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I don't want this to get into a heated discussion. Just want to know how you'd rate (good, bad, "normal") your childhood and whether or not you want kids/have kids of your own, assuming you've met someone that you want to have kids with.
Had a basically good-normal childhood (no abuse, no divorce, middle class, parents had clear rules, parents treated us well) but I NEVER wanted children. Even when I was a little girl, I used to say I never wanted to be a mommy, I just wanted animals.
So if your hypothesis is that people with bad childhoods are the ones who choose not to have kids, then I don't fit that assumption.
My childhood wasn't the best (messy divorce, negligent father, I grew up a little bit too fast because of it), but it had a lot of bright spots in between thanks to my mom. That being said, I still do want to have children with the hopes that I can give them the stress-free childhood that I never had.
Some of the most responsible people never have children of their own. I can only assume they have watched what society does to children today with incompetent and unqualified parenting techniques.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam
Had a basically good-normal childhood (no abuse, no divorce, middle class, parents had clear rules, parents treated us well) but I NEVER wanted children. Even when I was a little girl, I used to say I never wanted to be a mommy, I just wanted animals.
So if your hypothesis is that people with bad childhoods are the ones who choose not to have kids, then I don't fit that assumption.
Great topic!! I think your own childhood has a huge impact on your decision to have kids & your parenting skills. Also, the culture/society has a lot to do with your decisions. In a lot of traditional, conservative societies its a given that you will get married & bear kids. You are left with no choice. In first world countries people do have a choice & are free to decide without any pressure to 'fit-in'.
When you have that freedom to make a choice, this is my observation..........
As an adult you will try to overcome the hurdles you faced as a child before you think about having a kid. Example, if you had an impoverished childhood then you will make sure that you have enough money before having a kid b'coz your experience taught you how the lack of resources affect the family. Same thing with kids from broken homes. They will work harder towards strengthening their marriage before thinking of kids. I am talking about people who grow up to be responsible adults. If someone is still recovering from their childhood abuse, its difficult to think clearly & make right decisions.
That said, I think our media is strong enough to brainwash us into 'desiring' a family. Look at all the ads of picture perfect families. They wont show the true picture. Even if you know that its selling the concept of a family as a product, its difficult to rebel against it & not be judged. Sometimes its easier to fit in than stand out.
My childhood wasn't all ponies and parties, but it could have been worse- because of that, I grew up and used my past as a source of inspiration, and allowed those memories and segments to never bring me down and make me harden by the elements I overcame.
Every situation in life is an opportunity to grow, to exhibit kindness, and to learn. Personally, I may have many flaws, but I know I have softness and a nurturing side in my heart. I am confident I would have made an excellent mother. However, I can't have kids for medical reasons. I am however, excellent to my patients. I love them all- even the difficult ones.
I had a great childhood. I'd be the guy in the Farside cartoon, sitting in the middle of an empty convention hall with the banner saying "Adult Children of Normal Parents". I was constantly surrounded by cousins I liked, too.
I have one child, but would have been as happy having none. I don't regret having one whatsoever, but children are not appealing to me. There are many other things I'd have rather done with those years, than raise a child. I'm certainly glad I didn't have another.
I grew up in a upper middle class household where my mother held her PhD in secondary education.
She always emphasized self discipline, financial security and education.
I was an only child.
My mom loved me totally and completely without conditions.
She gave me the best of everything including a solid education.
My wife and I have no children due to never having a desire for them.
I personally find procreation for the sake of such both dangerous to ones bottom line and fool hearty due to the state of the world in which we live in.
I had a "normal" childhood and love children (work with them every day) but I don't want to have any of my own. In my late teens/early twenties I really wanted to. Couldn't wait to be pregnant, conceive, the whole nine yards. Thought I'd be a pretty good mother, too. But now...I like my freedom and being able to sleep all night
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