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I had a condition called adenomyosis, which caused me to bleed uncontrollably for months and months on end. My gynecologist tried every treatment possible. There was no way I could have known when I was menstruating after about a year of this. IF I had decided to have intercourse, I could have possibly gotten pregnant. It was unlikely, but Mother Nature does often prevail. Things are not always so cut and dried and black and white.
When I was a young adult, my period would often go way "off course" just from traveling or being under duress. Being sick would cause my cycle to get thrown off by a week or more. When I was in college, I often missed a pill because I was so busy with classes, etc. It's easy to do. Doesn't make a person an "idiot." It makes them a fallible human being.
I had a condition called adenomyosis, which caused me to bleed uncontrollably for months and months on end. My gynecologist tried every treatment possible. There was no way I could have known when I was menstruating after about a year of this. IF I had decided to have intercourse, I could have possibly gotten pregnant. It was unlikely, but Mother Nature does often prevail. Things are not always so cut and dried and black and white.
When I was a young adult, my period would often go way "off course" just from traveling or being under duress. Being sick would cause my cycle to get thrown off by a week or more. When I was in college, I often missed a pill because I was so busy with classes, etc. It's easy to do. Doesn't make a person an "idiot." It makes them a fallible human being.
wow I’m sorry that happened to u!many women have irregular menstrual cycles & conditions like PCOS which just throw everything completely off
Yet the man is on the hook for 18 years because the woman lied. What’s good for one is good for the other if one is going to be charged with not wearing a condom when they said they would…but since it’s the woman lying it’s okay
Seems so. If you dislike a law, get involved. Otherwise, yes, once a baby is born and has needs outside a womb, the father is also responsible.
He could always try being responsible in advance by insisting on wearing a condom. Isn't that your advice to women? That they should be more responsible? Seems if the man doesn't want to be "on the hook," so does he.
I don't much like the "exceptions for rape/incest" rationale. How many desperate women are gonna make accusations if that is the law in a given state? They won't make it "if your accused is convicted you can abort" because by the time it gets through a trial she probably already had the kid. I don't believe false accusations to be extremely common right now, but you're throwing a big motivation for women to do that down, with that.
I've been saying that if it were up to me, the law would permit abortion for any reason, none asked for, up to 12 weeks. That's the procedure (done from 5 1/2 weeks to 12 weeks) involving taking two pills to induce miscarriage. The more invasive surgical procedure (done after 12 weeks) would only be done in a hospital for a medical emergency. That is the best compromise, and the easiest, that I can imagine. Legislate by procedure. Pills versus surgical removal. And if it is an medical emergency one, if the baby's life can be saved, then it would be. It wouldn't necessarily always be "abortion" so much as "save both if possible, the mother if not."
Why can't women just be more responsible with birth control? The answers are as varied as the individuals. Some are teenagers who don't know how to get birth control, or may not know how to use it properly, or may be persuaded by a guy that she doesn't need it and it's fine. Do you know how many guys I've had tell me that they "couldn't get a girl pregnant, they were infertile" and the only reason they thought this, is that they'd had unprotected sex at some point and it didn't happen then, they say, so it must not be a problem. Guys say ridiculous things to get laid sometimes.
Think I read that a hefty number, like over 40% IIRC, of teen pregnancies were caused by men in their 20s or older, too.
Then there's rape, and stealthing. Birth control methods failing.
Frankly, some of these things you could say that women ought to know better, but yanno, not all women are smart. Not all men are smart, either...but we seem to expect a higher bar for women. Women are individuals of a wide spectrum of intelligence and mental health levels, though.
But I can say why I would have gotten an abortion, if I hadn't miscarried, the one time. I'd had my tubes tied. I was TRYING to be responsible. My doc told me that as soon as I felt healed and able, I was free to enjoy sex and not worry about conception. What she should have told me, was to wait a full menstrual cycle. I was towards the end of my first period following the surgery and felt well enough to have sex, and I did. Must've had a "round in the chamber" so to speak, that had not yet been cast out. I knew pretty much right away, and tests confirmed it. I had scheduled my visit with Planned Parenthood and educated myself on the subject. But I had to wait until 5 1/2 weeks. They don't actually DO abortions of any kind prior to that point. Fortunately, at 5 weeks, nature took care of it... Which is what happens in 60-70% of conceptions, for those who are not aware...they spontaneously miscarry by 5 weeks.
Which is the other worry I have about states having bans. That some women (even if it's unwarranted) will be so afraid of being treated like a criminal or investigated like one, that they will not seek medical treatment for a miscarriage even if their lives are in danger. Women will die because of some of these laws being passed in certain states. But those who oppose choice will say, it's many more babies who will be saved, than women lost. I comprehend the logic. But I tend to do my math in suffering, not in numbers of lives. Reduction of suffering is the basis for my moral code.
My Mom and I got into it about this, which is why I think a big part of the disconnect between the sides of the abortion debate lies... She believes that any amount of suffering should be endured rather than a loss of life. Death is never the answer and one must go kicking and screaming, fighting to the last. She will also adopt animals she cannot afford to feed properly, believes that suicide is the ultimate sin, and does not support any kind of euthanasia ever.
I don't agree with her about any of that. I would rather die than have a life of suffering, no quality of life. And I don't wish pain or suffering on anybody. Not even as punishment for doing something that I actually believe is wrong.
(And I do not believe that women consenting to sex for reasons other than an intent to make a baby, is wrong. At all.)
Seems so. If you dislike a law, get involved. Otherwise, yes, once a baby is born and has needs outside a womb, the father is also responsible.
He could always try being responsible in advance by insisting on wearing a condom. Isn't that your advice to women? That they should be more responsible? Seems if the man doesn't want to be "on the hook," so does he.
Seems so. If you dislike a law, get involved. Otherwise, yes, once a baby is born and has needs outside a womb, the father is also responsible.
He could always try being responsible in advance by insisting on wearing a condom. Isn't that your advice to women? That they should be more responsible? Seems if the man doesn't want to be "on the hook," so does he.
Simple.
it’s much easier for men to get reversible vasectomies.wonder why men who worry about women lying about taking the pill / don’t like wearing condoms don’t do this more often.10x easier than every other option
Riggghhht. Because nobody has ever heard of a woman lying about being on the pill to try to trap/get a man, lol.
Interesting how it’s not okay for one to lie but it’s okay for the other.
Neither is okay, but once a living child is born, well, there is a living child to feed. Plain and simple. Ergo, there is then a responsibility put on both partners.
Neither is okay, but once a living child is born, well, there is a living child to feed. Plain and simple. Ergo, there is then a responsibility put on both partners.
wow I’m sorry that happened to u!many women have irregular menstrual cycles & conditions like PCOS which just throw everything completely off
It was pretty bad. I kept asking for a hysterectomy and the doc refused because I was young and he thought I might want another kid. (I did not. Neither did my husband.) They didn't know it was adenomyosis until after they finally did the hysterectomy. What a relief that was.
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