I am not a Liar! she said. (relationship, people)

[Participant99]

EDIT: I'll be frank here, this is my mother, she is 58. I am 34.

This is a short post, I couldn't find the term I was looking for on the Internet.

I would like your help in defining a person who isn't lying, but isn't correct either... a person who says things that are not true, a person who skips details for no observable reason.

"white lie" comes to mind, but it just doesnt feel like it fits...

An example is stating that something happened today, but it really happened yesterday.

I know they know this and when tested will admit it, but have no reason that they are willing to share to explain why they do it.

It is infuriating to my personality, I feel like I am being constantly lied to or deceived for no reason, especially because it happens a lot every time I speak with this person.

these are all senseless lies, that do not help or give anyone any advantage, just useless lies.

I gave this person a ride to the store the other day but then there were other places they wanted to go, I asked several times to confirm it was just one place... but there were other places too she actually wanted to go. I'll admit this one is common, it is really the consistency of the situation.

In one day they will lie or alter the truth at least 20+ times for no reason...

I do not want our relationship to continue to dissolve, I am beginning to resent the constant lying or whatever you would call it, because they deny it all... and is oblivious to it except when given proof?

Any help would be enlightening....! this city-data forum has been very helpful in the past.

I may not be able to change them, but I can't understand or accept this behavior without some reference for why it is happening.

thanks.

[ChicagoMeO]

its called a "lie of ommission" (opposed to a lie of commission) when you leave out important details that makes the lie not seem like a lie, but it is a lie of ommission.

Flim flamming, deception, pulling the wool over your eyes.

could be - absent minded, fear of being honest, fear of being criticized if told the truth, non-assertiveness, conniving, (depending on the intent of the liar)

more evil would be a socio-path, a person with a lack of empathy, a conrol freak,

it all boils down to - the person's character, and values, to their core, it depends on why - could be a defense mechanism, too afraid of speaking ones true mind, afraid of criciticsm, doesn't care, learned behavior, thinks its fun to dodge the truth, does not want to deal with confronting so they lie to not have to deal with the truth, easier to lie than to tell the truth.

[TamaraSavannah]

Maybe she just wants you to stay around more. Hence the difference in stops on the route.

As far as today vs yesterday, yes, that's odd, but let me give you a different example or 2.

If someone asks me if I have been drinking and it has been 8+ hours, the answer is "No" but less than 8, the answer is "Yes" even though that time span may fall in the same day. It is not a lie because in my world, the accepted detox time, "bottle to throttle" is 8 hours.

As a night shift worker, I see the day in a 24 hour clock. To others, they might see my work today as that I worked Thursday night (I go to work when it is dark, I leave the house when it is still Thursday) but to me, that's incorrect. My shift is Friday morning.

How we view time, what we call it can vary from person to person. Especially if one considers this: My shift starts at the start of the day....so why is it called "3rd Shift" while the people who come in at 0800 are on "1st Shift"?