Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Politics and Other Controversies
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 10-16-2023, 07:43 AM
 
36,499 posts, read 30,833,646 times
Reputation: 32753

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by scatteredthunder View Post
Funny how you have to bring up that there are equal stories about women, when the post wasn't about men vs women. It was about one man. It was about a case when a two-parent household wasn't healthy for the child.

What do you think should be done in the case of a parent who is an addict and physically threatening (or outright abusing) the other members of the family? Assuming that said person has no interest in rehabilitation, which many don't. What do you propose, to keep those family members safe?
I think you asked him a similar question about if a person should stay in a marriage where there is abuse and addiction, etc. and he never answered.

 
Old 10-16-2023, 08:01 AM
 
Location: Florida
14,967 posts, read 9,794,276 times
Reputation: 12063
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
What's with the constant blaming and taking responsibility for divorce? Marriages end for a variety of reasons. In most cases she thinks it's his fault and he thinks it's her fault. Truth be told many marriages end just because two people grow apart.
It really does not matter why the marriage ended if there was one. The bottom line is that it is the mother who is taking responsibility for the children in over 80% of the cases, only~20% of fathers take responsibility for their children.
Stop blaming and shaming single parents. They are the ones who stick around and take care of their kids regardless of the sacrifices or how hard it is.
Taking responsibility is a sign of maturity, intelligence and moral fiber. If you can't be accountable and understand how your actions may have ended the marriage, then you will always be the accusing narcissist in the relationship. Women in general aren't very good at taking responsibility or apologizing and pass that trait onto their children. That's not healthy and leads to the continuation of lil Johnnie and lil Susie blaming everything on everyone. Ever notice that? This is one of the problems with single mothers.


Single parents need to 'work' on not passing their emotional baggage onto their children.
 
Old 10-16-2023, 08:30 AM
 
36,499 posts, read 30,833,646 times
Reputation: 32753
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave_n_Tenn View Post
Taking responsibility is a sign of maturity, intelligence and moral fiber. If you can't be accountable and understand how your actions may have ended the marriage, then you will always be the accusing narcissist in the relationship. Women in general aren't very good at taking responsibility or apologizing and pass that trait onto their children. That's not healthy and leads to the continuation of lil Johnnie and lil Susie blaming everything on everyone. Ever notice that? This is one of the problems with single mothers.


Single parents need to 'work' on not passing their emotional baggage onto their children.
Most often there is no responsibility to take. As I said so many reasons and multiple ones for a marriage to fall apart. As well often both parties actually think the other is to blame.
Not taking responsibility for one's actions, which isn't a single subject issue, is not a gender-based trait the women pass onto children.
You are again attaching your bad experience to the entire world. You really should talk to a professional about your emotional trauma.

At the end of the day it really does not matter why the marriage ended. There will be a single parent household if there were minor children. And again, I applaud all the single parents for stepping up and taking responsibility, showing maturity and moral fiber by continuing to be a present and reliable parent in spite of the sacrifices and hardships.
 
Old 10-16-2023, 08:35 AM
 
Location: Florida
14,967 posts, read 9,794,276 times
Reputation: 12063
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Most often there is no responsibility to take. As I said so many reasons and multiple ones for a marriage to fall apart. As well often both parties actually think the other is to blame.
Not taking responsibility for one's actions, which isn't a single subject issue, is not a gender-based trait the women pass onto children.
You are again attaching your bad experience to the entire world. You really should talk to a professional about your emotional trauma.

At the end of the day it really does not matter why the marriage ended. There will be a single parent household if there were minor children. And again, I applaud all the single parents for stepping up and taking responsibility, showing maturity and moral fiber by continuing to be a present and reliable parent in spite of the sacrifices and hardships.
And you unwittingly made my point by accusing me of emotional trauma. In fact you have done so through this entire exercise.

At the end of the day accountability is the measure by which emotional maturity is observed.
 
Old 10-16-2023, 08:57 AM
 
36,499 posts, read 30,833,646 times
Reputation: 32753
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave_n_Tenn View Post
And you unwittingly made my point by accusing me of emotional trauma. In fact you have done so through this entire exercise.

At the end of the day accountability is the measure by which emotional maturity is observed.
I'm not accusing anyone of anything. Thats your cup of tea.
I don't know you, but from your posts it sounds as if you have had some bad experiences that still affect you in a very negative way (trauma). Accusing someone of having trauma, really? My only wish for anyone suffering from any trauma is that they find peace and can move on with their life.

I agree accountability is a big part of emotional maturity. In as far as this thread the accountability is being a present, involved, parent to one's child(ren). Again, I applaud all the single parents for stepping up and taking responsibility, showing maturity and moral fiber by continuing to be a present and reliable parent in spite of the sacrifices and hardships. What led to divorce is irrelevant.

On a positive note this has moved away from the belief all single parents are shameful harlots who had unprotected sex with strangers and should pay the consequences.
 
Old 10-16-2023, 09:27 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
39,219 posts, read 27,582,466 times
Reputation: 16052
Quote:
Originally Posted by InformedConsent View Post
That's because the Fed Gov financially incentivizes single-parent households by giving them all kinds of social program benefits. It should come as NO surprise to anyone that the US gets what it pays for.

Pay people extra to do "X"... People WILL do "X."
This
 
Old 10-16-2023, 09:33 AM
 
Location: East Coast of the United States
27,555 posts, read 28,636,675 times
Reputation: 25136
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
On a positive note this has moved away from the belief all single parents are shameful harlots who had unprotected sex with strangers and should pay the consequences.
I don't believe in shaming single parents. Everybody has to live with the cards they're dealt with.

This social issue has existed for a long time. A solution to it won't be found overnight.
 
Old 10-16-2023, 10:03 AM
 
588 posts, read 224,867 times
Reputation: 675
Poor whites and blacks are married to the government and not each other.
 
Old 10-16-2023, 10:37 AM
 
36,499 posts, read 30,833,646 times
Reputation: 32753
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
This
I became a single parent when my kids were 6 and 2. The government didn't give me any financial incentives to do so. Oh yeah, there was survivor's benefits for the kids (Children who suffer the death of a parent or guardian may receive up to 75% of the deceased person’s Social Security retirement benefit until age 18.The parent must have died after working in a job where they paid Social Security taxes).

Perhaps the government should stop giving incentives to not working; unemployment and social security.
 
Old 10-16-2023, 11:19 AM
 
Location: Des Moines, IA, USA
579 posts, read 432,037 times
Reputation: 810
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
I think you asked him a similar question about if a person should stay in a marriage where there is abuse and addiction, etc. and he never answered.
Right?

Apparently he can't or won't admit that while couples should try to work out their differences, it's often not practical, and sometimes outright dangerous. Or else he really thinks all parents should stay married under any circumstances, and the outcomes then fall under the "they chose that life, now they're reaping the consequences, too bad, not my problem" that I hear from many people.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Politics and Other Controversies

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top