next to the cart and holding on to the cart and behave himself. I can see how it's tough for her to both shop for what she eneds, however, and keep little bundles full of energy in check. If my child behaved that way and I found that he did something like you described I would have been embarassed..looked at you embarassed and apologized and then reprimanded my child at the same time. I would HATE to have my kid act out like that in public.. because I want my kids to have manners and respect for others. I really would have turned ot you and apologized for their behavior..
But.. perhaps you just caught that mom at a bad time on a bad day and she was at her wits end.. I can only imagine.. I know when I have two kids I WILL not go to the store unless the husband was home to take care of them OR I would shop online and have it delivered (a luxury my mom didn't have.. how she did it with 3 kids about 2 years apart each is BEYOND me!! ). Perhaps she really was embarassed for their behavior and the only way she knew how to deal was with that knee jerk reaction.. as wrong as it was.. or perhaps her interpretation of your words to her kids was that you were being hostile.. who knows.. I would wonder , if you saw her again.. if her kids were acting that same way..
But don't sweat it.. you did nothing wrong.. really..
I guess I wasn't clear. I want parents and non-parents to comment. Thanks for telling me I was not in the wrong. I sure didn't feel guilty!
I think what you did is appropriate. I actually would have taken it a step further and went and found the manager of the store or an employee and have had them speak to the woman. I don't think they would appreciate her children's actions anymore than you did.
I would start talking to the can of black beans loud enough to be herd. Telling them that its not the childs fault that there mom is a ass. Than I would put the can back wishing it a good day than keep shopping.
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