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He should have backed up and closed the door then buzzed himself in. That's what a normal gentleman would do. That would have been the end of it. But this guy was having none of it.
Btw, this is not exhibiting excellent self control. This is a lying sob who is probably looking for a payday.
When asked what he thinks of the woman in the video, Toles said, "I have nothing bad to say about her. I'm not going to bash her. I have nothing to say about her, not going to go after her legally. Just let her live her life. I'd even have a conversation with her. The only thing I can say is, to everybody else, don't even spend negative energy that way. Just send her positive vibes. Send her positive vibrations, ok?"
I would key in again for someone who looks and sounds as tipsy as that woman. Because I know drunk folks can go sorta bonkers without warning.
But, for someone who appeared to be sober? Nope. She could kiss my ass.
But if she was leaving and opening the door she may not have seen you key in so it is appropriate to think you may not have done so. It would take five seconds to let her leave and do it again. It is a simple thing and helps protect all the residents.
If I owned a building like this the rule would be 100% everyone keys in every time. And if someone is leaving, let them close the door, then key in. Simple.
Here is what I don't get about this arguing that he was in the wrong.
it's a "Keycard" all he had to do is swipe. A keypad is generally a backup if your card does not work.
he had one. Maybe she didn't see him card in as she was exiting, but...
he politely told her that her had already carded in. She should have left it at that.
she saw that same card when he dropped it. She should have left it at that.
she followed him to his apartment and watched him use a metal key to open his door. She should have left it at that.
People are complaining that she shouldn't have been fired or that it was the man's fault. She had plenty of chances to let it drop, but didn't. Her getting fired is entirely her own fault.
It's not to "please" her, it's to do the right thing, just being a decent human and neighbor. He could have done so and introduced himself at the same time and just be a good guy. Some of you sound like spoiled brats with this. I would do it for her no problem - most decent people would.
Maybe. It would depend on how the person approached me. If they were nice about it, sure.
But honestly if i was buzzing into my apartment and some person with an attitude approached me demanding I do it again in front of them to “prove” something, then no.
Especially if I have my keys in my hand and they can see them. Now you’re just being a jerk. That’s a you problem lol.
Maybe. It would depend on how the person approached me. If they were nice about it, sure.
But honestly if i was buzzing into my apartment and some person with an attitude approached me demanding I do it again in front of them to “prove” something, then no.
Especially if I have my keys in my hand and they can see them. Now you’re just being a jerk. That’s a you problem lol.
No she opened the door to leave and etiquette would be that he let her leave and then buzz or key or swipe in - even if he already did. It has nothing to do with attitude. He should have stepped aside and let her leave. I don't know why this kind of thing is so difficult but it is why we need to keep having more rules in society which reduces freedom and infantilizes us. This whole thing is about some guy's ego and sense of victimhood and it's pathetic.
No she opened the door to leave and etiquette would be that he let her leave and then buzz or key or swipe in - even if he already did. It has nothing to do with attitude. He should have stepped aside and let her leave. I don't know why this kind of thing is so difficult but it is why we need to keep having more rules in society which reduces freedom and infantilizes us. This whole thing is about some guy's ego and sense of victimhood and it's pathetic.
If he already swiped the card, then reached for the door just as she was opening it, why should he swipe the card again?
If he already swiped the card, then reached for the door just as she was opening it, why should he swipe the card again?
In some places I've been, that wouldn't even work. I've been in places where the system tallied "ins" and "outs" (so that everyone in the facility at any point in time is recorded for audit), and once you've been buzzed in, it won't recognize your card again except as an "out."
I’m not an apartment dweller but I imagine most buildings with long time tenants have people who watch everything and are considered snoopy. A 24 year old is bound to be questioned more often than someone a little older. You want to see it as racial go ahead...and set race relations back just a little more every little conflict like this.
You cannot force people to trust or respect you, that is something that needs to be earned. That is human nature.
If I tell someone that I live in the building, so please allow me to go home, and they say no, and they are not the police or owner--that is a problem and it would not be mine.
She ought to thank the guy for not calling the police on her.
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