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Sorry, but if a woman is so ignorant to the birthing process, perhaps she shouldn't get pregnant.
There is nothing 'horrifically violent' about having a baby. When the time comes, you do what has to be done to get the baby out, or don't put one in there to begin with.
This isn't about regular old normal childbirth. It's about the situations where things go wrong and doctors intervene in a manner that in any other circumstances would be considered horrifically violent. If you haven't read the story of anyone who would have used this term to describe their experience I suggest you do, it might open your eyes (and put you off childbirth).
Maybe the media has something to do with the idea of birth rape. All the celebrities are popping babies out left and right, and maybe those seeing all those babies and glowing stars are so naive and ignorant that they do not know what it takes to give birth off camera and for real.
We seem to be raising a generation of extrememly sheltered, naive people.
HAVING A BABY HURTS, AND STRANGERS LOOK AT YOU IN PLACES NORMALLY KEPT PRIVATE. GET OVER IT.
Calling childbirth rape is going just a little too far. Actually, it takes a real moron to call childbirth rape. It's a beautiful thing, and rape is ugly. They have nothing in common.
“A vulnerable woman, who is powerless to leave the situation, is at times held down against her will, has strangers looking & touching at private parts of her body, perhaps without appropriate measures being taken to acknowledge her ownership of her body or to preserve her comfort levels. Perhaps she has fingers or instruments inserted without her consent, and sometimes against her consent, invading and crossing decent boundaries. She is fearful of what is happening to her and perhaps for the wellbeing of her baby, and receives no reassurance that either she or her child are ok. That is a violation, no matter how you look at it.”
This isn't about regular old normal childbirth. It's about the situations where things go wrong and doctors intervene in a manner that in any other circumstances would be considered horrifically violent. If you haven't read the story of anyone who would have used this term to describe their experience I suggest you do, it might open your eyes (and put you off childbirth).
I guess you have to take into consideration age and how many children you have. If you are very young and don't have children, I guess childbirth stories would make you go 'eww', but life isn't so neat that things always go right.
Explain to me what could be considered 'horrifically violent' in childbirth. Give me one or two examples, because I can't imagine anything that could be remotely construed as 'horrifically violent' about it.
I remember reading one where the baby was stuck and had no heartbeat and it was too far gone for a c-section so the staff forcibly held her down while the doctor reached up inside her to pull the baby out. It was an emergency and time was of the essence so she wasnt given time to process or prepare, it just happened. There are similar stories with placenta removal - the doctor had to be somewhere so just went up and pulled it instead of waiting a little longer to see if it would come on it's own. I'm sure the doctors were justified in their actions in most cases, childbirth emergencies are what they are, and as I said I don't think rape is probably the most appropriate word for it, but these women genuinely feel like someone has violated them so unimaginably that they can't get over it.
geek I'm not trying to belittle your feelings in this, what happened to you was despicable and you are very courageous to speak out.
However - I've heard some pretty gruesome birth stories, with doctors putting whole hands inside women, and instruments, under circumstances that were already very traumatic, often times with the mother being made to feel like she has no choice other than to allow it to happen or they and their baby will die. These were not uncomplicated everyday birth situations, these are emergency, complicated and often life threatening situations.
I don't know if rape is the best word to use for these incidences, but then again, I'd have hoped that someone who has been raped would have more understanding and compassion for someone who feels they were violated so horrifically that they use that word to describe it instead of dismissing their feelings as petty and ridiculous.
I can understand feeling that a trauma has occurred when emergency complications force women to endure unpleasant, and frightening situations. However, rape is a CRIME, and it is a violent one at that. Not every traumatic situation is a rape. Sometimes it's just a gruesome and terrible experience.
It is unfair to those who have been criminally violated to compare emergency complications to a violent crime.
Rape occurs when the rapist intends to inflict harm on his victim, and becuase he intends to make his victim - a victim. For the purpose of victimizing her. It is an intentional act of violence, perpetrated BECAUSE it is violent.
What happens when a doctor deals with an emergency trauma situation, whether it is violent, or feel invasive, or not - is NOT an act of violence. It is an act of attempting to give life to one person, while saving the life of another.
A vulnerable woman, who is powerless to leave the situation, is at times held down against her will, has strangers looking & touching at private parts of her body, perhaps without appropriate measures being taken to acknowledge her ownership of her body or to preserve her comfort levels. Perhaps she has fingers or instruments inserted without her consent, and sometimes against her consent, invading and crossing decent boundaries. She is fearful of what is happening to her and perhaps for the wellbeing of her baby, and receives no reassurance that either she or her child are ok. That is a violation, no matter how you look at it.”
This sounds like narcississm. It has nothing to do with being violated.
My sister was born with forceps. Yep, the doctor reached right up there with forceps, turned that baby and brought her out. My mother was so happy she had a healthy baby.
My ex was born breech. I am absolutely certain that his mother was just very, very happy to have him out and alive, no matter what it took.
Not once in my life have I ever heard of anything so outrageous as childbirth being thought of as a violent act of rape. This morning when I read that story, I was astounded.
It's funny how a woman can lay down with someone she doesn't know, get pregnant, then when it's time to have the baby, feel violated because the doctor has to do his job. She doesn't mind a stranger poking around 'down there' to enjoy the pleasures of sex, but when the reality hits and it's time to have the baby, doesn't want the doctor touching her or taking the baby out.
I do not understand that way of thinking except that it is the most self-centered thing I have ever heard.
WOW! Give me a break! Birth Rape??? What a bunch of whiners! After my first child was born I was belly aching to the OB/GYN about how "hard" it was and how "tired" I was (Poor me, right?) and he looked at me and said "Mrstewart, why do you think they call it LABOR?"
The thought of equating child birth with rape is ludicrous and honestly, seems like self victimization Sounds like some new psychobabble and some folks will make a mint selling ridiculous books on the topic...
**steps down from soap box**
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(Poor me, right?
) and he looked at me and said "Mrstewart, why do you think they call it LABOR?"
Sounds like some new psychobabble and some folks will make a mint selling ridiculous books on the topic...
