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I hate my city but I'm not wanting to move because I'm comfortable with my complex. The only way I would want to move is if I got a house. It's hard being comfortable with your home but not having good opportunities for work and not having anything fun to do outside of your residential area. It's like I have to choose between feeling secure and making a living. I can't have both.
I wouldn't really call coping with where I've been living now as "accepting it".
It's more or less just tolerating the "country" vibe(despite the air force base nearby, the Dutch dairy farmers from CA and their ilk still seem to outnumber any non-ag/out-of-state transplants) and stacking up enough money from the milk hauling/pumping I do on nights.
I recently just bought a power rack with weights in order to get some exercises done at home.
Apart from work, I've barely been getting out of the apartment short of going to buy groceries or something mundane.
Days off seem too short enough to muster up the motivation to do any real traveling.
Especially when all the "cool areas" tend to be 3 to 4+ hours away.
Getting off of a 10-14 hour shift only to do more driving with little sleep is pretty much a no-go for me at this point.
You'll either crash, or expect to take a nap in rest-area/truck stop parking lot only for it become a full-blown sleep-session.
Either way, you're late to whatever it is you were trying to get to and the day's ruined.
With that said, I don't see myself getting out of the area anytime soon due to all the work involved in moving again.
Getting an apartment in the right part of whatever town/city I'm trying to get to where I don't have to worry about theft.
Getting to know the complete layout of the land in order to navigate without looking like a complete n00b.
Then of course there's getting used to the new crew I'll be working with even though it'll likely be the same company I'm currently with.
So to sum it up, I've accepted the reality of living where I'm at due to the simple fact that I've mastered the goings-on of the area.
That's how it works -- people must learn to make the best of a bad situation. That is a difficult art that nobody ever masters. For many that means finding a new channel on cable TV. That, all too often, is all that one can do. Shopping? Just another addiction. Booze? That gets old fast -- and makes you old fast while you fail to grow up.
Get religion... and realize that This World is so ****ed up because of fundamentalist religion that your only chance of happiness comes if you die and have been good. That's how America's ruling elites want it for all but themselves. Try to pretend that something awful is better than the monstrously-horrible. Praise the Lord that as bad as things are, they could still get worse... which will certainly happen when you get old and decrepit, like being in North Korea or in ISIS-ruled country.
Read some Great Book (it's free on Project Gutenberg) that you never fully got into. Get a hobby -- any hobby. Learn a musical instrument. Paint. Try writing science fiction. Try some daring recipes.
Maybe you can make life in a place so God-awful as Flint, Michigan or Lima, Ohio less miserable. I wish I could show more optimism.
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amisi
Just because it's a "city" doesn't make it the 'city' I want to live in. I'm from NYC and that's where I need to be --- not in some crappy suburb, not in some other state.
Then it's really not about living in the 'burbs, or finding "somewhere you don't hate", is it? In other words, this whole OP is basically just a rant that after a lifetime of bad choices, you simply wanna move back to NYC.
And BTW, apparently not just anywhere in NYC will do for Your Ladyship, but it also has to be just the "right" part of town (which you feel "entitled" to, but can't afford). So the real problem here isn't 'acceptance', it's having champagne tastes on a beer budget (…lol)!
Okay, so I moved to my current location about 16 years ago to move in with my (then) boyfriend (now) future ex-husband. At the time, I honestly had no intention on staying here long and wanted to move back to the city. (I had moved out here due to circumstances beyond my control and would have had no place to live otherwise) I absolutely HATE where I am living. I have never been a "suburbanite" and never will be.
Well, I got pregnant and we ended up getting married. After giving birth, I worked from home for a while but that ended and I wound up having to work lower-paying jobs with flexible hours just so my daughter wouldn't have to be w/sitters or daycare. Well, things got terrible financially and I ended up with a ton of credit card debt simply from day-to-day expenses (I KNOW you're not supposed to do that, but I had no other choice) and I could not save a penny.
Fast forward to now. My daughter is 15. I lost my job about a year ago and have been unable to find anything new yet but I'm still looking and think I will find something before the year is out. Anyway, I still hate it here, I hate the suburbs, I am completely unhappy, and I know I will never, ever be content living here.
I was thinking that once I have my debt paid off (if all stays on track, it will be paid off by April or May), I could save up some money and my daughter and I could move to the city. We both prefer city over suburbs and there is a ton of opportunity for both of us there. Well, here's the problem:
I've been doing searches online for apartment prices and there is no way I can afford an apartment in the city! I looked in Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx and there's nothing that is in a safe neighborhood that I could **realisitically** afford. If it was just me, I could probably get something in a not-so-perfect area but I have my child with me and I have to keep her safety in mind and her well-being as well as the schools so I need a decent area to live in.
I searched so many places and it just seems that NYC is getting more expensive by the day and I won't be able to afford anything there unless I'm making A LOT of money.
I'm going to have to resign myself to living in the suburbs. As I just typed that sentence, I started tearing up because I can't imagine living the remainder of my life here. When I say I hate the suburban lifestyle, I mean I absolutely HATE it! I hate having to drive everywhere I need to go. I hate the attitudes of the people. I have the fact that the biggest pasttime is mall shopping and the closes thing to culture is Chuck E Cheeses. There is NOTHING to do out here at all (and, believe me, I've tried to find stuff).
I am absolutely miserable out here. I feel like if I died tomorrow, it wouldn't matter because I'm not truly "living" anyway.
I know the reality is that I'll be living out here until the day I die. I just don't know how to accept this.
Could be worse. You could have had to move from Atlanta (awesome city) to Oklahoma City.
I reside in Dallas , while having previously lived in Munich Germany for a good number of years, and all the while it meets the needs of the big city feel, the culture here is foreign to me after 20 years. I honestly do not think there is a culture here outside of the Cowboys and being a Republican-both of which I can do without. I am a military kid and spend sometime growing up around Philadelphia, and Baltimore. My Dad would take me to New York City, and I was in heaven. Too make a long story short I have hung in here due to family, but they are moving on and my parents really are ready for the retirement home. I am ready to go back east to find a change of seasons, short drives to the ocean or mountains, someplace where I can do some serious sculling, and serious arts and theater. I want culture back in my life again, that does not include the Cowboys, Republicanism run amok, or endless fracking of the soil that pollutes water supplies and is believed to be causing numerous earthquakes. The bottom line is work hard everyday toward your goal, plan with care, and be flexible. While NYC is the bomb, try Philadelphia, Baltimore, or Northern Virginia area in terms of cost of living. If you want cultural misery try living here in Dallas-ughhh.
You mean here on this psycho planet?
Learn where the fun places are and adapt your thoughts to find
happiness in everything. Be kind to those less fortunate.
I'm going to have to resign myself to living in the suburbs. As I just typed that sentence, I started tearing up because I can't imagine living the remainder of my life here. When I say I hate the suburban lifestyle, I mean I absolutely HATE it! I hate having to drive everywhere I need to go. I hate the attitudes of the people. I have the fact that the biggest pasttime is mall shopping and the closes thing to culture is Chuck E Cheeses. There is NOTHING to do out here at all (and, believe me, I've tried to find stuff).
I am absolutely miserable out here. I feel like if I died tomorrow, it wouldn't matter because I'm not truly "living" anyway.
I know the reality is that I'll be living out here until the day I die. I just don't know how to accept this.
What, are you on Long Island?
Couldn't pay me enough to stay on this hunk of intellectual wasteland, so I'm moving shortly. For the same money I'm paying out in the middle of nowhere, I could have a nice 1BR inside the DC Beltway and be close to everything I enjoy and people I mesh with better, with no semi-literate wrench-heads in sight.
I reside in Dallas , while having previously lived in Munich Germany for a good number of years, and all the while it meets the needs of the big city feel, the culture here is foreign to me after 20 years. I honestly do not think there is a culture here outside of the Cowboys and being a Republican-both of which I can do without. I am a military kid and spend sometime growing up around Philadelphia, and Baltimore. My Dad would take me to New York City, and I was in heaven. Too make a long story short I have hung in here due to family, but they are moving on and my parents really are ready for the retirement home. I am ready to go back east to find a change of seasons, short drives to the ocean or mountains, someplace where I can do some serious sculling, and serious arts and theater. I want culture back in my life again, that does not include the Cowboys, Republicanism run amok, or endless fracking of the soil that pollutes water supplies and is believed to be causing numerous earthquakes. The bottom line is work hard everyday toward your goal, plan with care, and be flexible. While NYC is the bomb, try Philadelphia, Baltimore, or Northern Virginia area in terms of cost of living. If you want cultural misery try living here in Dallas-ughhh.
Have you visited Dallas's wonderful museums? Checked out adjacent Ft. Worth? Driven to other Texas cities for weekends? Gone to any of the many plays and concerts given in the Dallas area? Checked out non-sports related open to the public at local colleges and universities?
Dallas isn't just a big cow town. Like almost any place, it's what you make it.
BTW, this thread started over two years ago. I hope the OP has found a way to move to NYC, or has resigned herself to suburban living until her circumstances change.
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When I say I hate the suburban lifestyle, I mean I absolutely HATE it! I hate having to drive everywhere I need to go. I hate the attitudes of the people. I have the fact that the biggest pasttime is mall shopping and the closes thing to culture is Chuck E Cheeses. There is NOTHING to do out here at all (and, believe me, I've tried to find stuff). 
