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Here's one we don't hear about very often. In this case (see link below), after many years had passed, the bully had feelings of remorse and decided to apologize to this man for what he did to him in the past.
Is it rare? Have you ever heard of a bully apologizing like this?
But here's the bigger question, if someone that bullied you or hurt you deeply in the past suddenly showed up and said they wanted to apologize to you, do you think you could find it within you to forgive them?
That is great that this bully apologized but did the guy who was bullied have to put it on the www?
That is something personal that should be kept between those who were involved.
At least the guy who got bullied got his 15 minutes of fame.
I wonder if he asked permission to use the bullies name.
I'm assuming the other bullies involved are probably workplace bullies continuing to torment adults, which is unfortunately all too common in today's world.
I have to give the bully credit for apologizing and wanting his child to be a better person than he was in his youth.
Bullies take great pleasure and love an audience while they abuse the bullied.
I don't think he got his 15 minutes of fame and maybe that is due to him. Maybe some adult bully will see that and think twice before they torture their co-workers, although I highly doubt it because those that never outgrow that behavior are sociopaths and psychopaths in our workplaces.
I sure would forgive the person and would be happy for the person that he finally grew up!
Sadly I went to a 10 year high school reunion, one bully was there, and had not changed a bit - he was attempting to bully people at the reunion! Everyone else (who had since matured and grown up) were looking at him like "What an idiot!" Note that he had become a sales manager at a car dealership.
His apology is too little too late. The damage is done.
I would have already forgiven him (for my own peace of mind) but would certainly never forget.
Apologizing is easy...it takes 1 minute, but in my opinion will never change the fear and torment that the victim went through DAILY for years and years.
I believe an apology is really just for the bullies peace of mind...saying I'm sorry doesn't change any of the hurt and torment the victim suffered.
It's not rare....lots of bullies figure saying... I'm sorry... absolves them of their guilt...it's an easy fix for them, and an easy way for them to forgive themselves I guess.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman
His apology is too little too late. The damage is done.
I would have already forgiven him (for my own peace of mind) but would certainly never forget.
Apologizing is easy...it takes 1 minute, but in my opinion will never change the fear and torment that the victim went through DAILY for years and years.
I believe an apology is really just for the bullies peace of mind...saying I'm sorry doesn't change any of the hurt and torment the victim suffered.
It's not rare....lots of bullies figure saying... I'm sorry... absolves them of their guilt...it's an easy fix for them, and an easy way for them to forgive themselves I guess.
As someone who was terrorized by bullies his entire education, I agree with you. I will not give the bully the satisfaction of cleaning their conscience by even responding to their half-a&^ed attempt to apologize in one minute for years of suffering I endured.
As someone who was terrorized by bullies his entire education, I agree with you. I will not give the bully the satisfaction of cleaning their conscience by even responding to their half-a&^ed attempt to apologize in one minute for years of suffering I endured.
That's your choice, but at the same time I think that living with that level of resentment is like drinking poison and expecting other people to get sick.
The childhood bully in the OP didn't have to say anything, but he realized that he was wrong and he put himself out there. That takes guts. And it takes guts for the bullied guy to say that it's water under the bridge. Both people can move on without this toxic business from the past haunting them. It's a great story.
I do not except any apology from any one that bullied me or my family. I do not resent these people, I just will not allow them to clear their mind of wrong behavior that they are probably still using against other people. If you except an apology from a bully you are being bully once again. A mature adult stands up to bullies, not bows down and except their terms.
I actually thank bullies for my maturing as a adolescent. I will no longer allow myself or my family to be bullied by anyone.
Had a bully in junior high. She was a piece of work. Did her level best to hurt me -- I didn't allow it. When we entered high school we took different paths. After high school I heard she attempted suicide from a friend. I shocked her when I said "Oh well -- better luck next time."
We talked about it for a long time -- she had no idea what had happened. But that's when I learned my bully had a MISERABLE life. Meanwhile, I had family who loved me and a pretty good life, and had just met the man of my dreams (still married to him 35 years later).
After talking about it with my friend, I realized I had let it go. Yeah -- I said a snarky thing, and frankly, I meant it when I said it, but in all those years that stuff was behind me, and I decided to leave it there.
Every once in a while, her name comes up, and 40 years later after her torment, she's still a hot mess. And I always think -- who won the war here? I feel apathetic towards her. I don't care at all. (and people do tell me to forgive. I have, but forgiving was for me, not her, and that doesn't mean I want that in my life again, because obviously SHE hasn't changed or learned anything) And then I forget her until I run into her name again.
Last edited by Tallysmom; 05-17-2015 at 04:52 PM..
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