How to come to terms with the realization of your own cognitive capacity? (college, parent)
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So, coming up, I self identified as "intelligent". Not necessarly by virtue of academics or whatnot, though in that area I did as well or as badly as I wanted to...more in terms of whatever intellignece was, I thought I had it in abundance.
Perhaps evidence in support of this was the first time I realized relative velocity. While in a car, I'd throw a ball up and down, up and down, trying to wrap my head around all what was happening. How a ball could be doing two things at once, depending on where I was in relation to that ball, boggled my mind in ways I still don't quite understand. It can't be moving at two different speeds...? But the distances travelled where differnent...? I couldn't accept it, yet I did, when someone eventually told me that the problem I was having had been thought of and solved long ago.
Over the last couple years, however, I've come to realize that I grossly overestimated my intelligence, and truth be told, this has me down. Everywhere I look now, I see my deficencies glaring back at me...as if to remind me of how foolish I was for thinking myself not foolish.
So, as I continue with life, how do I come to terms with perhaps not being the sharpest knife in the drawer?
I think you have to celebrate what you are, where you are right now. For things like this, I go back to a quote from the Desiderata: There will always be those who are greater and lesser than yourself. It applies in all situations. Yes, some people might be miles smarter than you, but by golly there's a whole heapload of people who are stupider!
What I have trouble coming to grips with, is that I'm not as smart (or quick) as I used to be. New things take longer for me to learn, and I hate it!
I am just average intelligence and its my reality so why be upset over it? Since I do know and accept that fact I just study more and that has allowed me to get 3 degrees including a masters from a top university.
Intelligence and cognitive capacity - or whatever you call it - is a learned skill. You can become stupid, you can become intelligent. Intelligence is an entirely artificial affair, where you are dealing with artificiality: facts, figures, metaphysics, dimensions. Working with your feelings is a different case of beer.
I don't think you should be down about your intelligence. I was trying to find another quote but I think this might be good. Socrates said "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."
There are people out there who act cocky and think they know EVERYTHING when in reality they know very little or nothing at all. However, if you know you aren't the smartest tool in the shed (or whatever other expressions you can give) and you become humbled by it, its a very good thing because you can more easily except that there are things you don't know or don't completely understand.
Coming to City-Data for me has been a very humbling experience. I've made posts on the Philosophy forum and have been met with posts that were way over my head. It was extremely humbling.
I personally enjoy and even admire people who are truly smarter than I am because it always gives me a chance to learn from them (doesn't completely explain why I'm still terrible at chess though). If you meet someone smarter look up to them and learn from them.
Now that I'm 46 years old, I've come to the realization that we're all stupid. And we're all smart.
Our minds all work differently and we have different talents, interests, dislikes, etc. There are certain things/tasks where I excel, and others where I fall flat. I was fired from a new job I got last year (very good pay, extremely fast paced/high stress) and my first reaction was that I must be dumb. But then I could see where my boss, who was great at her job, was failing as a parent and failing in her personal health/fitness. None of us has it all together in all aspects of our lives.
So I've just learned to accept that I am not meant to do certain jobs. I need to stick with my interests and what I'm good at. Overall, I couldn't be that dumb since I put myself through college. But I'll never be a doctor because I have no interest in it and pass out at the sight of blood! I have friends who are great doctors, but fail in other areas of their lives.
I know it's not easy, but you have to figure out the things your're smarter than the average person about and take advantage of that. And a smart person understands their own limitations and gets help in those areas. That's why I have a financial advisor... I'm no good at finances! But the whole neighborhood comes to me for advice on how to take care of their lawns, because I'm a horticultural genius
So, coming up, I self identified as "intelligent". Not necessarly by virtue of academics or whatnot, though in that area I did as well or as badly as I wanted to...more in terms of whatever intellignece was, I thought I had it in abundance.
Perhaps evidence in support of this was the first time I realized relative velocity. While in a car, I'd throw a ball up and down, up and down, trying to wrap my head around all what was happening. How a ball could be doing two things at once, depending on where I was in relation to that ball, boggled my mind in ways I still don't quite understand. It can't be moving at two different speeds...? But the distances travelled where differnent...? I couldn't accept it, yet I did, when someone eventually told me that the problem I was having had been thought of and solved long ago.
Over the last couple years, however, I've come to realize that I grossly overestimated my intelligence, and truth be told, this has me down. Everywhere I look now, I see my deficencies glaring back at me...as if to remind me of how foolish I was for thinking myself not foolish.
So, as I continue with life, how do I come to terms with perhaps not being the sharpest knife in the drawer?
People will find anything to can grasp onto to put themselves above others and pat themselves on the back. This is one of those areas where it happens a lot unfortunately. You should try and get yourself diagnosed because maybe you have a legitimate learning problems like I do. It doesn't matter though because people still lump any kind of LD together with stupidity (because again, it makes them feel superior) they've done that most of my life. All YOU can do is: a. accept that you are who you are, whether people like it or not and b. accept that people are no good anyways and for all of their so called 'smarts' most of them still end up in sh*tty personal situations (divorce, kids in rehab/teen pregnancy/jail/spouse dead/job loss, etc) regardless of their highfaluting jobs and education status.
These people let go from high powered jobs are learning a tough lesson today because they're having to work side by side at Burger King with a person they considered to be 'stupid and below them,' 10 years ago.
Over the last couple years, however, I've come to realize that I grossly overestimated my intelligence, and truth be told, this has me down. Everywhere I look now, I see my deficencies glaring back at me...as if to remind me of how foolish I was for thinking myself not foolish.
So, as I continue with life, how do I come to terms with perhaps not being the sharpest knife in the drawer?
OP... I don't know if this is gonna give you some comfort or not... but to be aware of one's short comings... in a rational way, not a negative self defeating way... that is actually a sign of intelligence... if that makes any sense...
Sphere of knowledge, as in being acutely aware of our individual sphere of knowledge...that is very important... I know it doesn't seem like it... but it really is...
No one likes the dumb guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, right????
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