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This thread will tell you how to be a politician. All you need do is follow the advice that I will provide here, and your success is guaranteed. So sharpen your pencils, and take copious notes of the following:
I. A politician must be popular. People like those who they perceive are like themselves. Most people are bigoted, stupid and vulgar; and so to be popular, a politician should eschew all cultural refinement as snobbish and elitist, and make himself a perfect philistine. His should be the hardy handshake and backslapping comradery among the masses; and it would be helpful to be at least proficient in kissing ugly babies.
II. A politician must be flexible in his beliefs. In politics there is a distinction between what is right and what is politically correct, for what the many say is so, will be so, whether or not it is so; and a politician must so adapt.
III. A politician must have a good sense of junket. A politician must be willing to endure the hardships of travel to far-off places, for the game of politics is not just played in the lobbies of Congress, but on the golf courses of the world. A politician should not be hesitant about using corporate jets; and being a member of a fancy yacht club is an absolute must.
I. A politician must be popular. People like those who they perceive are like themselves. Most people are bigoted, stupid and vulgar; and so to be popular, a politician should eschew all cultural refinement as snobbish and elitist, and make himself a perfect philistine. His should be the hardy handshake and backslapping comradery among the masses; and it would be helpful to be at least proficient in kissing ugly babies.
One politician that totally destroys your advice above:
Sheriff Joe Arpaio, Maricopa County Sheriff, Maricopa County, Arizona
IV. A politician must be long-winded. A politician should be able to hold forth on any subject for hours on end and not say anything of substance. The debate and diatribe are his daily fare, the filibuster his forte.
V. A politician must be able to talk out of both sides of his mouth. A politician has to be capable of giving leave to one side while giving lip service to the other and lauding neither. And while all will hear his "Hear, hear!" - none will hear his whys and wherefores.
VI. A politician must be wary of the truth. There is nothing more dangerous than the truth. For if the public should know the truth, all of government will succumb to mob rule and anarchy prevail; and so a politician must exercise the greatest care and skill in concealing it. In this, a politician must be able to lie convincingly and consistently well; and be expert at destroying evidence, which, in preserving his office, if not all important, is essential.
VII. A politician must not have scruples about money. To take other’s money inspires confidence in one’s constituency, for a politician who cannot be bribed, cannot be trusted. In the buying and selling of political influence, bribery adds the commercial appeal of being certain of one’s man; and a politician with a head for business will turn a good profit from selling his office many times over, for there is nothing more costly than a favor.
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