Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have recently learned that this is common in Asian families. My nephew is about 40, and married a few years ago to a Vietnamese girl his age. They moved from Houston to SoCal where his job was.
Her family has had some tragedies so she has spent most of her married life with them back in Houston. My nephew lost his job, and his wife is rarely with him. It seems he is "OK" with it, from what his mother says, but who knows how he really feels.
Apparently in that culture, parents remain #1, and first obligations are to them, not the spouse.
My point in posting this, is to ask if anyone has run across this before? What eventually happened---divorce or just putting up with the situation? Obviously it's my nephew's choice, but I am just curious if others have experienced this, and how did it turn out?
I have recently learned that this is common in Asian families. My nephew is about 40, and married a few years ago to a Vietnamese girl his age. They moved from Houston to SoCal where his job was.
Her family has had some tragedies so she has spent most of her married life with them back in Houston. My nephew lost his job, and his wife is rarely with him. It seems he is "OK" with it, from what his mother says, but who knows how he really feels.
Apparently in that culture, parents remain #1, and first obligations are to them, not the spouse.
My point in posting this, is to ask if anyone has run across this before? What eventually happened---divorce or just putting up with the situation? Obviously it's my nephew's choice, but I am just curious if others have experienced this, and how did it turn out?
Not just Asians, but some people of other cultures put their birth families first and their significant-others second (or maybe to say last, would be more accurate).
I had a woman friend once, who had to talk to her mother long-distance for an hour every day after getting home from work, before she'd even acknowledge that I existed. I could see what the future was in that and made my escape. The odd thing was, that before we went to another state, this didn't happen.
Yes, I am aware of this. This is why it is SO important for people to realize that marrying outside of one's culture needs more consideration than marrying within one's culture. I warned my son about this when he married, he didn't listen. She expects "per her culture" and he doesn't bend - happy, happy, joy, joy, NOT!
Simply not true, especially not true with asians.
My wife is chinese, I told she she follows me , I don't follow a woman . If she doesn't support me I'd divorce her.
Don't expect a woman to believe in you if you don't believe in yourself.
That goes for any woman. Anywhere.
Lot of confused men around.I
Simply not true, especially not true with asians.
My wife is chinese, I told she she follows me , I don't follow a woman . If she doesn't support me I'd divorce her.
Don't expect a woman to believe in you if you don't believe in yourself.
That goes for any woman. Anywhere.
Lot of confused men around.I
Do you think it is healthy for you or her to elevate yourself above her this way?
Not just Asians, but some people of other cultures put their birth families first and their significant-others second (or maybe to say last, would be more accurate).
For some cultures blood is thicker than water.
SO (can) come and go (multitudes of marriages in our society end in divorce), but parents are blood relatives, and so are siblings, and kids. At least for many families w normal/loving/caring relationship between family members, the ties are always stronger when it comes to family than people outside or added to the family. It is often associated with importance of landownership, inheritance, and social stratification. This model seem to be outdated, and more common in cultures/ethnicity where specific genogram model rules.
In modern society, generally most married people put their spouse first, their kids second and their parents third.
Simply not true, especially not true with asians.
My wife is chinese, I told she she follows me , I don't follow a woman . If she doesn't support me I'd divorce her.
Don't expect a woman to believe in you if you don't believe in yourself.
That goes for any woman. Anywhere.
Lot of confused men around.I
I think YOU and "some" men are confused. But that doesn't apply to any woman, all men, and definitely not anywhere...
Simply not true, especially not true with asians.
My wife is chinese, I told she she follows me , I don't follow a woman . If she doesn't support me I'd divorce her.
Don't expect a woman to believe in you if you don't believe in yourself.
That goes for any woman. Anywhere.
Lot of confused men around.I
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMansLands
Do you think it is healthy for you or her to elevate yourself above her this way?
I'm sure it works GREAT for him...and maybe okay for her if she started at the absolute bottom so this is some kind of improvement, relatively speaking. I feel badly for her.
Simply not true, especially not true with asians.
My wife is chinese, I told she she follows me , I don't follow a woman . If she doesn't support me I'd divorce her.
Don't expect a woman to believe in you if you don't believe in yourself.
That goes for any woman. Anywhere.
Lot of confused men around.I
Simply not true, especially not true with asians.
My wife is chinese, I told she she follows me , I don't follow a woman . If she doesn't support me I'd divorce her.
Don't expect a woman to believe in you if you don't believe in yourself.
That goes for any woman. Anywhere.
Lot of confused men around.I
What, you mean I have been doing it all wrong for over 20 years.
I am going to go tell my wife this, be right back guys, I'll let you know how it goes.........
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
