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I always wonder why people keep mixing up "jealousy" and "envy." Some people think they are interchangeable, but they aren't. Aside from having completely different definitions for the words, the feelings FEEL completely different.
If you see someone who has something cool, and you wish you had that cool thing, that's envy, not jealousy. But a lot of people call that "jealousy" in error. "What, are you jealous because I have this cool thing?"
"Oh, they're just jealous of all you have." No, they're envious of what you have, not jealous.
Envious is how you feel when someone else has something that you want.
Jealous is how you feel when you have something that you think others want or will try to take.
Here are three people: A, B, and C
A and B are in a committed relationship
C is in love with B
What C feels when he/she sees A and B together is envy.
If C is flirting with B, and B is giving attention to C, then what A feels is jealousy.
Most of us have been in both positions; we've all been A, and we've all been B. Remember how different those feelings are? Really, go back in your mind to those situations in your life and think about them. Envy and jealousy are very different.
So I guess I have two separate problems with people mixing up the two words and concepts. One is the vocabulary thing (as evidenced in other posts, I'm a bit of a stickler for grammar and vocabulary). When you talk about an envy situation but you say the word jealousy, you come off as uneducated or just plain dumb. Two is the difference in the quality of those feelings. If you've every felt envy, and you've ever felt jealousy, those experiences are different. Different thoughts run through your head, and different feelings rumble in your gut.
So why do people keep mixing them up?
I have a few hypotheses, but I want to see what others say first.
In this online resource, envy is listed as a synonym for jealousy.
In my opinion, it doesn't matter that people "mix them up." If someone uses the word jealous, you probably understand what he or she means. In fact in your post you signify that you understand.
So, if you understand what is being said, how is communication not taking place? Even modern dictionaries do not generally prescribe, but describe usage. It is entirely possible that usage in this case is changing. For me, the question is, "is this statement understandable?" I do not agree that someone using jealous for envy sounds dumb. There are far, far dumber ways to express oneself.
I myself wonder what is happening to prepositions? Where are they going? But people who make statements like, "a nice house to live" are still communicating. I don't like the way they speak, but this is the way spoken English is going. There isn't any thing I can do to stop it. If people understand, then I think it must be acceptable. (Unless it is offensive, obscene or horribly profane.)
I agree there are much dumber ways that people express themselves! I hear and see them on a daily basis. I didn't want to make this another grammar thread. I know this isn't the place for that. I can rant about the decline of the English language elsewhere (and I do).
The only reason the two words are now showing up as synonyms in a few places is because of the widespread misuse. Sure a dictionary website might say they are sometimes used as synonyms, but if you Google "jealousy or envy" you can find a lot of sites where the correct uses and definitions are discussed.
But I posted this in the Psych forum, mainly because even though people mix up the actual words, I have trouble understanding how they mix up the actual concepts, since the two feelings arise in different situations and feel so different from each other.
A and B are in a committed relationship
C is in love with B
What C feels when he/she sees A and B together is envy.
If C is flirting with B, and B is giving attention to C, then what A feels is jealousy.
I see where it's very easy to mix up. In the flirting scenario, A could be envious of the attention B is giving to C.
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I didn't want to make this another grammar thread. I know this isn't the place for that. I can rant about the decline of the English language elsewhere (and I do).
