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On one hand, my interests have changed over time, which is natural. I used to play video games, but I'm no longer interested. On the other hand, I don't find media-related activities to be the escape from stress that it used to be. I also don't find outdoor activities the stress-reliever it used to be.
I look on Youtube to watch video footage of yesteryear: The comment section and recommended video column tries to make you feel ashamed of something.
Modern pop music: Lyrics try to make you feel ashamed of something.
I take a walk outdoors or drive around: Some person in an anti-social mood tries to make you feel ashamed of something.
I go to the gym: Someone at the gym tries to make you feel ashamed of something.
I watch a sports game on TV: Remember watching the uplifting Super Bowl commercials that aired earlier this year?
So, the media and outdoor activities just feel like I'm in the fray, no different than the stresses that I have to deal with in everyday life, for my career and to keep a roof over my head.
For escapism and stress-relief, I'm down to drawing... and sleeping. Anything else I should try?
If you lose a job because someone made up a story about you, I can imagine someone else feeling angry and betrayed. Of course, I don't have to feel a certain way, but if that's how I genuinely felt, and any reasonable person would feel the same way, it's an understandable response, isn't it?
quote:.."but that's how I genuinely felt,....". Emotions are genuinely felt unless your acting.
quote:.."and any reasonable person would feel the same way,"unquote. (along time ago many reasonable people believed the earth was flat)
Are you saying the person that loves the same job is not reasonable because they love the job instead of claiming it stresses them?
It's easy to not recognize fact-triggered emotions and thought-triggered emotions.
Your emotions are consistent with the thoughts that trigger them. Recognizing whether it's facts or thoughts that trigger emotions
quote: ,..I don't have to feel a certain way, but if that's how I genuinely felt....' unquote. Feelings are always genuine no matter what triggers them. (fact or thought).
If a co-worker made up a story about you and it got you fired, it seems that you didn't have a genuine enough relationship with your bosses to save you from such lies. Was such a relationship possible? Why did no co-workers vouch for you?
Is it only social stressors which trigger the need for escapism? If so, how would you describe yourself in public? Do you feel compelled to act a certain way? Also, how strongly do other people's behaviours affect you emotionally (e.g. a momentary ugly stare, to bigger issues like a co-worker making up lies about you)?
1. No one (people, media, TV, etc) are not trying to make you feel anything.
2. Why are you so stressed in the first place? Learn stress management techniques to alleviate and remove the stress. Don't try to escape from it.
If a co-worker made up a story about you and it got you fired, it seems that you didn't have a genuine enough relationship with your bosses to save you from such lies. Was such a relationship possible? Why did no co-workers vouch for you?
Whoa, I have to make clear that I used a fictional example. The "school bully" was also fictional.
quote:.."but that's how I genuinely felt,....". Emotions are genuinely felt unless your acting.
quote:.."and any reasonable person would feel the same way,"unquote. (along time ago many reasonable people believed the earth was flat)
Are you saying the person that loves the same job is not reasonable because they love the job instead of claiming it stresses them?
It's easy to not recognize fact-triggered emotions and thought-triggered emotions.
Your emotions are consistent with the thoughts that trigger them. Recognizing whether it's facts or thoughts that trigger emotions
quote: ,..I don't have to feel a certain way, but if that's how I genuinely felt....' unquote. Feelings are always genuine no matter what triggers them. (fact or thought).
I guess that's my defense against the suggestion that I may be perceiving things the wrong way. If I happen to feel hurt, betrayed or disrespected after observing certain behavior or an event, would most people in my situation feel that way? If so, then I'm not overreacting. If it's not the way some people would act, then I need to take a closer look at why I feel that way. Would you agree with that?
Is it only social stressors which trigger the need for escapism? If so, how would you describe yourself in public? Do you feel compelled to act a certain way? Also, how strongly do other people's behaviours affect you emotionally (e.g. a momentary ugly stare, to bigger issues like a co-worker making up lies about you)?
I guess I'm bothered most by being "cut off" by people I have to be around every day-- at work, where I live or where I have to shop, etc. If they never look at or talk to you, if they act incredibly nervous around you. If it happens at work, it's more threatening because people you see every day don't explicitly tell you what's bothering them (which is probably the difference I've noticed with people I've met today vs 8 or so years ago-- people I've met don't speak up and air out their grievances, not in person anyway). It makes the workplace awkward, impacts your job performance, and makes you feel like you won't last long at that job.
At my last station in the military 6 years ago, I got into a bunch of verbal fights that I didn't initiate, was given bad performance marks, I had no support from upper leadership, and I was being isolated. That experience may have caused me to act more cautious around everyone. I'm honestly not sure if that was the cause, but after the military it feels like I constantly walk on eggshells in public. The only times I've felt at ease are when I was around some friends I knew before leaving the military.
Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal
1. No one (people, media, TV, etc) are not trying to make you feel anything.
2. Why are you so stressed in the first place? Learn stress management techniques to alleviate and remove the stress. Don't try to escape from it.
If I can be honest, 1. sounds dismissive to me.
I "escape" from it, because not all people are good people to know, not all events are your fault. Bad things happen sometimes, and you just have to deal with it. Like another person said, it's how you own up to the event and how it affects you.
If you get written up at work, if you have a road rage incident, if you're harassed in public-- if playing video games, going to the gym, or reading a funny website makes you feel better and gets your mind off of the stress, then you're mentally at ease and better prepared whenever or if-ever it happens again. Simple fix for life's circumstances. However, if you don't like the people at the local gym, maybe that isn't the place to go to relieve stress. Find another gym if you can, or find an alternative to the gym. That may sound "escapist" but it sounds reasonable to me.
I guess that's my defense against the suggestion that I may be perceiving things the wrong way. If I happen to feel hurt, betrayed or disrespected after observing certain behavior or an event, would most people in my situation feel that way? If so, then I'm not overreacting. If it's not the way some people would act, then I need to take a closer look at why I feel that way. Would you agree with that?
Is there a 'right way' to perceive?
"If I happen to feel hurt, betrayed or disrespected after observing certain behavior or an event, would most people in my situation feel the same way?"
If they evaluate what they perceive the same way you did, then yes they would feel the same way you do.
Many people perceived the earth as flat, (long ago). They shared the same 'world view', but it did not match facts. Paradigm shifts 'occur' from time to time.
The common, prevailing view, that's not recognized, because we been conditioned to do it 'subliminally', automatically by habit, which is to "believe our thought images are bona fide perceptions'.
When we didn't recognize 'bogyman' was only a thought, we reacted with fear to that perception.
Once we recognized it was only thought, we no longer feared that thought. We need to generalize, across-the-board to all thoughts and thereby no longer trigger needless emotions.
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