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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caltovegas
There is a major question that men have to consider. What does it benefit a man to be married beyond the child rearing years?
Biologically it makes a fair amount of sense, actually. Reproductive success isn't just about reproducing. It is about reproducing and having those offspring successfully reproduce themselves. Success is finally measure in continuance of our genes in future generations. We're a heavily K selected species that require a considerable amount of investment in our offspring both resource wise and time wise to get them to the next generation. If a grandfather (or grandmother) contribute to their grandchildren being biologically successful, they're helping themselves biologically. We're not the only species that shows this multigenerational commitment, actually, especially when you consider most herds, tribes, etc have considerable biological connection. The math is fairly straightforward on this. The question then becomes are intact nuclear families (extended) more likely, on average, to be able to help those generations succeed.
The OP assumed, Wrongly, that a bitter man MUST be because of a woman. NOT TRUE. I am bitter because people in general do not have common sense, society is rewarding all the fakers/posers and because the culture of entitlement drives me nuts.
Zero problems with women in general though.
When dealing with another human, I gauge usefulness and intelligence based on what is said and how its said, not based on gender. Pretty stupid people are all around me, from ALL genders.
Last edited by lulo; 04-16-2014 at 11:29 AM..
Reason: bitterness makes me forget how to build sentences.
The OP assumed, Wrongly, that a bitter man MUST be because of a woman. NOT TRUE. I am bitter because people in general do not have common sense, society is rewarding all the fakers/posers and because the culture of entitlement drives me nuts.
Zero problems with women in general though.
When dealing with another human, I gauge usefulness and intelligence based on what is said and how its said, not based on gender. Pretty stupid people are all around me, from ALL genders.
Anyone can become bitter. But if someone does, there is no need to take it personal or become resentful towards them, since we don't know the impact of what a series of life dramas had on them. I think empathy works best. Since I am also imperfect, I try to manage how I deal with life by working to control my thoughts and actions. If I give in to bitterness, eventually I hurt myself as well as others. The same is true by keeping score of wrongs, refusing to reconcile with the offender.
It's not rocket science. People don't make you feel certain ways. You allow yourself to feel a certain way. You have complete control. It is a choice.
If this is the case then why does anyone seek out social companionship? According to those words, a guy can spend his whole life playing video games and surfing the internet and still be happy without social contact because happiness is all in his head right?
We were led to believe that Suzy Rottencrotch was Polly Princess, when she was really Suzy Rottencrotch.
Suzy's from Marine Corps Boot Camp. I'm not bitter at all, I have an remarkable wife, cute, sexy and hysterically funny. I'm baffled by some other women and feminism in particular, but by no means am I bitter.
How did you get to the mindset you have today? What events or observations shaped your views on women?
I was raised by a severe neurotic. She never took an interest in her children, never read to them, never talked about family, took no interest in school work. I was sent to the first grade so unprepared that I did not know I had a last name. Really.
I was sent out to deliver papers when I was 10. She made me give her the money, but I didn't know any better, so I just did it. I went to bed dirty; went to school dirty.
I never met any other relative. She was estranged from her family, so she was the only relative I had.
When I was 16 I was forced from the home. I had developed a mind of my own and pushing back against her tyranny proved to be fatal. She forced me out by not speaking to me (at all) for months on end, not allowing me to eat with my sisters and brother, and reminding me that I would never amount to anything.
So I was sent to live with my father, who found my living with him to be preferable to paying child support. He had raped my half sister when we were little so he never visited. He was afraid to stop paying child support until the 7 year statute of limitations had expired. His wife (my stepmother) was openly hostile and resentful. I lived with them for a year and a half and cannot remember a single time when she was encouraging or supportive. They left me no alternative except to go into the navy when I was 17, as they refused to pay for any further education or even allow me to remain in their home. I never saw them again, not even for Christmas.
When I was 20 I fell in love with a beautiful girl. We became engaged and made promises to each other. Military obligations sent me to Viet Nam and within a few weeks she was pregnant by someone else. She married him without telling me, and left me to find out through mutual friends. I never saw her again.
Bitter?
No. Today, I am 68 years old, have been married for 24 years and am loved by my stepdaughters and wife (and dogs). We are fairly wealthy, owning 3 houses (2 rented) and with a comfortable retirement. Last year we went to Bermuda for a week.
The mother who treated me so badly is still alive. I pay her bills for her, and make sure she has what she needs, but there is no great love for her. She is simply an old woman who needs help. The rest of her children will have nothing to do with her. Or each other, for that matter.
Lots of folks have reason to be bitter. Some of them express their bitterness, others choose not to. I am here to tell you that no one HAS to be bitter.
The OP assumed, Wrongly, that a bitter man MUST be because of a woman. NOT TRUE. I am bitter because people in general do not have common sense, society is rewarding all the fakers/posers and because the culture of entitlement drives me nuts.
Zero problems with women in general though.
When dealing with another human, I gauge usefulness and intelligence based on what is said and how its said, not based on gender. Pretty stupid people are all around me, from ALL genders.
I take this view too but it does not make me cynical or bitter. Just like I'm not bitter at gravity or the fact the earth is round. If you believe this is reality, why are you bitter?
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