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Having kids only under 35 is a relatively new concept. Pretty much starting around maybe 1940s.
If you go back from Dawn of time to early 20th century women routinely had kids in their 40s. Remember, folks had like 8-12 kids and there was no birth control you just had kids till your body could no longer have kids.
My wife had her last kid at 42, my Mom had her last child at 40, My Grandma had my Mom at 40 (and she has two younger siblings). And my great Grandma who had 12 kids had a few after 40.
As far as I can go back, prettty much folks having 10-14 kids back in day near impossible to have that many and do it all under 40.
That said the doctor did tell my wife it is easier to have kids over 40 if you already had kids. If you never had kids it is extremely difficult to diagose fertility problems.
but also, think of this- older fathers will spend less time outside with their kids
I was 27 when my son was born and thru the years on birthday parties and gatherings, I was one of the only two dads playing in the outside games with the kids, the other older fathers were wayyy out of shape and couldn't run 15 yards
also I would coach sports and you could definitely see the difference of kids that had no exposure to sports at all - and kids that fathers played a lot with them...
and it was usually the younger fathers that took the time with their sons and daughters
my son had friends/boys over and we would go fishing, swimming and drive atv's go karts, the boys loved it - again,,,the boys with older fathers or no fathers in their life really loved trying a lot of this stuff, because it was new to them.
I dont get what you are talking about. I have kids the same exact age as my cousins who are 12 years younger. I have five times the energy as any of them and do five times much with my kids. Additionally, by being 12 years older I make a lot more money and can afford to have my wife stay home with the kids.
Some folks maybe be out of shape but has nothing to do with age.
Also sports does have a big of a negative side. Last college intern program we had we ended up with 14 girls and 1 boy. Folks asked was it a program for college girls? Also the majority of recent college hires for good jobs have been girls.
I asked HR about and they said when I interview a lot of boys I asked them about exprerience and I get I throw ball, I kick ball, I catch ball and she is like sorry we dont have balls in the office. The girls focus clubs, activities and after school jobs on things that can help there career.
I know I am generalizing but there seems to be an emphsis on sports today. When I was a kid Mom would yell stop playing basketball and come in and do your homework or your chores. Todays sports is considered almost a job for a boy between 5 and 18.
At age 35, if you get pregnant now, you will be 53 when your child is 18.
While 53 isn't old, it isn't young, either. Unless you plan to take a temporary time off for mothering, you would need to get back to work pretty quickly. If you plan on being a full-time mother, 53 is going to be hard for you to get back into the workplace.
Of course, age has just as many advantages when it comes to child rearing as youth. But considering your life outside of motherhood should be done, too. While it seems kids are home forever while one is raising them, that time becomes the wink of an eye when they fly off the nest.
I have to ask - what have you been doing all this time? You're 35....haven't gotten the degree you want and haven't had the kids you supposedly want. Now you're trying to cram it ALL in - while being sure there's no gap in employment on your resume! I'd say you need to prioritize but perhaps you already have and education and kids are not at the top of the list?!
As others have said, 35 is getting up there...it's not like tv where 45 year olds can get pregnant in a month or two and you don't have insurance for IVF or other fertility treatments, at the moment anyway. If you REALLY want kids do it now...although overall I'd say re-think if you really want them...and it's actually fine NOT to. Don't get me wrong on that point - no one should have kids unless they're absolutely sure they want them and I fault no one for deciding they don't.
I can't suggested having a child without some financial stability. It just isn't worth the risk.
The age is reaching the cusp where it could be a bit risky. For myself, I was much healthier at 35 than I was in my mid-20's when I had my child, and I think I would have had an easier time. On the other hand, my mother was 40 when I came along and she became a wreck in raising a hyper-active child. She also got hit with menopause a little earlier than some women and it made things even worse for her.
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