Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have a question for many of the non-white people on this board -
Do you ever find it patronizing, insulting, condescending or just plain weird that some white people love to brag on social media or in person about their supposed friendships, cultural events they've attended or books they've read related to experiences of nonwhites?
To give my question more context, here are a few examples to further illustrate my point:
1. A few years ago, I worked in a office where 5 of us were white and there was 1 black woman. For some reason, whenever the black woman was in the room, one of the white women would always talk about some African American cultural event she had attended/or will attend over the weekend. Strangely enough, when the black woman left the company, I rarely heard about this white woman's cultural events anymore.
2. When Doug Jones beat Roy Moore in the special senate election, apparently a very high percentage of black women had voted for Jones (I think it was around 98%). After the election is seemed like every white person who supported Jones was "thanking black women" for the victory. Honestly, it was so over the top it
seemed a bit patronizing to me
3. I have a white facebook friend who loves to brag about books she's read by "POC" authors - and she believes that she's woke because she understands racism and multiculturalism better than the rest of us. She also lives in New Hampshire and has never actually lived in a town or neighborhood or visited a country where non-whites are in the majority.
4. I'm white and my wife is Indian so I asked her about the same question earlier today and she said "No, it doesn't bother me, but we think it's funny." She also told me a story about how some whites in the US have been surprised that she didn't hold certain views on politics and race
I'm just wondering what other non-whites think the same way as my wife.
Trying to understand life experiences and thoughts from a racial point of view is not patronizing. Being offended or laughing at someone trying to understand is not helpful though.
My question for you is it patronizing to claim to carry hot sauce with you everywhere you go?
I have a question for many of the non-white people on this board -
Do you ever find it patronizing, insulting, condescending or just plain weird that some white people love to brag on social media or in person about their supposed friendships, cultural events they've attended or books they've read related to experiences of nonwhites?
To give my question more context, here are a few examples to further illustrate my point:
1. A few years ago, I worked in a office where 5 of us were white and there was 1 black woman. For some reason, whenever the black woman was in the room, one of the white women would always talk about some African American cultural event she had attended/or will attend over the weekend. Strangely enough, when the black woman left the company, I rarely heard about this white woman's cultural events anymore.
2. When Doug Jones beat Roy Moore in the special senate election, apparently a very high percentage of black women had voted for Jones (I think it was around 98%). After the election is seemed like every white person who supported Jones was "thanking black women" for the victory. Honestly, it was so over the top it
seemed a bit patronizing to me
3. I have a white facebook friend who loves to brag about books she's read by "POC" authors - and she believes that she's woke because she understands racism and multiculturalism better than the rest of us. She also lives in New Hampshire and has never actually lived in a town or neighborhood or visited a country where non-whites are in the majority.
4. I'm white and my wife is Indian so I asked her about the same question earlier today and she said "No, it doesn't bother me, but we think it's funny." She also told me a story about how some whites in the US have been surprised that she didn't hold certain views on politics and race
I'm just wondering what other non-whites think the same way as my wife.
As a white person employed among majority non whites in many instances was no different.
Just trying to make me feel comfortable....................
Why?
Why not.........................
Well, I can’t say it’s more than mildly amusing/annoying. I don’t really focus on it, I have a life to live lol.
Usually I just assume the person means well and keep it moving, unless they are making a big annoying fake show of it in which case I roll my eyes and avoid them in the future.
I think it’s cool, it’s not often other people try to connect with me on a cultural level. As it’s obvious in my name I’m not African American and so if someone talks about a Nigerian movie, artist etcetera it’s rare and this very cool if they know or care about those things. My personal opinion.
Well, I can’t say it’s more than mildly amusing/annoying. I don’t really focus on it, I have a life to live lol.
Usually I just assume the person means well and keep it moving, unless they are making a big annoying fake show of it in which case I roll my eyes and avoid them in the future.
If someone seems genuine it’s nice.
That's how I see it. When around others regardless of race we either have a job to do, a life to live etc. I've noticed people became hyper focused on race when Obama became president. What ever
I think it’s cool, it’s not often other people try to connect with me on a cultural level. As it’s obvious in my name I’m not African American and so if someone talks about a Nigerian movie, artist etcetera it’s rare and this very cool if they know or care about those things. My personal opinion.
I doubt that most Americans have even heard of a Nigerian movie. lol
I have a question for many of the non-white people on this board -
Do you ever find it patronizing, insulting, condescending or just plain weird that some white people love to brag on social media or in person about their supposed friendships, cultural events they've attended or books they've read related to experiences of nonwhites?
To give my question more context, here are a few examples to further illustrate my point:
1. A few years ago, I worked in a office where 5 of us were white and there was 1 black woman. For some reason, whenever the black woman was in the room, one of the white women would always talk about some African American cultural event she had attended/or will attend over the weekend. Strangely enough, when the black woman left the company, I rarely heard about this white woman's cultural events anymore.
2. When Doug Jones beat Roy Moore in the special senate election, apparently a very high percentage of black women had voted for Jones (I think it was around 98%). After the election is seemed like every white person who supported Jones was "thanking black women" for the victory. Honestly, it was so over the top it
seemed a bit patronizing to me
3. I have a white facebook friend who loves to brag about books she's read by "POC" authors - and she believes that she's woke because she understands racism and multiculturalism better than the rest of us. She also lives in New Hampshire and has never actually lived in a town or neighborhood or visited a country where non-whites are in the majority.
4. I'm white and my wife is Indian so I asked her about the same question earlier today and she said "No, it doesn't bother me, but we think it's funny." She also told me a story about how some whites in the US have been surprised that she didn't hold certain views on politics and race
I'm just wondering what other non-whites think the same way as my wife.
My experience is the opposite of yours and I run in very different circles than you do.
I'm an Asian American who has spent my entire life in majority white environments (suburban New Orleans, blue collar Baltimore suburb, semi-rural West Virginia, and exurban Baton Rouge) and none of this has ever happened with me. VERY occasionally someone would ask me what the best Chinese restaurant but never beyond that. I've always been seen as very assimilated and American. I'm in that situation where I'm usually someone's only Asian friend, and often their own minority friend period. I AM always told that within 2 minutes of meeting me people don't see me as Asian and just as a "regular person".
I don't have the kind of social circles where people would seek out "black female experiences" etc just to feel "worldly." I'm surrounded by regular, ordinary all-American folks.
A small number of people do find it interesting (but cool) that I like things like country music and shooting guns. People never really mention Asian things around me besides food. They always talk about very all-American events (including one hit wonder country songs from the late 80s) and references and just expect me to know them and I always do actually.......
So I'm actually truly glad that my color has never been an issue and people for the most part have treated me no differently. Some people find this very heart to believe, especially since I come from, have always lived in, and am part of "Trump country". But I do feel I'm treated like a regular American just like anyone else. Honestly conservative white people try to set me up with their daughters. NOT kidding. My friends and acqaintances know I'm assimilated enough that they can talk to me about how upset they are about New Orleans removing the Confederate monuments, and know that I'll agree with them.
The only people who love bringing up my race are liberals and other minorities who are like "how can you of all people" support Trump ,or oppose the Dream Act, want a wall, am against Colin Kaepernick, etc etc etc.
Though one thing I HAVE been told by several of my closest friends do tell me is that they wish more minorities (and descendents of immigrants) are like me and my family. And I can definitely see where they're coming from. I truly and proud to be American and truly believe in the American Dream (because myself and my family HAVE proudly achieved it) and even I resent how so some immigrants and minorities trash our country, claim the American Dream is a lie, etc etc etc. I think myself and my family are a living example of why America is exceptional.
Last edited by Tom Lennox 70; 02-04-2019 at 08:19 AM..
I have a question for many of the non-white people on this board -
Do you ever find it patronizing, insulting, condescending or just plain weird that some white people love to brag on social media or in person about their supposed friendships, cultural events they've attended or books they've read related to experiences of nonwhites?
To give my question more context, here are a few examples to further illustrate my point:
1. A few years ago, I worked in a office where 5 of us were white and there was 1 black woman. For some reason, whenever the black woman was in the room, one of the white women would always talk about some African American cultural event she had attended/or will attend over the weekend. Strangely enough, when the black woman left the company, I rarely heard about this white woman's cultural events anymore.
2. When Doug Jones beat Roy Moore in the special senate election, apparently a very high percentage of black women had voted for Jones (I think it was around 98%). After the election is seemed like every white person who supported Jones was "thanking black women" for the victory. Honestly, it was so over the top it
seemed a bit patronizing to me
3. I have a white facebook friend who loves to brag about books she's read by "POC" authors - and she believes that she's woke because she understands racism and multiculturalism better than the rest of us. She also lives in New Hampshire and has never actually lived in a town or neighborhood or visited a country where non-whites are in the majority.
4. I'm white and my wife is Indian so I asked her about the same question earlier today and she said "No, it doesn't bother me, but we think it's funny." She also told me a story about how some whites in the US have been surprised that she didn't hold certain views on politics and race
I'm just wondering what other non-whites think the same way as my wife.
No - I find it funny.
I'll also note that liberals do this more than conservatives since we are in a political forum.
Conservatives though like to brag about their black friends and how they went to a black church or helped some black person via a charity.
All of it is just funny to me. I expect it and I joke about it with my friends (including white friends and I encourage them not to be like this).
Reading way, way too much into all this. Use some common sense, you know if someone is authentically being kind or tolerant. Most people are decent if you give them half a chance.
Seems to me you are LOOKING for a problem, and if so you will always find one. In my workplace, we have way too much work to do to spend any energy thinking about all this stuff.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
