Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
(starting thread for a fellow hermit who was too shy to; LOL)
Anyone else find themselves all alone in the world, either by chance or by choice? What is your back story, and how do you feel about and cope with it?
*waving* thanks friend
I wanted to start such a thread but was too chicken.
I am alone, no family, I have 4 grown kids, 3 tolerate me (I was a horrid, unloving, emotionally detached mother), one doesn't speak to me at all.
I can fake social skills really well. I did so for years and years as a housewife, had kids that were involved in typical middle class kid stuff, had to interact with other mothers daily.
Oddly (to me) I seemed to always draw people; when single, no lack of suitors (I was goodlooking -not anymore- so we'll chalk that up to that) nor lack of females who tried to be friends.
I would try again and again to form a normal relationship both romantic type and friendship type. Inevitably I would terminate it. I grew bored and irritated. Every single time.
I am much better alone. I SO wish I had realized this at a young age. I would have never had kids, I would have had rescue dogs instead. I think I may be a sociopath but animal suffering reaallllly upsets me, also I am a responsible sort, and never "acted out" like I read that sociopaths do.
Ok that's just a start. Looking forward to reading others' "stories".
Last edited by VexedAndSolitary; 12-23-2015 at 11:20 AM..
A "sociopath" (formerly known as "psychopath") is without a conscience... I believe "anti-social" has a different meaning in that context, as in actually harmful to society versus just indifferent or averse to it.
At any rate, "schizoid" may apply to someone with no desire for ANY human contact, but that wouldn't fit in my case; I have always had it, would like to have it, and hope to have it again -- but have just found myself MAROONED by life, at this particular juncture. My hermit isn't by choice other than my being unwilling to settle for unsatisfactory relationships versus remaining alone. But I'd like SATISFACTORY ones.
I am not romantically alone. I have a husband and we are happy together (almost a decade!). We have small children and I love being "Mommy" more than I ever could have imagined. It's the friendship part that I have trouble with. I don't know how to fix it, because I DO want friends. I have had several acquaintances over the past 5-6 years, but they never move past that and fizzle out after several months to a year. It's a bummer.
I am not romantically alone. I have a husband and we are happy together (almost a decade!). We have small children and I love being "Mommy" more than I ever could have imagined. It's the friendship part that I have trouble with. I don't know how to fix it, because I DO want friends. I have had several acquaintances over the past 5-6 years, but they never move past that and fizzle out after several months to a year. It's a bummer.
Do you get bored and dump em like I do? Do they start to annoy you?
I have two long term (22 and 17yrs) friends, both live far from me. That's why the friendship lasted I think.
I have an ex who is a sort of "pal", we can talk and he'd help me if I needed, but we never hang out nor want to.
Um not really. Unfortunately I think it's the other way around :/. I am hoping it is just a location thing; I don't seem to fit in with the mindset/opinions here. Hopefully after we move this summer things will be better.
I also think I am kinda boring. We live on a very tight budget so we can't ever doing anything, which means I don't have much to talk about beyond my kids. They all talk about their vacations, weekend trips, expensive outings, private pre schools and I'm like "we just stayed in....again." I would get invited out and I would have to say no, not because I didn't WANT to, but because I couldn't afford it. After you keep saying no, they start to suspect things and you eventually don't get invites anymore. Idk.... Selling our house and the move will put us in a better financial situation, so hoping that combined with a more fitting location will help me get some true, long term friends.
I believe most people talk entirely too much about nothing and mostly just to hear themselves talk and fill the empty air. That opinion is just one of my many social problems!
Yes that is probably true lol. I don't mind listening to it much as long as they aren't conversation hogs. My dad does that and it's incredibly irritating. I just never have any relatable stories to add to the mix so I just kinda sit there. I also enjoy talking about news stories, politics, hot button issues, medical studies, parenting/child rearing studies, or any other interesting new info. I spend a lot of time reading articles, but those kinds of things don't usually come up during toddler play dates . I also like swearing which is inappropriate and the Mormon moms around here aren't too keen on that either .
Yes that is probably true lol. I don't mind listening to it much as long as they aren't conversation hogs. My dad does that and it's incredibly irritating. I just never have any relatable stories to add to the mix so I just kinda sit there. I also enjoy talking about news stories, politics, hot button issues, medical studies, parenting/child rearing studies, or any other interesting new info. I spend a lot of time reading articles, but those kinds of things don't usually come up during toddler play dates . I also like swearing which is inappropriate and the Mormon moms around here aren't too keen on that either .
Penny I spent my life as a housewife and mother in affluent neighborhoods where lots of the mothers stayed home and logged thousands of park bench hours. I never connected with those women, they were so vapid and silly, and mostly unrealistic about their kids which really bothered me as I am such a stone realist.
Just to say, been there. Oddly, they all seemed to like me and invite me to stuff. Looking back I now think I faked it SO well is why. I would have a headache and sore facial muscles afterwards, from fake smiling. I did it for the kids, as I never wanted to play with my kids myself so made sure they had plenty of playtime with other kids.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. I also like swearing which is inappropriate and the Mormon moms around here aren't too keen on that either 
.
