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Educate yourself about what "rape culture" means, and then come back to have a more informed discussion if you are still interested.
And in the meantime, perhaps someone would like to explain what the 5 year old in this case should have done differently? Apparently she must have been quite the little seductress since the rapist is only being convicted of statutory rape, and not the violent physical rape of a 5 year old child, not anything that would require, you know, jail time or anything.
Or perhaps you can explain how the a very small percentage of men who are rapists represents a rape culture.
We do have a culture that will make excuses for just about any crime, but fortunately rape is one where the rapist is loathed by all.
I haven't seen a posts that suggests that all rapes are preventable, or that rape victims are at fault.
This will be my last post on this thread because there is no discussion . Its an all or nothing free for all. What I do know is that my daughter is my greatest treasure. I did all I can as a dad to secure her safety in a world that tends to blame society for the behavior of thugs.
I will not be shamed or guilted for having her train in martial arts and teaching her how to use a firearm. I don't care if she walks down Main Street at 2 am in her bra and panties, she doesn't deserve to be raped. If she did do something so stupid she would be guilty of being stupid, not inviting rape.
No matter what the crime there are things we can to to minimize our risks. Don't want to be robbed? Don't advertise that you have a wallet full of cash.
Dont want your car stolen? Don't park it with the doors unlocked and a key in the ignition.
Dont want your baby stolen? Don't leave the child unattended in public places.
No victims of the crimes I listed deserve to be victims or asked for it or were willing partners. All these crimes can happen no matter how many precautions are taken. Some happen because the victim took no precautions, and that is all any of us are saying.
What people are saying is that precautions CAN BE USELESS.
Nobody says otherwise.
Quote:
Most women absolutely do take precautions. Rapes that occur by strangers where a woman is drunk, walking alone down a dark ally in hooker clothes is the rare event.
Sexual encounters where a woman is drunk, that she later feels very bad about to the point that she feels raped, appear to be commonplace judging by media reports.
Quote:
I guess that 8 month old should have kept her diaper on, as well the 84 year old woman. Living dangerously, those two.
And then the mic drop, right? Go ahead and live as dangerously as you like.
Actually they do. Officers will suggest safe houses or counseling.
Can't argue with that.
Suggesting a safe house and counseling is not saying to the victim of rape well maybe if you had not been wearing that, or had not been drinking or not been alone you would not have been raped. They don't tell you in the future dress more conservatively, stay sober and don't go out alone and you reduce your chances of being raped.
Of course they refer victims to counselors and programs they do not counsel victims themselves.
Ok, do you really think prison guards or police offers don't victim blame when someone gets their azz kicked for acting stupid? You don't think a cop, judge or an attorney has ever pointed out that maybe one's actions encouraged a crime other than rape? I'm literally laughing at the ignorance of some of these posts. What planet do these people live on? Seriously, watch one episode of cops or judge Judy if you're this confused.
No I don't believe cops, judges or attorneys go to the extent of blaming victims of assault, domestic violence etc.
Your still talking about T.V. shows and events someone captured on their cell phone.
Or perhaps you can explain how the a very small percentage of men who are rapists represents a rape culture.
We do have a culture that will make excuses for just about any crime, but fortunately rape is one where the rapist is loathed by all.
I haven't seen a posts that suggests that all rapes are preventable, or that rape victims are at fault.
This will be my last post on this thread because there is no discussion . Its an all or nothing free for all. What I do know is that my daughter is my greatest treasure. I did all I can as a dad to secure her safety in a world that tends to blame society for the behavior of thugs.
I will not be shamed or guilted for having her train in martial arts and teaching her how to use a firearm. I don't care if she walks down Main Street at 2 am in her bra and panties, she doesn't deserve to be raped. If she did do something so stupid she would be guilty of being stupid, not inviting rape.
No matter what the crime there are things we can to to minimize our risks. Don't want to be robbed? Don't advertise that you have a wallet full of cash.
Dont want your car stolen? Don't park it with the doors unlocked and a key in the ignition.
Dont want your baby stolen? Don't leave the child unattended in public places.
No victims of the crimes I listed deserve to be victims or asked for it or were willing partners. All these crimes can happen no matter how many precautions are taken. Some happen because the victim took no precautions, and that is all any of us are saying.
Until you educate yourself about what the term rape culture actually means, then no, there is no discussion. You can't discuss something that you do not understand.
Say I'm walking through the ghetto at night and I get mugged. Well, perhaps I shouldn't have walked through the ghetto at night alone huh?
Say I'm a girl who decides to get drunk and high on God knows what drugs in the middle of a bunch of hypersexualized jocks who have always been taught that girls were just playthings.
Why is it that we can't bring up some basic common sense safety tips without being accused of victim blaming?
Because people aren't smart enough to see that there are two things going on. 1. putting yourself in a situation for many bad things to happen to you and 2. the actual sexual assualt. And yes they are linked. That is not an excuse for the rapist, they are at fault. But the victim does bear responsibility for putting themselves in a bad situation. No, that does not mean they 'deserve' to be raped. But its not completely binary where its all one person's fault.
I think a huge part of why this is so difficult to talk about, is the difference between RESPONSIBILITY and other concepts such as blame, fault, liability, what one "deserves" or "invites" etc.
I've told this story before but it's been years, so here we go. Story time. I was 14 (I think, or else 15, teen years kind of a blur at this point.) I was bored one night and got the brilliant idea that my Mom and I should dress hot and go walk around a carnival that had set up in a stripmall parking lot nearby, late at night. You know what I was thinking of? The movie, "The Lost Boys." I wanted to be like the character, Star, so bad...*sigh*...the dreams of youth huh? Anyways. So we did this. My Mom was more the "BFF" type than the "responsible Mom" type. She was always up for an adventure. We caught the attention of two men who also happened to be illegal immigrants from rural Mexico. I only mention that, because there was a very big language and culture disconnect, which probably at least contributed to what happened later. We eventually ended up paired off with these men and my Mom drove us all back to our house. She went to her bedroom with the man she'd been hanging out with. I was left alone in the living room with the one I'd been hanging out with. Who was a 28 year old man, by the way. We started messing around, but for whatever reason I suddenly felt bad about it. Really bad. Panicked bad. I wanted to stop. I said no, tried to pull away from him. He got forceful. I gave in when I saw he wasn't going to take no for an answer, because I didn't want to end up beaten up and THEN raped.
After that, he fell asleep on the couch, I went to a bathroom and washed myself until my skin was red, and then locked myself in my room. I did not feel broken or damaged or terrified or tormented or horrified...I felt kind of grossed out, and the best analogy is if you stepped in dog poop with a bare foot. It's disgusting, sure, but you wash it off and get on with your life. That's exactly what I did.
I did not consider it rape, really (at the time.) After all. I invited him into that situation. I gave in instead of fighting until absolutely subdued. I got past it. I did learn a thing or three about what situations one puts oneself in. Nothing remotely similar has happened to me since then. And you know what? I felt very empowered by deciding to take it as a learning experience. I could have been beaten up, or killed, caught AIDS or something. But none of that happened. As a life lesson, it could have cost me much more than it did.
That is taking responsibility. I learned from it. I acknowledged that my choices led to it happening. I changed the choices I made going forward.
What I won't do, is take blame, or fault, or say I deserved that, or anything of the sort. I don't punish myself for that incident. I know that the choices of others, my Mom and that guy, played their part, too. None of that un-rings the bell, though. I really do not believe that man thinks he did anything wrong. In his cultural outlook on life from not just another country but the back back mountain woods territory of another country, he only took what was on offer, and me saying "no" was probably some last ditch effort to seem like a "good" girl. Who knows what he was thinking. I don't, and it doesn't matter. My ex used to say he wanted to find him and kill him. I didn't want anything like that, I just wanted him forgotten and far away, which is exactly how that ended up. Just a stupid, naive youthful mistake in the past where it belongs.
It's pretty pointless to blame victims for what happened to them. People who like to blame the victim are just idiots.
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Go ahead and live as dangerously as you like. 
