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any adult who's a virgin obviously has something wrong with him. attracting women and having sex in the whole reason we exist on this planet, to reproduce. if you fail at that, you literally fail at life.
i'd view someone like that as highly suspect and weird, precisely the type of lunatic who'd go on a shooting rampage.
I was a virgin until I was 21 and met my first husband. I don't see anything wrong at all with remaining celibate outside of marriage. I also don't think that having kids within marriage instead of all over the place by different people is wrong. Some of us view this whole sex thing as something to be cherished and treated as precious, not simply a "biological imperative." I'm neither suspect nor weird. In fact, I'm pretty darn intelligent and mentally stable as well. Please refrain from these kinds of generalizations since it's apparent from making this one that you don't know a lot of adult virgins.
He'd had problems with males, including a roommate and general bullying. He was messed-up and creepy and I wouldn't expect women to date him.
But what also is messed-up is the title of the thread. Is what happened funny? I don't know if most lonely men think the women they like should date them, but I'm sure many of them are frustrated with common female behaviors and attitudes. Rejecting in nasty ways, shooting down guys very fast for not creating instant sparks, using men for free drinks or free meals, having ridiculous standards (e.g., being average-looking and expecting a rich stud), using Facebook and online dating for pseudo-companionship and ego-feeding, putting little real effort into being attractive (e.g., obesity, enmeshment with moms, and cat-hoarding), giving disingenuous dating-related advice to men, etc. Those are things the sisterhood should address, lest other guys violently lash out or probably directly or indirectly kill just themselves at high rates. Men are doing many things wrong, too, by the way, and perhaps also some genetically lousy men (like the Santa Barbara shooter) never should have been born. The sexes can get along better with each other, if enough people make the effort.
So you really think women who are overweight are "putting little real effort into being attractive?" Have you considered that a good number of overweight women are that way as the result of being abused and/or molested as children? I did a research paper on this in college and got quite a good grade on it, by the way, so I'm not just shooting off at the mouth. Besides, outside of the USA, many countries don't see overweight women as particularly unattractive. Go south of the border. I had a friend who vacationed in Mexico and she was propositioned by many men who viewed her voluptuous body as particularly attractive. They like a little something to hang on to, they said. They don't like skinny women. Just because Hollywood and advertising has brainwashed a goodly portion of American society into thinking that thin, artificially enhanced, airbrushed women are "beautiful" that doesn't mean that the people who believe the lies are in touch with reality.
How about men who have forgotten that women are genetically disposed to having extra tissue and fat deposits, especially around the hips and belly, in order to protect developing fetuses from danger in case of a fall or other kind of injury? The pelvic shape of women is wider to accommodate birth as well. Just because a woman has extra weight doesn't mean she's not attractive. She might just a woman who values brains over airbrushing.
Try making friends first and treating women like people. You might be surprised at what you discover.
I just read the chilling transcripts from a video posted by the Santa Barbara killer. I was struck by how eerily similar his rhetoric is to some of the young guys who post here. I understand he also posted at bodybuilding.com like many of the guys that come here lamenting the fact that they can't "get a female."
Of course my post title is facetious. But I wonder if getting enmeshed in an Internet community where such ideas are supported may be perpetuating the isolation and disconnection to reality. What can we in our own lives do? If anything?
You can see the answer in his own words, and the same thing applies to some of them who post on here. Who is "you girls"?
Women to these men are all-the-same, faceless blobs from which they want sexual gratification, not individual people in whom they are interested in getting to know.
That's completely ridiculous. The "nice girls" (whatever that means) are every bit as taken by the thugs as the rest. Hypergamy is a basic tenant of female biology. The idea that the sexes are equally picky is preposterous.
I married someone who would be considered "beneath myself" yet I never thought of him as such. He doesn't have a college degree; he's not well-read; he never owned a fancy car or wore a designer suit. However, he's a kind, caring man who loves me and accepted the children from my first marriage as his own. One again we encounter someone making generalizations based on opinion instead of looking for truths. I didn't care how much money he made. I wanted a man who treated me right, who respected my abilities and skills as much as his own, and who was looking for a lifelong commitment and not just a roll in the hay. We're not all looking to marry up. Many of us just want a nice guy who will be good to us.
Not correct. It is perceived as exclusion from the gene pool by those who need instant gratification and for those so-called "nice guys" who refuse to consider the "nice girls".
Some very nice girls can't buy a date. My best friend is probably a 7 on a scale of 1-10, she's intelligent, hard working, loyal, honest and fun to be around. She can't buy a date. Never has been able to. She's always been on the heavy side (180 pounds and 5'4") and men don't give her a second look. She's one of the nicest people I know.
There are women out there who would love to have a nice caring man show them some attention but they are not what men want so men don't. I understand because I was never what men wanted either. I was never pretty enough so I sat home on Saturday nights. In high school the only two boys who paid any attention to me were a nerd who didn't know how to take a bath and a guy who started his career as an alcoholic in 9th grade (that's how far down the list I was. He died in his 40's BTW of complications related to lifelong alcohol abuse.). For some of us, pickings are slim. The funny thing is people don't seem to notice us when they claim that nice men can't find nice women. We're invisible.
I find it very interesting that I've had two men from my past comment that they wish they'd met someone like me when they were younger. They don't even see the irony in what they are saying. They did meet someone exactly like me. They met me but I didn't make the cut. What they are saying is they wanted to meet someone more appealing with my character.
I'm always amazed when I watch television shows like Happily Never After and see a nice man hook up with a scheming woman who is just playing him. How many invisible women did he pass over to get the arm candy that takes him to the cleaners or worse?
Unless a woman looks like Susan Boyle, they all have at least a few who are into them.
Okay, that's rude. Susan can't help what she looks like. She stayed at home to take care of her mum, which was the norm for the oldest female in some societies for a long time, even our own. My oldest aunt on my Dad's side (we're talking South Carolina here) never got married but instead stayed home and, like a typical spinster, took care of her parents as they got older and then inherited their home when they died. There's nothing to say Susan didn't have a man - or more - interested in her when she was younger; she just had different goals in life than getting married at that time.
Looks shouldn't be a way to judge whether someone would have potential as a life-mate. It's much more important to be kind, loving, committed and honest than to be what others might see as pretty. Looks - heck, looks can disappear any time. All it takes is a car accident or a shooting or a freak wild animal attack while on vacation to turn a 10 into a 2. People need to remember that.
I think I should point out again that 1 in 4 teen girls has STD's! Does this not concern anyone? We would all be better off if there were more virgins.
How many boys have STDs? These teenage girls don't get them alone!!!
Okay, that's rude. Susan can't help what she looks like. She stayed at home to take care of her mum, which was the norm for the oldest female in some societies for a long time, even our own. My oldest aunt on my Dad's side (we're talking South Carolina here) never got married but instead stayed home and, like a typical spinster, took care of her parents as they got older and then inherited their home when they died. There's nothing to say Susan didn't have a man - or more - interested in her when she was younger; she just had different goals in life than getting married at that time.
Looks shouldn't be a way to judge whether someone would have potential as a life-mate. It's much more important to be kind, loving, committed and honest than to be what others might see as pretty. Looks - heck, looks can disappear any time. All it takes is a car accident or a shooting or a freak wild animal attack while on vacation to turn a 10 into a 2. People need to remember that.
The problem is this is the way men think. Things like character and loyalty don't matter if you don't have what they think are reasonable looks. You're correct that she cannot help what she looks like but the real problem is people who judge her on looks first. She's someone who put family first. She's loyal and caring. I know that because she took care of her mom.
Even if you are going to use looks, the truth is there are as many unhandsome men as there are unpretty women but they don't seem to want the unpretty women. I have a neighbor who talks about wanting to meet someone. He's maybe a 4 on a scale of 1-10 but he wants a 9. He won't look in the pool that's available to him. The 9's you see want 10's.
I remember my dad complaining at the age of 75 that all the women in his senior complex that were available were old. Many of them were 20 years younger than him. He wanted a 40 year old. He wasn't getting one but he wanted one. Some people just want what they cannot have and refuse to see what they can have. I'm sure my dad could have found a caring 60 year old woman to spend his final years with. Instead he spent them alone lamenting that he couldn't get a 40 year old anymore. We found two unopened economy boxes of condoms when we cleaned out dad's things. He was prepared if he ever got that 40 year old.
I think it's male nature to want the best and not see the rest. I look at my neighbor across the street and in my younger days would have loved to have someone like him pay me some attention. He's hard working, intelligent and successful but like many men he only notices pretty women. He has the bar set higher than he can attain because the pretty women have their pick. They have no problem getting a man's attention.
I hope Susan meets someone she can happily spend her life with.
Doesn't it bother anyone looks and sex aside, this guy was clearly entitled? People who have a grandiose sense of entitlement are prone to mental disorders. When they don't get their way, they make the lives of others miserable. Isn't that the real problem here?
I think maybe it's the other way around.....people who are prone to mental disorders often have a grandiose sense of entitlement. Think about it....narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, people with bipolar disorder, schizophrenics....anyone with a number of recognized mental disorders can present with an inflated sense of self. I think sometimes people put the cart before the horse.
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So you really think women who are overweight are "putting little real effort into being attractive?" Have you considered that a good number of overweight women are that way as the result of being abused and/or molested as children? I did a research paper on this in college and got quite a good grade on it, by the way, so I'm not just shooting off at the mouth. Besides, outside of the USA, many countries don't see overweight women as particularly unattractive. Go south of the border. I had a friend who vacationed in Mexico and she was propositioned by many men who viewed her voluptuous body as particularly attractive. They like a little something to hang on to, they said. They don't like skinny women. Just because Hollywood and advertising has brainwashed a goodly portion of American society into thinking that thin, artificially enhanced, airbrushed women are "beautiful" that doesn't mean that the people who believe the lies are in touch with reality. 
Some very nice girls can't buy a date. My best friend is probably a 7 on a scale of 1-10, she's intelligent, hard working, loyal, honest and fun to be around. She can't buy a date. Never has been able to. She's always been on the heavy side (180 pounds and 5'4") and men don't give her a second look. She's one of the nicest people I know. 
They don't even see the irony in what they are saying. They did meet someone exactly like me. They met me but I didn't make the cut. What they are saying is they wanted to meet someone more appealing with my character. 
Okay, that's rude. Susan can't help what she looks like. She stayed at home to take care of her mum, which was the norm for the oldest female in some societies for a long time, even our own. My oldest aunt on my Dad's side (we're talking South Carolina here) never got married but instead stayed home and, like a typical spinster, took care of her parents as they got older and then inherited their home when they died. There's nothing to say Susan didn't have a man - or more - interested in her when she was younger; she just had different goals in life than getting married at that time.
