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I shouldn't still be worried about being "popular" or "well liked," but I work as a substitute teacher, and I really think personality goes a long way towards connecting with the kids. I'm more or less socially withdrawn, extremely shy, or introverted. I don't enjoy social contact much, because I feel like I'm awkward with it. I'm the kind of person who likes to do things "right." I don't like to try something new if I don't feel like I know what I'm doing. I feel like this cautiousness may be hurting my job performance, though.
You would be best to learn about WHAT exactly is going on in the kid's minds about substitute teachers!
I can tell you it was NOT anything to do with liking her or being nice to her when I was in middle / high school. Rather we looked upon substitute teachers as a "vacation" from work. Someone we could easily manipulate and lie to so we could get out of doing any work! We would push them to the limit - if we could.
With that said, the "successful" substitute teacher came in with a stern no-nonsense look which could kill!
I should think that would be the best way to handle the little monsters?
Other than that, talk to the school principal or experienced teachers. I'm sure they have gone through what you are going through - would have the best advice.
Substitute teachers are just seen as mince-meat for the kids, even the nice ones. Trying to connect? I wouldn't even bother, honestly. Just get the work done.
Assuming it's my fault, though, what could I do to make myself more "likeable?" I feel like I have some kind of personality defect, maybe Aspergers or Social Anxiety Disorder. I doubt my ability to communicate with people, so I usually don't do anything. People greet me, for instance, and I don't immediately know how to respond.
I was thinking about going to Second City comedy school, joining Toastmasters, or getting involved in something else that would help make socializing more intuitive, but I don't seem to have time or money.
Assuming it's my fault, though, what could I do to make myself more "likeable?" I feel like I have some kind of personality defect, maybe Aspergers or Social Anxiety Disorder. I doubt my ability to communicate with people, so I usually don't do anything. People greet me, for instance, and I don't immediately know how to respond.
I was thinking about going to Second City comedy school, joining Toastmasters, or getting involved in something else that would help make socializing more intuitive, but I don't seem to have time or money.
I have seen your posts on many forums. What it's going to take is to like yourself and to be comfortable "in your own skin" so to speak. That's going to take counseling and therapy. Use your time and money for that, to help find YOU. A bunch of anonymous people on the Internet won't do it for you. Once you find you, and are happy with who you are, then the pieces will fall into place, no matter what career you chose. Please find some help locally, not here. I don't mean this in a harsh way, just in a realistic way.
Assuming it's my fault, though, what could I do to make myself more "likeable?" I feel like I have some kind of personality defect, maybe Aspergers or Social Anxiety Disorder. I doubt my ability to communicate with people, so I usually don't do anything. People greet me, for instance, and I don't immediately know how to respond.
I was thinking about going to Second City comedy school, joining Toastmasters, or getting involved in something else that would help make socializing more intuitive, but I don't seem to have time or money.
Toastmasters is only $20 every 6 months. That seems like a low price for something that will help you succeed in life. In the meantime, do you have anyone who knows you very well and will be totally honest, that you can ask how you come across to others?
Perhaps it will help for you to realize you are not alone. Thing is, you are who you are and it probably isn't all bad. For starters, you care enough to ask the question. From my own experience I'd suggest that how you are feeling in the moment would affect how you respond to your environment. For me, on a good day I could be the life of the party but on an average day I too wouldn't know how to respond - and my days were average to iffy mostly. So what I'm suggesting is taking care of how you feel. Learn the tricks as much as you can. Accept the fact that you may be a little different (not saying that you are). If you are 'different' then capitalize on it and turn it into an asset. And for that you may need some assistance such as has been suggested, counselling. You could try learning a strategy for coping with 'awkward' situations like developing a routine that you can use. But mostly, learn to accept yourself and learn to like yourself just as you are. You might well have a lot to offer those kids!
I shouldn't still be worried about being "popular" or "well liked," but I work as a substitute teacher, and I really think personality goes a long way towards connecting with the kids. I'm more or less socially withdrawn, extremely shy, or introverted. I don't enjoy social contact much, because I feel like I'm awkward with it. I'm the kind of person who likes to do things "right." I don't like to try something new if I don't feel like I know what I'm doing. I feel like this cautiousness may be hurting my job performance, though.
Maybe you are thinking of gregarious kind of people who can indeed be fun to be around. However, that doesn't make them effective teachers. Generally, I think that if you are effective in your job, you start to become well-liked. Who doesn't like a teacher who teaches well? Socially popular, no. But popular substitute teacher, yes.
I would worry less about being right and instead try to be more effective.
Inner-city kids need a special kind of teacher who can connect with them. It would help a lot if I could learn to be gregarious and outgoing. As it stands, people I try to interact with think that I'm not interested or annoyed, for some reason. I don't come off as a very nice or interesting person. I would like to change that.
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