Messy people

[texdav]

Most start out as children having parents force cleanliness and some once away never keep the habit often from being lazy adults.

[CSD610]

Originally Posted by magpiehere

Hello all. I recently moved and hope, once I am settled, to be a bit more clean/tidy than I was in my old place.

Any idea why we are messy and what to do about it? Ive always leaned on the messy side and for the most part my own mess doesn't bother me. I wish I cared more but I don't.

I understand I could modify my behavior and try to be cleaner but that has not worked in the past. I'm too much into doing things when i'm "in the mood" and scrubbing the bathroom is not a mood I get frequently.

I was hoping I could understand how we get to be tidy/messy people and how to combat if we wish to. I have super neat friends who need to relax - they are a different spectrum. Just pointing out you can be too much of a good thing too.

Some bad habits are showing themselves already (like company is coming over - just shove stuff into a closet instead of actually dealing with it).

I am good about keeping up with the laundry and cat box though, I'm not a total loss, and I do the dishes regularly (no dishwasher). I just wish I could change this core behavior of mine, the desire to be tidy just in me (but the desire to have company and to able to find stuff without the contstant searching is a factor).

My place is tiny, add that to the mix. And hoarding jokes are fine

You can change your behavior you choose not to so choose to change or stay as you are.
Either way it only affects you and those who visit you.

Do you really think no one notices you don't scrub your bathroom?

[TabulaRasa]

My husband is big on stacking up those random papers that accumulate "until a time when he can sit down and go through them" and decide what to recycle, what to shred, what to save, and what to throw away.

I'll tolerate it to a certain point, then I'll just chuck it, and if there was stuff in it that should have been shredded or recycled or saved, oh, well. Because there is never a time when he actually WANTS to sit down and go through them. If it were truly a priority, he'd do it.

[cat1116]

Originally Posted by TabulaRasa

For some, organization is hard. Sometimes, it's a matter of more stuff than you can neatly store/insufficient storage. For some, it's jealously guarding your time, and being willing to put off unappealing tasks because you'd rather spend the time doing something appealing. Sometimes (for my husband), it's a matter of wanting things conveniently within an arm's reach instead of having to go and get the from wherever their storage place is. Some people are willing to live with messiness if there is some tradeoff that is more important to them.

Some are just honest to goodness "pack rats" and as someone else already mentioned, there is just not enough room to put things in anymore.

[TabulaRasa]

My husband was raised very, very frugally and by people very opposed to waste. The rule of thumb was that one does NOT simply throw away a Ziploc baggie after using it. One washes it and reuses it until it is no longer usable. Same thing with yogurt cups, cottage cheese containers, and other things of that ilk. Which is fine until you have no room to store anymore because of all the recyclables that have been retained for reuse. Then, I take them all and to the recycle bin they go, and he can start the collection over. He just feels very guilty if he doesn't reuse/repurpose something, but recycles it after only one use. He will also keep clothing (bath towels, washcloths, etc.) until it is literally in threadbare rags, and will count on me to be the one to make the call that it's at the end of its life. He's not a hoarder, but he definitely has deeply ingrained behaviors about not treating things as disposable.

I get it and appreciate it, but a judgment call has to be made at some point, and I am very comfortable being the one to make it.

[Teckeeee]

I am divorcing a hoarder, but I have realized with some of my OCD issues I can't throw some of this stuff out either. I am throwing it out, but it's taking awhile and lot of pondering.

Clutter, yes, dirty no way. I overclean just ask the last water natzi when I was washing my car.

[KathrynAragon]

Mail: When you walk in the door with it, go immediately to whatever room has a shredder and trash can side by side (if you don't have this set up, set it up today.) Open mail. Shred what needs to be shredded. Throw away all junk mail. Shred/throw away all unnecessary pages of bills or important papers. Put bills that need to be paid on top of your keyboard. The next time you sit down at your computer, pay those bills immediately and then either shred the bill or file it. Right then.

Clean out all files twice a year.

This should get rid of unnecessary paper.

Magazines: I love magazines and have several subscriptions. I put the unread ones on the coffee table and I relax in the evening with a cup of hot tea or a glass of wine, and read them. I then rotate them to the bathrooms (aka the reading room). I have a magazine holder thingie and when that gets full, I throw out the oldest ones and sort of keep them rotating.

I DO NOT SAVE CATALOGS. Flip through 'em and then chunk 'em. It's not like they're not all online anyway. If I see something I like, I go online for it or go into the store. No need to keep the catalog.

Decorative "clutter:" About once a month or so, I intentionally step outside and then back inside and I look objectively at each room. I remove more than I'm comfortable with - and then I can add back in if I like. I have a closet under our stairs as well as a buffet, that I put extra "doodads" in - some of them seasonal stuff. That way I can rotate little decorative things out without having everything displayed all at once.

Kitchen: Take one drawer at a time. One per day. Clean it out. Buy drawer organizers and use them. Throw away anything you haven't used in a year.

Kitchen cabinets: Same as the drawers, except donate what you haven't used. Honestly, people, this takes about ten minutes max to go through one cabinet or one drawer. You have ten minutes per day. DON'T HANG ONTO THE PRESSURE COOKER YOU'VE NEVER USED. Immediately put the items in the trunk of your car and take them to Goodwill or wherever the next day. DON'T LOOK BACK.

Same with dishes, and mugs, and plastic cups, etc - you're simply not using all that stuff. THROW IT OUT THROW IT OUT THROW IT OUT.

Clothing: I go through my clothing at the end of each season, so about twice a year. If I haven't worn something in two years (not one year - but you could apply that standard as well), I rip it off the hanger and put it in the donation pile. The hardest thing to do is actually to take it off the hanger and throw it on the pile. Once I do it though, it's out of my mind. I have literally never once regretted getting rid of a single article of clothing.

I am a consummate professional when it comes to moving. We have a largish house (about 2600 square feet plus a storage building) and we moved into it last year, from a house of similar size. I had every single box unpacked and every single thing in place in one week. Here's how I do it:

1) Place furniture in each room first. That way your "bones" are in place.

2) Please tell me you've labeled your boxes. If so, place them in each appropriate room. DO NOT PLACE THEM IN THE GARAGE PLANNING TO DIG THROUGH THEM LATER. Put them in the room they belong in.

3) Set up the kitchen, one bathroom, and your bed next. That way, you can have some comfort in place. The kitchen will take all day but think it through beforehand and then as you unpack things (hopefully you've already culled through everything with great gusto) DON'T SET THEM ON THE COUNTER. Put them away immediately in the appropriate cupboard or drawer. Buy organizers beforehand and have them already set up. Same with the bathroom.

4) I always choose one spot - for me it's the dining room table - to put decorative items when I pull them out of the box. Until the furniture and all that is in place, I am not sure where I'm going to put the doodads. I also take all wall hangings into the dining room and lean them against the wall in there. Lamps too.

5) Go room by room - kitchen, then bathroom, then living area, then master bedroom, then office area, then minor bedrooms. Unpack each and every box. As you unpack each box, take empty boxes to garage. Touch everything ONCE - what I mean by that is unpack each item and immediately put it in it's proper place. Do not pile a bunch of stuff up and then plan on getting to it one day. No. Put it in it's place immediately.

6) If something doesn't fit in your new house, donate it. Get it out of there. Don't put it in the garage or attic thinking you might get to it one day. You won't - it will be sitting there six years from now when you're about to move again.

I think the key to success is a dash of ruthlessness. Listen - you will NOT use all those empty margarine containers again. You just won't. Toss them. Same with those jeans you've been hauling around for five years, thinking you're going to lose ten pounds and get back in them again. LET THEM GO.

Paper - AUGH. Get rid of it. Scan important documents. Get a small filing cabinet or a couple of filing boxes and only keep THE MOST IMPORTANT things. There is simply no need to hang onto that statement from Pier 1 from six months ago - or that phone bill you paid three months ago...or three years ago. CHUNK ALL THAT CRAP.

[magpiehere]

Originally Posted by texdav

Most start out as children having parents force cleanliness and some once away never keep the habit often from being lazy adults.

That came up a couple of times. I'm wondering about that. My mother was extrememly controlling and critical so of course I had to be super clean and the consequences bad if I didnt comply. I also never did anything "right" or "good enough" when it came to most things, including keeping my room clean.

I don think young kids necessarily know how to keep their things organized. I was good with schoolwork and outside activities, organzied and accomplished with that but I dont think I had tools to keep the house in a standing my mom approved of.

There are times Ive wondered if this is just leftover rebelling. But I'm in my 40s and I dont live for my mother, so....

[ohhwanderlust]

Honestly I think it's just genetic. For some people, being neat and tidy all the time is effortless. For me, it's something I have to consciously maintain and stress over.

[micC]

I've always been very messy (but not dirty), much to the chagrin of roommates that I have had. I suffer from extreme procrastination and laziness, which seeps through into every aspect of my life. I simply cannot bring myself to do something constructive unless I feel for some reason that I 'have' to.