Extremely vain people - are they hiding behind something? (narcissistic, fixate, thoughts)
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I don't believe in tagging a mental health diagnosis to any and everyone, but I do still think that the majority of the world is crazy to some degree. There is no such thing as "normal", we are all just coping with the hand we were dealt with. So with that said, I'm not looking for a diagnosis, I'm just trying to understand WHY someone might behave this way so suddenly.
I have a very good friends (well, not so much anymore). We've grown apart recently because she's changed a lot, and I've found it difficult to tolerate her "new and improved" self. She has always been a naturally attractive girl, no shortage of male attention wherever she went. In the last year, she started paying extra attention to looks- moreso than what I'd consider average even for a "girly girl".
For example, she started spending 3 hours in the gym a day, went from 2 hair appointments a month to 2 a week, nails done weekly, always shopping, she started tanning (even though she's already got tanned skin), and nearly every topic of conversation with her would be about clothes, beauty regimen, weight, how fatty foods are, how hot she looks, omg her eyebrows are so amazing, blah blah blah.
She started hanging out with a new group of people, jumped from sugar daddy to sugar daddy - which leads me to wonder if she is escorting, since for the past 3 months she has been in Italy, Fiji, California, Berlin, London, Ibiza.... ALL WITH DIFFERENT MEN. But anyway, I digress.
I went on online today - I rarely use social media anymore, but peeked at a few updated from her:
Quote:
"If it wasn't for my gorgeous face and sick body, I'd only be left with my amazingly awesome personality. #itcouldbeworse"
"@(name omitted) ughhh I need an iphone. INSTAGRAM. We're sooo pretty Nancy"
"I'm genuinely one of the most obnoxious people on planet earth, but I'm soooo ****ing pretty that it doesn't matter."
"The amount of compliments my eyebrows have been receiving lately has tripled....which backs my theory that I keep getting better looking."
.... You get the picture. So my question is, what the heck happened to my friend?? She would make these "omg I'm so beautiful" comments around me too, and it was a little over the top and weird. Do you know extremely vain people like this? Is it possible to really be obsessed with yourself this much that it's all you really care about? Tell me, is that normal?
Sounds like there is some kind of insecurity. She seems afraid of losing something. no, it is not normal. People do care about their appearance to a certain extent. She takes it way beyond the next level.
Your "friend" has definately got major self esteem problems...I think these women are soooo into appearance because they feel that without it ,they would be nothing...they'd never admit that though...that's why they keep on telling themselves (trying to convince themselves) that their personalities would be good enough....though of course, they don't even believe that themselves....thus the continual glam-ups to hold up their sagging personalities....hey, sounds like she's doing what she wants, and enjoying it.....she probably won't be much of a friend until her looks start to fade, and she becomes more dependant on her personality...untill then, she's just "the fluffy icing on the cake", and not thinking about substance......i think I'm rambling....do I make any sense?
You make sense. That's why I was thinking, too... and the normal response to an "overly confident" personality would be to say that they are overcompensating, lack real security in another area, etc. But sometimes I wonder - maybe some people really DO feel this way? Maybe there's nothing more to their statements other than they truly think they are the most beautiful people in the world. Maybe they really do believe they are god's gift to mankind. Maybe they really ARE 100% happy, and that is why they speak like this? I dont know...
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter to me. I came to terms with our growing apart a while ago, it just makes me a little curious why some people do/say what they do.
I find your friend's updates funny...I don't know why it bothers some people so much...is she insanely good looking? I don't think there's anything wrong with her...people can be much more pathologically narcissistic without being vain. She clearly takes pride in her appearance and it pays off for her.
I find your friend's updates funny...I don't know why it bothers some people so much...is she insanely good looking? She clearly takes pride in her appearance and it pays off for her.
She is beautiful - not really a "natural beauty" anymore, due to the orange from tanning and the nose job, but she's still very attractive by most people's standards. It doesn't bother me, I just don't understand it. I'm a different type of person. I care about my appearance but I don't fixate on it. Spending thousands of dollars on my physical upkeep and 15 hours a week in the gym is just not something I care about - if that's someone else's modus operandi in life and they're TRULY happy about it, then more power to them. But you don't see extremely attractive people saying things like this about themselves very often. Most beautiful people don't talk day in and day out about how hot, awesome, sick, amazing, sexy they are. And because she didn't always used to be like this, it makes me even more curious.
But as I stated in my previous post, maybe she really is happy and this is how most 9s and 10s think of themselves, and she's just brave enough to verbalize it?
She does sound superficial, narcissistic, and vain - but it's her life. She's having fun and doing what she wants. Who cares if she is an escort or how she makes her money or gets her kicks. I'd let it go - let her go - and get on with your own life. Some friendships aren't meant to last forever.
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